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Long distance - confused

  • 07-01-2014 12:39am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone, wouldn't mind a few opinions on this issue I'm having.

    The background is I'm female, 29 and have been pretty much single most of my adult life. I have met a fair few guys and been on quite a lot of dates over the years but its never really took off with anyone before. I think this was partly due to me never feeling "the feeling" I always expected to feel when I met that someone special. I'm not talking about a lightening bolt but a connection or a spark with someone that makes you interested in learning more about them.

    Anyway, I was down the country on holidays during the summer and I met this local guy. From pretty much straight away, I felt way more comfortable with him than any other man I've ever met. For the week i was there, we met up a few times, I met his friends and generally had a really good time.

    When I came home, we texted every single day, and met up every 4 to 6 weeks. I would like to meet up more often but I work full time and am doing a degree part-time so spare time is really limited. We took turns visiting each others home town. We live about a 5 hour drive away from each other. Every time we met up, it was great. We got on brilliantly and had a real laugh together. We never really discussed what our relationship was other than to agree we werent seeing other people.

    We last met up at the end of November and like all our other meet-ups, we had a really good time. However, since he went home that time, the amount of contact between us has really dropped off. I feel I'm always the one who has to contact him. I know he is busy in work but I just cant help but feel his interest in me has declined.

    I really like him...way more than anyone else I've ever met. Obviously there is a chance tho that he doesn't feel the same. This is the problem really, I have no idea how he is feeling or what he is thinking. Do I just let this taper off with less and less contact? Or should I initiate some sort of discussion about the status of our relationship. I definately want some sort of discussion but how do go about doing this. Should I initiate it over text?? For some reason I feel this would be inappropriate. I could ask him down for a visit but I'm nervous I'd be asking him down for (worst case scenario) us to break up. I'm just not sure what to do!


Comments

  • #2
    Typer Monkey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Typer Monkey


    Why on earth would you let it taper off without having a chat with him first? That'd be an awful waste if you like him a lot. Why don't you pick up the phone and after some chit chat just say 'come here I can't help but feel you're ringing/texting less/putting less effort in (whatever applies) and I'm just wondering if you're still interested in perusing this or what?'

    See what he says. He might be loosing interest, he might not. He might think you are. He might think the distance is too much, he might think you do! You'll never know if you don't talk about it. Have a think yourself about what you want before the conversation cos he's bound to ask.

    Good luck


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