Hard to Beat a Real Home Fire

JupiterKid

Does anyone else here think that on a gloomy January evening it's hard to beat sitting in front of a roaring real home fire?

Just watching the wood crackle and burn whilst cozying up to the heat is surely nourishment for the human spirit. Or any AHers virulently anti-fire?

Professey Chin

Id love a fireplace

Sir Osis of Liver.

A stove is your only man.
Toasty.

Sir Arthur Daley

I prefer the underfloor heating, no more cold toes.

wazky

True enough OP, there's nothing like your house going on fire.

Sir Arthur Daley

wazky wrote: »

True enough OP, there's nothing like your house going on fire.

While wearing 3D glasses

wazky

WikiHow wrote: »

While wearing 3D glasses

Always think of safety, remember that condom.

kerry4sam

JupiterKid wrote: »

Does anyone else here think that on a gloomy January evening it's hard to beat sitting in front of a roaring real home fire?

Just watching the wood crackle and burn whilst cozying up to the heat is surely nourishment for the human spirit. Or any AHers virulently anti-fire?

I am currently sitting by a lovely open-fire in the living room. The stove is going in the kitchen behind my back & Fools n Horses in on the tv - only one thing could make this moment more lovely - having my loving Dad (now Resting in Peace) here with me!

Sir Arthur Daley

wazky wrote: »

Always think of safety, remember that condom.

In this case would he be better off without it? the jizz could help put it out.

Muise...

Wood is too noisy, though it smells lovely. Turf purrs - like a lambent pussycat.

Daqster

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

A stove is your only man.

Not the worst but I prefer Peat.. and a nice open hearth.

JupiterKid

Apparently in Germany there is a TV channel that shows a fire 24/7 so you can sort of pretend that you have a fire in your living room - well, on the TV.

IMO nothing beats a real home fire.

Mint Aero

Be god then, there nar be a better un.

Daqster

JupiterKid wrote: »

Apparently in Germany there is a TV channel that shows a fire 24/7 so you can sort of pretend that you have a fire in your living room - well, on the TV.

The Three stores had it on over Christmas on large LCDs.

Sir Arthur Daley

JupiterKid wrote: »

Apparently in Germany there is a TV channel that shows a fire 24/7 so you can sort of pretend that you have a fire in your living room - well, on the TV.

IMO nothing beats a real home fire.

Is the channel in 3D?

Teyla Emmagan

My boiler has just gone. As has UPC. Sob!

Daqster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyU3bRy2x44

wazky

Would have a better effect to set fire to your tv.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Anyone else hate the smell off turf?
I think it fcukin stinks.

Mint Aero

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Anyone else hate the smell off turf?
I think it fcukin stinks.

Ah now

Sir Arthur Daley

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Anyone else hate the smell off turf?
I think it fcukin stinks.

I used to smoke it as a young lad, horrible stuff to smoke.

wazky

WikiHow wrote: »

I used smoke it as a young lad, horrible stuff to smoke.

I love astroturf though, nice crisp taste.

Sir Arthur Daley

wazky wrote: »

I love astroturf though, nice crisp taste.

You eat astroturf :eek:

The Backwards Man

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Anyone else hate the smell off turf?
I think it fcukin stinks.

There's something wrong with your nose.

Nothing like a turf fire, nothing.

Tin Foil Hat

1) Buy the coal. Put in car. Drive home. Carry coal around back of house. Clothes, hands and car filthy.

2) Clean out fireplace. Get bucket of coal from coal stash. Clothes and hands filth again. Put firelighters and coal into fireplace. Sh1t, forgot firelighters. Go to shop to buy firelighters, place in fireplace. Set alight, trying not to burn fingers.

3) Sit in massively overheated room with no temperature controls or off switch while the rest of the house actually gets colder. Watch kids like hawk in case they get third degree burns. Panic when going to kitchen or jacks. Periodically go out into cold, wind and rain to top up coal.

VERSUS

Press button on gas boiler control panel.



Real fires. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Sir Arthur Daley

Tin Foil Hat wrote: »

1) Buy the coal. Put in car. Drive home. Carry coal around back of house. Clothes, hands and car filthy.

2) Clean out fireplace. Get bucket of coal from coal stash. Clothes and hands filth again. Put firelighters and coal into fireplace. Sh1t, forgot firelighters. Go to shop to buy firelighters, place in fireplace. Set alight, trying not to burn fingers.

3) Sit in massively overheated room with no temperature controls or off switch while the rest of the house actually gets colder. Watch kids like hawk in case they get third degree burns. Panic when going to kitchen or jacks. Periodically go out into cold, wind and rain to top up coal.

Maybe we love the misery of doing it.

wazky

WikiHow wrote: »

Maybe we love the misery of doing it.

Or that gas fires are as good at heating the room as the microwave is.

The Backwards Man

Tin Foil Hat wrote: »

1) Buy the coal. Put in car. Drive home. Carry coal around back of house. Clothes, hands and car filthy.

2) Clean out fireplace. Get bucket of coal from coal stash. Clothes and hands filth again. Put firelighters and coal into fireplace. Sh1t, forgot firelighters. Go to shop to buy firelighters, place in fireplace. Set alight, trying not to burn fingers.

3) Sit in massively overheated room with no temperature controls or off switch while the rest of the house actually gets colder. Watch kids like hawk in case they get third degree burns. Panic when going to kitchen or jacks. Periodically go out into cold, wind and rain to top up coal.

VERSUS

Press button on gas boiler control panel.



Real fires. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

1) Cut the turf. Spend endless glorious days in the bog working the turf, enjoying beautiful scenery, exhilarating wildlife, and delicious sandwiches.

2) Bring the seasoned turf home, happy in the knowledge that your summer of hard work transforms itself into cheap heat for the winter.

3)Sit smugly in front of a roaring turf fire and not give one flying fluck about the rising price of gas/coal/electricity.:P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!:pac:

Muise...

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Anyone else hate the smell off turf?
I think it fcukin stinks.

I used to hate it - it was the wet woollen smell of being stuck in old gran-aunts' houses in Galway and Mayo. Now I sniff my hands after throwing another briquette on the fire, and I think I'd stand barefoot in the snow for a whiff of the real thing.

ABajaninCork

Aaah yes. Just banked mine down with a bit of coal, and have thrown on a few more logs. Must be good, 'cos the dog's stretched out in front of it!

dh1985

The Backwards Man wrote: »

1) Cut the turf. Spend endless glorious days in the bog working the turf, enjoying beautiful scenery, exhilarating wildlife, and delicious sandwiches.

2) Bring the seasoned turf home, happy in the knowledge that your summer of hard work transforms itself into cheap heat for the winter.

3)Sit smugly in front of a roaring turf fire and not give one flying fluck about the rising price of gas/coal/electricity.:P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!:pac:

Be one witht the turf

Archeron

I reckon the real blessings are in fan heaters. That tender blast of red hot electric heat, the coldness five seconds after you knock it off, the esb bills and that wonderful dry skin. Aaaaahhh.

Sir Arthur Daley

Archeron wrote: »

I reckon the real blessings are in fan heaters. That tender blast of red hot electric heat, the coldness five seconds after you knock it off, the esb bills and that wonderful dry skin. Aaaaahhh.

Dont forget the pleasant dry throat too.

Muise...

WikiHow wrote: »

Dont forget the pleasant dry throat too.

and the crusty eyelids.

ABajaninCork

WikiHow wrote: »

Dont forget the pleasant dry throat too.

Also happens when you leave the central heating on overnight. Bliss!

Tin Foil Hat

The Backwards Man wrote: »

1) Cut the turf. Spend endless glorious days in the bog working the turf, enjoying beautiful scenery, exhilarating wildlife, and delicious sandwiches.

2) Bring the seasoned turf home, happy in the knowledge that your summer of hard work transforms itself into cheap heat for the winter.

3)Sit smugly in front of a roaring turf fire and not give one flying fluck about the rising price of gas/coal/electricity.:P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!:pac:

Ludite

The Backwards Man

Tin Foil Hat wrote: »

Ludite

Bolshevik.:pac:

Tin Foil Hat

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Aah yes. Just bed mine down with a bit of coal, and have thrown a few more logs. Must be good, 'cos the dog's stretched out in front of it!

How big is he?
It's 20 minutes per pound plus 20 minutes over. Should be done half way through the late late show.

Sir Osis of Liver.

The Backwards Man wrote: »

There's something wrong with your nose.

Nothing like a turf fire, nothing.

Maybe I snorted too much of it in my younger days.