Looks

mariaalice

A good friend of mine got married recently to a man she met on a dating site I married some one I met on a dating site, que lots of discussions about dating sites, it turned in to the usual discussions of...dire, never again, and one or two saying it was good. This got me thinking about something I only recently realised.

When I used a dating site, I could have said I was a Satan worshiper who spends every Saturday sacrificing goats in a black mass and said that I was mean, miserable and materialistic, with no sense of humour. HOWEVER if I was also good looking and attractive with a fabulous pair of boobs I would get lots of messages......My point being that the men were mostly ( not all men ) primarily motivated by what the woman looked like and how good looking she was and not by what they might have in common to build a relationship on. Am I being harsh or is there a grain of truth in it.

The men I was meeting were not in the first flush of youth either.

This is no a dating site thread, but one about being motivated by how good looking a woman is above any thing else.

Sleepy

There's as much a grain of truth to it as there is to the theory that women are mostly (not all women) primarily motivated by what a man can provide and how fat his wallet is rather than by what they might have in common to build a relationship on.

cantdecide

It's all about the stats on these sites. Undoubtedly, some men are on them strictly for some sort of carnal gratification or for some personal high or ego boost of some kind. Inevitably, a hot female will draw attention more than someone plain but the reverse is also true for men. Although we've all seen the examples of women who have trolled the male usership of these sites with fake profiles featuring attractive pics with caricature personalities and found the shocking result that they still get messaged, I don't think it fair to tar all men with the 'shallow and only care about looks' brush. That would be as irrational as saying the same about women because it would be naive to think that hot men don't get messaged more than plain men.

In my case, I used these sites and got absolutely nowhere. It wasn't because I didn't do it 'right' or because I have a bitter personality- I put a continuous effort into my profile taking advice from all sides but nothing really worked. I would message all kinds of women all the time and would almost never get a reply. I know there are better looking, more photogenic, more gregarious guys than I but I still got feck all results out of it so I eventually gave it up forever. It doesn't mean women are shallow.

mariaalice

Sleepy you could be right, but how do how do you account for the men who got in touch who has absolutely noting in common with me what so ever, and when asked why they said your photo is nice and I don't bother with the profiles ( happened more that once ) It cant be put down to immaturity.

Sauve

Mod

Hi OP, I'm going to close this thread for two reasons.
One, we don't allow discussions on dating sites here (there is a separate forum for that, details of how to gain access can be found in the charter), and secondly, there's a hint of the 'sweeping statement' about it.
Not all men are attracted to one thing or the other, and not all have the same intentions when it comes to the opposite sex.