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Issues at home- is moving out selfish?

  • 13-01-2014 12:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    Will keep this short.
    Am living at home with parents and sister.
    Serious issues at home for the last month(parent has paranoia issues and these came to a head last month), Christmas was the most horrible week, trying to putting on an act in the most impossible of situations, it's all a blur now.
    Sister and I are both starting to come around and try and take a more selfish viewpoint, parents have dealt with the situation pretty abysmally in our opinions and although it obviously isn't easy for anyone, starting to feel we have to get on with things and look after ourselves.
    She has very important few months coming up regarding her studies.
    We are both being used as sounding boards by both parents.
    I am doing my best to stay calm but have the propensity to snap and let it all out, which from what I read is not the thing to do in these situations.

    Ultimately, I feel like the best thing for me personally is to move out for a while, but I'm worried that it may be selfish and unfair on my sister.
    Wouldn't be able to afford to move out together, which would probably be the ideal thing to do.
    I'd really appreciate any advice- am finding it hard to talk to extended family and friends.


Comments

  • #2
    redfacedbear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 891 ✭✭✭redfacedbear


    I'd always be of the opinion that you need to put yourself first if things are too toxic at home. If things become too much for you you're not going to be much help to your sister.

    A few things to think about first though -

    Will your sister's study pressures finish this year or will there be more next year?

    Once her study is over would she be in a position to come with you?

    If so, do you think you can stick it out until she is ready?

    If you go will it be possible for you to give your sister a bit of a haven in the new place - would she be welcome for dinner a few nights a week and to crash for the night if things are particularly **** a home?

    I think you also need to speak to your sister before you make any firm decisions.

    Good luck.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    redfacedbear wrote: »
    I'd always be of the opinion that you need to put yourself first if things are too toxic at home. If things become too much for you you're not going to be much help to your sister.

    A few things to think about first though -

    Will your sister's study pressures finish this year or will there be more next year?

    Once her study is over would she be in a position to come with you?

    If so, do you think you can stick it out until she is ready?

    If you go will it be possible for you to give your sister a bit of a haven in the new place - would she be welcome for dinner a few nights a week and to crash for the night if things are particularly **** a home?

    I think you also need to speak to your sister before you make any firm decisions.

    Good luck.

    All very helpful questions and I will consider these over the next few days. Thank you.


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