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Envious of boyfriend's past...

  • 12-01-2014 3:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone, looking for some perspective from the wise people on boards.

    My boyfriend and I have been properly together for 18 months and live together next to his family home in the countryside for the past six months. . He is 15 years older than I am (I am in my late twenties). He has never been married and has no children. He's been extremely successful and a high earner. I've been working abroad professionally for about 3 years and living in an expensive city with decent wages but student debt to repay.

    Although there's a signifcant age gap there is no issue. If anything my boyfriend is the more sociable of both of us. He's the life and soul of the party with lots of energy. My boyfriend is really well travelled thanks to his job and various gap years in his 20s and he also gets away on golf and ski-trips a couple of times a year. I on the other hand have studied abroad, had a couple of summers away but nothing to that extent. We've been abroad together last summer which was great.

    He's my first love, I never trusted anyone as I have him and cannot at this stage imagine life without him. He's amazing to be with, really supportive and loving. We've talked of marriage and children and are very much on the same page. I cannot however help but get envious when I hear about his travels and experiences. Invariably he comes out with another country or continent that he's travelled to. I know he has gone places with his exes at different times too. He's my first boyfriend and I have none of these experiences before him. He says that we will travel together but I know that my days of jetting off are numbered as given his age children will have to come soon. I want all this with him but how can I stop myself getting jealous of his life before me? I feel I have a lot of life left to live. Has anyone else had similar experiences?


Comments

  • #2
    alias06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 298 ✭✭alias06


    I think its a case of not being able to have everything. It sounds like you have a fantastic boyfriend that loves you. He obviously put off settling down and having kids to travel and do other things. That's a choice/trade off he made. It has pluses and minuses to be honest. You are going to have to make choices and accept trade offs in your life also. You can't have everything.

    You might think his days travelling were all brilliant. I'm sure he had his ups and downs like everyone else. I often talk about places I have travelled to as if I had a fantastic time because it makes for good conversation but often times when I was travelling I was lonely and sad. There is a reason people want to return and settle down as well you know. Globetrotting can be fun but only for a while.

    Focus on the positives in your life which are many.

    Even if you do get married and have kids that doesn't mean your travelling days are over. Obviously they will be more limited but families do go travelling too. And travelling is so much more fun when you are with someone you love. You are really blessed to have the option of travelling with someone you love.


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