I live in my own head too much

LegacyUser

Being unemployed, I've had a lot of time to think about my problems lately. I've 1 friend who I rarely see, so an actual social life is something I want. I'm pretty much crippled by loneliness and becoming more shy, the longer I stay away from human contact. As mentioned i'm unemployed so a job is another goal. I'm useless with women, so improving with the opposite sex is another one on the list. I want to improve in all these areas equally. My problem is, I want to improve in my head, but when it comes to actually doing things, I never do them. I'll spend hours reading about joining clubs, but then not go. I'll say to myself i'm gonna talk to girls at coffee shops etc, but I just don't. I say I'll apply for absolutely any job, but I only apply for ones related to my degree. How do I get out of this problem of living in my own head, and actually do things? At this rate i'm destined to waste my life. But over analysing everything is a huge problem for me

ongarboy

I think you need to take baby steps. You've listed numerous significant things that you plan or would like to do, all of which take time, effort, commitment and in some cases major life change. This is probably overwhelming you and forcing you to retreat back to doing nothing.

Why not start with focussing on one development. I suggest you start with job hunting and broadening you horizons to work at something else while you wait for a suitable degree related position. If you want degree related employers to consider you, your CV will look far more attractive stating that you served coffee or stacked shelves rather than simply being unemployed. Once hired, it gives you a reason to get up in the mornings, a sense of purpose and contribution and you start looking forward to time off again (weekends etc).

A lot of what you wish for can be inter-related. When you start work, you are intermingling with other people which often creates a social outlet (from watercooler conversations with colleagues to lunches in the canteen to after work drinks). This is an outlet for making friends who can introduce you to their friends including girls ( a lot of married couples either met at work or through work intermediaries). It also can introduce you to clubs or hobbies that your workplace are involved with (tag rugby etc) or that work colleagues participate in. (5 asides, running etc).

You could also consider volunteering while job hunting which also involves meeting new people and giving you a sense of purpose and contribution.

are you sporty. or were you ever? take up a new sport, its a great way to meet people.

TheFarneyman

Go buy "The Secret" in Easons or wherever and the documentary is on Netflix. Babay steps and set weekly goals for yourself and it'll help you get out of your rut and stop procrastinating and become more assertive.