Don't feel happy anymore

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one

Been with my girlfriend for about 3 years. The relationship started badly as she was in one at the time we met and there was loads of lies and messing around which caused major trust issues and still leaves niggling doubts in the back of my mind.

Fast forward 3 years and we now have a 1 year old and a house in her home town at the far end of the country from where my friends and family are (although it's been tough we've gotten through everything ok and had loads of great times. Lately though I've been feeling miserable , things feel strained and there isn't a huge amount of conversation and I'm now at the point where I hate being at home.

We don't really fight much more so go quiet and one day fades into the next. I just feel suffocated on all levels. Our relationship for the first couple of years was volitile and dominated by trust issues and truth is I think I'll never fully trust and now she is starting to get nervous of where I do be , what I'm doing etc...

I'm at a point of questioning where it's all going and wondering if we'd be happier apart. Am I jumping the gun or what do you think of them situation?

CaraMay

I think you are jumping the gun. Has she given you any reason not to trust her since you've been together?

Have you talked to her? Is your life outside the relationship satisfactory or is everything getting to you?

beks101

I think you got addicted to the drama that seemed to define your relationship and now that there's no time for that because there's something more important in the equation i.e your child, you don't know how to relate to one another.

I also think this is a residual issue from the dishonest and deceitful way that the relationship started and a walking advertisement for why getting into a relationship under such terms is a bad idea in the long run.

alias06

Beks makes a good point above but now you are where you are. And you have a child together. You should at least sit down and talk it out with your partner. Your post reminded me of a Bob Dylan song about the end of a relationship that went "the silence of tongues it was building". Your partner surely feels the silence building too. Sit down and talk it out with her and see what you can both do to make the relationship work or agree to go your seperate ways.

MugMugs

Not to be a told you so but relationships built out of cheating are very difficult things to further pursue.

In saying that, you've built up a relationship on top of this for three years.

You're obviously having doubts and concerns however don't imply that you no longer love your partner. As such, identify your issues and approach them with your partner.

You may well find the permanent reassurance that you're evidently craving.

heretochat

You mention in your post that you are living at the opposite end of the country from your friends and family? Are you living near her friends and family?

If so I am wondering is there some resentment on your behalf towards that situation.

Also there is now a child involved in your relationship so the not talking bit comes across as a little immature. You both need to at least communicate for the child's sake.

You need to talk through your frustrations with your partner and see where you go from there