Giving presents to people who don't give back

mathie

Every Christmas the missus and myself have the same debate. Should we or should we not give our neighbours a box of chocolates. I'm the scrooge who says no but she always wins as it seems like the nice thing to do.

Every year without fail the house on each side says "Thanks very much" and nothing in return.

Am I a man of sense or as tight as a nuns undergarments?

MrStuffins

How expensive are these chocolates? Get one of those €5.99 tubs of Celebrations and give them those!

It's nice to be nice and if they're good neightbours what's the harm?

bee06

If they never give you anything back I definitely wouldn't be continuing to give them more chocolate the next year. Of course, I wouldn't have started in the first place either because the less I have to do with my neighbours the better.

tin79

Buy next years ones now and then you will have the satisfaction of giving them out of date choccies. Your missus wont check the date I bet.

Akrasia

If it gives you a good feeling inside to give them the chocolates, then keep doing it, if you only feel resentment towards your neighbours then stop giving them christmas presents.

Giving people gifts in order to receive one back is not the spirit of christmas and if you keep a ledger of what you gave and received from everyone, you're only fooling yourself.

(it's different with pints in a round system, there every penny needs to be accounted for :P )

Pumpkinseeds

So every year you give them chocolates at Christmas. So they know that they're going to get a box of chocolates from you and yet can't be bothered to buy something in return. Screw em, figuratively not literally, I wouldn't bother bying my neighbours anything.

The only time we ever got anything from a neighbour at Christmas was when I saved her father's life one Christmas day, all I got was a small bottle of Baileys. Cheap bitch:rolleyes:(her not me)

MadsL

Gifting isn't barter.

humbert

The only reason I'd consider not giving them presents is that they might prefer not to exchange gifts and you might be making them feel awkward. I certainly wouldn't abstain simply because I wasn't getting anything back.

Tiddlypeeps

I picked tight, but that's probably a bit harsh. I don't give my neighbours anything, but I don't ever speak to them. If my OH wanted to give them something tho I wouldn't question him. Giving gifts is the spirit of Christmas, some don't care about not getting anything in return so if it makes her feel good then leave her too it.

Unless your actually strapped for money, in that case it's probably a bit of a silly expense.

WilyCoyote

I should think a bit of French kissing or at least a good feel would be in order. Perhaps they're very hung up sexually.
Try a little box of Spanish Fly eclairs next Christmas

Alf Veedersane

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

The only time we ever got anything from a neighbour at Christmas was when I saved her father's life one Christmas day, all I got was a small bottle of Baileys. Cheap bitch:rolleyes:(her not me)

What were you thinking you might get?

A Ferrari?

A magnum of the finest champagne money can buy?

How did you save his life in any case?

Banjo String

My da always says you don't give a present to get one back.

Not wanting to give your neighbours presents is fine.

Trying to stop your wife from giving them presents purely because you resent not getting a present back is ridiculous. Unless of course you each have separate bank accounts and she's dipping into yours to buy them.

kneemos

The gift is in the giving.

Also what would be the point of you all exchanging a box of chocolates?Somebody gives somebody receives.
It's like a gay night out.

Pumpkinseeds

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

What were you thinking you might get?

A Ferrari?

A magnum of the finest champagne money can buy?

How did you save his life in any case?

He went into a Status Epilepticus and was basically going into seizure after seizure after seizure, without much of a break between seizures. They'd no idea what to do and were too petrified to do anything but knock on doors asking for help. When I got there he'd soiled himself and was choking on his own vomit. So I got him into the recovery positition, cleared his airway and stayed with him until the ambulance arrived. They didn't speak much English so they couldn't tell me if he had health problems or if it was something out of the blue. Was only joking about her being cheap, it's just the only time we've ever gotten a Christmas gift from a neighbour.

anncoates

I've enough to be buying for without having to get gifts for my bleeding neighbours.

J_E

The whole obligation of gift matching is silly. You should give a gift because you want to, not to expect something back. It's not an investment and return deal. Not everyone can afford it either.

Ush1

Our neighbours gave us chocolates which was nice so I gave them a bottle of wine I got as a gift, I don't drink wine so I won't miss it.

Zillah

I think most present-giving has become a stupid, meaningless chore, and I resent people giving me some awkward knickknack and expecting me to get them a similarly pointless oddity.

If your neighbours never give you anything but you keep giving them something then you're the one trying to impose an exchange that they have no interest in.

"Damn, those weirdos next door got us something again. When will they get the message?"

Santa Cruz

humbert wrote: »

The only reason I'd consider not giving them presents is that they might prefer not to exchange gifts and you might be making them feel awkward. I certainly wouldn't abstain simply because I wasn't getting anything back.

Just continue to be ripped off by the misers next door. No thanks

humbert

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Just continue to be ripped off by the misers next door. No thanks

You do realise that attitude is miserly?

lazybones32

mathie wrote: »

Every Christmas the missus and myself have the same debate. Should we or should we not give our neighbours a box of chocolates. I'm the scrooge who says no but she always wins as it seems like the nice thing to do.

Every year without fail the house on each side says "Thanks very much" and nothing in return.

Am I a man of sense or as tight as a nuns undergarments?

It's a gift - an unmerited, unearned present from you to another. If they did something to deserve the biccies, it would be payment/reward not a present.
It's meant to be a symbol from you, from your own generosity about their value to you.

Professey Chin

I never expect anything back. I just like giving presents. Probably too much

rwg

Rev Run would be turning in his grave at this thread

Lando Griffin

Used to swap presents but this summer heard the neighbours say things about my appearance through the fence as I sun bathed; so this year they got a bunch of sour grapes.