Guy im intrested in acting funny

Heyitsalexee

Hey, So the guy im interested in ..acts very funny..
He's 19
I'm 22
let me tell you guys the story.

I saw his profile on a dating website and I thought He was the cutest thing ever.. (He's really not that attractive) but to me he is.. and that should matter..

I call him cute and he always tells me he isn't... he also thinks I'm Crazy for being interested in him and for liking him. but i can't help who i like and its him... I'm a good looking guy.. more than he is.. could this be why he's acting funny?..

I've spoken to him online for about a month and half or 2... and finally he gave me his number like last week...I should mention when I first messaged him... he read my message and didn't respond for a WEEK and he did come online a few times a day......flash forward....we've been texting and such.. but he seems a bit distant now.... I told him good night and i'd like to call him tomorrow night.. and he responded.. Good night that calling thing "maybe another day" ... and it made me kind of mad... I haven't responded as yet

Should I be upset?... I mean I don't mind doing the chasing.. but he's making me think he's playing games with me..I've asked him if he was nervous in speaking with me... and he said why am I ASSUMING that..

He's also a Scorpio. im a cancer :P .. idk i like him and he just seems to be so wrapped up in being self conscious im starting to loose patience..its just talking on the phone.. i want to get to know him.. I want to know everything about him im so curious for him.. not in a stalker way obviously ..

am i in over my head here?

Honestly, there could be a lot going on that you don't realize. At such a young age, there's a chance that he's living at home and his parents might not be accepting of his sexual orientation, or that there are other things going on in the background. From what you say, it seems like he has low self-esteem (never taking the compliment, but moreso rejecting and denying it). I would possibly stop contacting him for the time being, just because I'd be worried it might turn into a slight-infatuation for you, as you've already stated you want to know everything about him.

Chances are that you'll find someone closer to your age or older, that might be a better position to accept you more than this guy can. Of course, I could be completely wrong.

Just in case you don't already know, there is an Online Dating forum here on Boards, which you can get access to here and an LGBT forum, which is here.

Heyitsalexee

I hear what your saying.. & thanks for the advice! :P

but he doesn't even get along with his fam.. and they know about him..
He's a college student... and it seems he does have low self esteem.. but . Idk
I guess I just want to be there for him.. and i'm getting shunned but not really because he does show interest .. just in a funny way i guess

but knowing a person is what you so when you want them.. lol not because im head over heels or anything

ShaShaBear

Heyitsalexee wrote: »

I hear what your saying.. & thanks for the advice! :P

but he doesn't even get along with his fam.. and they know about him..
He's a college student... and it seems he does have low self esteem.. but . Idk
I guess I just want to be there for him.. and i'm getting shunned but not really because he does show interest .. just in a funny way i guess

but knowing a person is what you so when you want them.. lol not because im head over heels or anything

You have to remember and realise as well that, just because he tells you something, doesn't mean it's true. That's the risk everyone takes when participating in online dating. For all you know he is being honest, but for all you know he still lives at home, is curious and has no intentions of taking it further.

Penny Tration

He sounds extremely insecure. No amount of compliments from you will change that.

If he won't speak to you on the phone, can you see him having the courage to go on a date?

Heyitsalexee

Heyitsalexee wrote: »

]
I guess I just want to be there for him..

So it seems that rather than a relationship, you'd somewhat rather be a mentor? Again, I could have gotten that wrong. That's something you cannot force. If you really want to be there for him, just tell him so and then let him do the deciding. If he wants you or needs you, he'll come to you. It shouldn't be the other way around, because it could ultimately push him away further.

And just because he doesn't get along with his family doesn't mean their opinions don't affecting him and just because they know about his orientation doesn't mean they're accepting of it. Unfortunately not everyone is as forward thinking as one would hope.

What I would definitely say is to leave him alone for the time being and just find somebody else that might be more interested. Definitely stop now before it moves from simple curiousity to infatuation. You're both young and probably still exploring who you are.

heretochat

Either (a) he is confused, not ready to come out etc. and is worried about taking things further or (b) he is messing around with you and is not really interested..

Either way it appears that you are doing all the chasing and he has made no effort at all.

I would chalk this one down to experience and move on

miamee

There are a lot of time wasters on online dating sites unfortunately. They are there to have a look, a few chats and go no further really. He sounds like one of these people. To be honest, I would leave him be and start contacting others on the site.

You have never met him or spoken to him, so getting on with things shouldn't be difficult. If it is, you should ask yourself why you are so invested in this one guy?

Stavro Mueller

miamee wrote: »

There are a lot of time wasters on online dating sites unfortunately. They are there to have a look, a few chats and go no further really. He sounds like one of these people. To be honest, I would leave him be and start contacting others on the site.

You have never met him or spoken to him, so getting on with things shouldn't be difficult. If it is, you should ask yourself why you are so invested in this one guy?

^^This. There are people who will message and text til the cows come home but won't ever make the jump to a phone call or a date. When it comes to online dating, the advice many people give is to meet the person you've been messaging within a week or two. If you think about it, it's a date you want. Not a penpal. You can't know whether you'll be compatible with someone until you actually meet them in person. By then you might've built up a picture of them in your head that's nothing like the real person.

It loooks like this guy has either gotten cold feet or was just messing in the first place. At this stage it's time for you to stop doing the chasing and leave him be. Let him get back to you if he's interested. He knows you are so the ball is in his court.

What I've found is that when someone goes "missing" or consistently takes a long time to reply to texts, they're avoiding you. For what it's worth, I think this guy was dipping his toes into the online dating world, now feels he has bitten off more than he can chew and is terrified of speaking to you, let alone meeting you. The more you chase him, the further he will run.

Heyitsalexee

Thanks guys for all the help I appreciate it. I like what boneyarsebogman & cymbaline are basically saying the same thing... the ball is in his court. So I'll let it be for a bit.

Tho I haven't responded to his text " Good night that calling thing , maybe another day" text last night cause I was a little irritated by it... and NO text today I should still leave it right?

lol Its weird people want a certain type of guy , one that shows interest , calls, texts.. i guess to sum it up has good communication skills.. and when they get.. don't know how to act

also this is weird for me.. cause usually I don't need advice but for some reason i do with this one... lol i guess this is growing up :P

Again Thank you guys... very friendly forum here wonder how come i didn't know about this before :P

miamee

Heyitsalexee wrote: »

Thanks guys for all the help I appreciate it. I like what boneyarsebogman & cymbaline are basically saying the same thing... the ball is in his court. So I'll let it be for a bit.

Tho I haven't responded to his text " Good night that calling thing , maybe another day" text last night cause I was a little irritated by it... and NO text today I should still leave it right?

lol Its weird people want a certain type of guy , one that shows interest , calls, texts.. i guess to sum it up has good communication skills.. and when they get.. don't know how to act

also this is weird for me.. cause usually I don't need advice but for some reason i do with this one... lol i guess this is growing up :P

Again Thank you guys... very friendly forum here wonder how come i didn't know about this before :P

Yes, the ball is still in his court. See if you hear from him at all - if not, you have your answer about whether he is really interested or not.

Stavro Mueller

Yes you should leave things as they are. You are clearly very (too?) enthusiastic and this guy is fobbing you off. There aren't as many people out there as you'd think who are straight up and let you know where you stand. A lot of people act a bit weird or disappear in the hope that you'll take the hint and avoid the need for uncomfortable conversations.

whirlpool

Maybe he just doesn't find arrogance attractive.

Look for someone who does.

Taltos

whirlpool taking a week's break from PI for failing to post inline with our charter. Keep it civil and constructive or don't post.

Thanks
Taltos