Wedding last weekend

Carmoll

My daughter got married last weekend, the ceremony was great as it was in an amazing setting with beautiful music and was conducted by a friend of the couple. I'm afraid the hotel was a difficult experience. It was obvious from the start that we were not a hit with the staff. The bride and groom decorated the venue the night before in a vintage style. A litany of issues ensued including : the staff resented being asked to put on clean chair covers, they were put out by the detailed decor even though it has been agreed in advance, they refused to provide the 2 complimentary rooms agreed in advance, the service was very slow so the " afters " had to wait outside for 45 minutes, the banquet manager was rude to guests yet sycophantic to the couple, they did not have a knife for cake cutting so we used a table knife, they threw out the wedding cake. I think they disliked us as it was a minority religion wedding where virtually none of the guests drank alcohol so they didn't make much from the bar. It was also a wedding with many guests from other countries and diverse racial backgrounds. I'm sad about it however on the plus side even though no second helpings were offered the food was good. The D J was great and we danced for hours. My sister who works in marketing thinks I should give the hotel written feedback especially as they have a wedding fair this weekend , should I bother?

ABajaninCork

Absolutely I wold give feedback. But do it via your daughter and son-in-law as they were the original clients.

Did you discuss this with them?

Carmoll

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Absolutely I wold give feedback. But do it via your daughter and son-in-law as they were the original clients.

Did you discuss this with them?

They are aware of some of it, we ( bride's family ) hid as much as possible from them . I attended 2 meetings with the hotel's wedding planner at their request so I do know her

January

Why didn't you get your daughter to raise this all the day after the wedding?

sweetie

January wrote: »

Why didn't you get your daughter to raise this all the day after the wedding?

Maybe because the Op says the couple were unaware of many of the issues and that the morning after her wedding day wouldn't be an ideal time to taint the experience?

Milly33

Go for it. Jes I would name and shame in that suituation. It is always good to know about bad places. Sorry to hear that the day didnt go as planned well for ye and glad also that the happy couple did not get wind of anything. I would defo arrange to meet with the supervisor and explain, also with the wedding cake i would ask for a refund what made them through it out..It shoudl not matter if you are drinking at a wedding or even that it is a wedding of sorts they are there to help you on the day and do their job If they dont do it properly then that is reason to say something

Carmoll

Milly33 wrote: »

Go for it. Jes I would name and shame in that suituation. It is always good to know about bad places. Sorry to hear that the day didnt go as planned well for ye and glad also that the happy couple did not get wind of anything. I would defo arrange to meet with the supervisor and explain, also with the wedding cake i would ask for a refund what made them through it out..It shoudl not matter if you are drinking at a wedding or even that it is a wedding of sorts they are there to help you on the day and do their job If they dont do it properly then that is reason to say something

The bride is a quiet person , she is leaving for her honeymoon Friday. I'll write to them and copy the manager and see how I get on . I guess I'm obsessing about why the staff were so weird, cold etc as I'm struggling to make sense of it .

ABajaninCork

Carmoll wrote: »

The bride is a quiet person , she is leaving for her honeymoon Friday. I'll write to them and copy the manager and see how I get on . I guess I'm obsessing about why the staff were so weird, cold etc as I'm struggling to make sense of it .

I'd also be interested in the outcome. At least if the letter's written today, the hotel will get it within one week of the wedding, and the staff may remember what happened.

As a matter of interest. What did the bride say when she discovered the venue threw out the cake? If that were me, I'd be raging!!

AoifeCork

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I'd also be interested in the outcome. At least if the letter's written today, the hotel will get it within one week of the wedding, and the staff may remember what happened.

As a matter of interest. What did the bride say when she discovered the venue threw out the cake? If that were me, I'd be raging!!

FIRST thing that crossed my mind... That, alone, warrants a strong worded letter of complaint. One of the main food expenses of the day and the people representing the venue THROW IT OUT?! I am so shocked.

Gatica

Carmoll wrote: »

they refused to provide the 2 complimentary rooms agreed in advance

This is also a very obvious break from contract, do you have this in writing?

Teyla Emmagan

Definitely. You have some genuine grievances there and as you met the manager twice I see no reason for this not coming from you. Staff should be friendly and courteous to everyone and all commitments should be honoured. Changing seat covers is hardly a big deal.

Teyla Emmagan

.

the_syco

Carmoll wrote: »

they did not have a knife for cake cutting so we used a table knife, they threw out the wedding cake. I think they disliked us as it was a minority religion wedding where virtually none of the guests drank alcohol so they didn't make much from the bar. It was also a wedding with many guests from other countries and diverse racial backgrounds.

The room was rented out, and the barman would've been paid out of that.

I wouldn't involve the bride until after the honeymoon, because if as you say she's a quite girl, she may have been devastated by them tossing the cake out (esp if it was a custom cake) but just not showing it. Let her go and enjoy her honeymoon.

Have a sit down with the MiL, and plot revenge; it's sometimes better to go over something like this with a cool head, and the MiL may have more info.

Finally, ensure you let people know that this is not a hotel that caters to minorities, to prevent anyone else day from getting ruined.

clint_silver

I've seen cakes thrown out if there was fresh cream involved. Dairy, health hazard etc. As for the cake knife, hotels specifically mention the knife and stand in their packages, have you got this in the contract?

Did you get the 2 complimentary rooms stated in the contract? Its the only thing that will stand up in an argument.

Did you get agreement in the contract about the chair covers? How do you know the staff resented putting on chair covers? This is pretty customary for staff and would have been done before you ever get in a room.


When you say the service was slow, can you elaborate? Slow in comparison to what? . What time was the sitting, how long did each course take? Usual wedding running time is to sit at 5:30 finish at sometime between 8 and 9 depending on speeches. were speeches before or after wedding. How long were they for? what time were afters guests told to be there for? I get to weddings at 8 as thats the earliest time I get in a room. I would estimate an average time is 9:30 and that can in extreme cases be as late as 11. Usually long speeches, long dinners, bride was late rather than hotel but it can happen.

Did noone get second helpings or just some people, this is unusual.

Moonbeam

I would read the contract in detail then make then speak to the wedding planner and write a letter of complaint to the general manager and wedding planner.

tatli_lokma

We had similar experiences at our wedding 4.5 years ago - would be curious to know if it's the same hotel!

As to the cake, we were told ours was all gone, when we knew full well it couldn't be. Asked staff to double check the kitchen, no joy. As we were checking out, I spotted through the door to the back office the remains of my cake in the foil sitting on the desk in the office!! Cheeky feckers! I demanded it be returned. Possibly same thing with OP - cake wasn't thrown out, you were just told it was?

The Princess Bride

Hi OP.
I would recommend you make an appointment to speak with the Wedding Planner/Manager face to face.
Writing them a letter - might take ages to resolve.
Remember to give the positive feedback first.
Then politely point out what went wrong, and how disappointed you are with the service.

Most people only have one wedding day,and I'm sure the hotel would prefer you to tell them directly what went wrong, than inform prospective future customers?
Tell the hotel staff this too.

I would hate for anybody to have negative memories of what should be a special occasion.
Best of luck.

xzanti

I would be livid if my wedding cake was thrown out.. that is disgraceful.

ABajaninCork

The Princess Bride wrote: »

Hi OP.
I would recommend you make an appointment to speak with the Wedding Planner/Manager face to face.
Writing them a letter - might take ages to resolve.
Remember to give the positive feedback first.
Then politely point out what went wrong, and how disappointed you are with the service.

Most people only have one wedding day,and I'm sure the hotel would prefer you to tell them directly what went wrong, than inform prospective future customers?
Tell the hotel staff this too.

I would hate for anybody to have negative memories of what should be a special occasion.
Best of luck.

I think the above isn't the greatest advice. ANY complaints/observations should be made in writing. That way, the issues as the OP sees them are clearly laid out and understood. Otherwise it degenerates into a 'He said/She said' situation. Not the most professional way to approach it.

I don't necessarily agree that responding to a letter 'takes ages' either. If the venue are in any way professional, I would expect a response within 10 working days maximum. That allows the venue time to make their own enquiries and interview the staff working at the wedding.

Neither would I be telling the hotel staff anything. I would deal with the wedding co-ordinator and the manager ONLY.