What does a bridesmaid gift the Bride & Groom

jaxopi

Hi Guys,

A close friend of mine has asked me to be her bridesmaid She happens to be marrying a close family member of mine.

I had intented to put 200-300 in a card for them but was recently talking to someone who was just asked to be a bridemaid for her soon to be sister in law she joked that the girl had only asked her so she could pay for something in the wedding.(cake, photographer, favours dj etc)

My friend is being very generous (i think over generous) by paying for everything for the bridesmaids: dress, shoes, make up/tan, hair and giving us all a room. Granted she has gotten a few complimentary rooms from the hotel but i think these would be better allocated to guests travelling from abroad but she won't take no for an anser! Had i not been bridesmaid i would of happily paid for my own accomodation & all the essentials in getting ready!

Is it normal for bridesmaids to pay for something in the wedding or just to give money/present?

Any help or advice would be really appreciated

January

You don't have to pay for anything in the wedding if you do not want to.

200-300 is more than generous.

Littlelulu13

I would be over the moon if my bridesmaid gave me €200-300. Its loads!! A bridesmaid should be picked because you want that person by your side on your big day not for any financial gain (but not every bride sees it that way of course).

I think cash and a lovely personalised gift would be fab! If you are friends since childhood then a storybook of your lives as friends, a hand written letter from the heart to thank them or a keepsake of the day etc. i think if you show how you appreciated being chosen it will outweigh any amount of money.

Gatica

A bridesmaid is usually someone that's close to the bride and often someone who's helpful on the day. Helping with little things, and helping the best man with presents/cards, etc...
Bridesmaid like any guest I would imagine would usually give a normal wedding gift, whatever that is. It is not expected that her gift would be somehow more expensive because of being a bridesmaid, that's crazy! It is also quite normal for the B&G to pay for anything out of the ordinary required by bridesmaid for the wedding, i.e. bridesmaid outfit, bouquets, etc... and if anything, the B&G or Bride at least sometimes have a thank you gift for bridesmaid for their help. Though many will say that dress/make-up is enough. You get the idea though...
So whatever you want to give is fine and 200-300 from one person attending a wedding is more than generous and above average from my understanding.

jaxopi

Thanks very much guys you have been a great help

Sligo1

Yep, each of my bridesmaids gave me between €200-300 which i was more than delighted with.
I paid for everything including their dresses, rooms, Jewelry etc. they also all brought their partners.

They were doing me a service being great bridesmaids and great friends! So what they gave me i thought was more than enough! They also threw me an awesome hen party!

Triceratops Ballet

I've been lurking on this thread for a bit as I am Bridesmaid to my friend of 25 years this year, and I've been wondering the same in terms of gifts, she is paying for dress, flowers hair etc, I'll be paying for my own room, and I'm not bringing a partner to the wedding (no point bringing him as he won't know anyone there), I was thinking of giving her specifically a gift from me a charm bracelet or maybe a spa treat for both of us, and gifting them both €100/ €150 in a card does that sound ok?

solerina

dottie_lottie wrote: »

I've been lurking on this thread for a bit as I am Bridesmaid to my friend of 25 years this year, and I've been wondering the same in terms of gifts, she is paying for dress, flowers hair etc, I'll be paying for my own room, and I'm not bringing a partner to the wedding (no point bringing him as he won't know anyone there), I was thinking of giving her specifically a gift from me a charm bracelet or maybe a spa treat for both of us, and gifting them both €100/ €150 in a card does that sound ok?

Yes..more than enough !!!

lilyrose

I was just about to post a similar question !
I am bridesmaid for my friend and my boyfriend is best man (my friend is marrying his brother). We originally said we would pay for the cars €700 and I am doing the cake but our circumstances have changed as I have just had a wee girl so we would now only be giving €300 and cake but I think they are going to be disappointed when we tell them - don't know what to do, what is reasonable to give ?

Birdie086

lilyrose wrote: »

I was just about to post a similar question !
I am bridesmaid for my friend and my boyfriend is best man (my friend is marrying his brother). We originally said we would pay for the cars €700 and I am doing the cake but our circumstances have changed as I have just had a wee girl so we would now only be giving €300 and cake but I think they are going to be disappointed when we tell them - don't know what to do, what is reasonable to give ?

I'd imagine they would be aware of, and understand your change of circumstance. Things happen.

What is reasonable to give is what you can afford, not what you think you should give.

solerina

lilyrose wrote: »

I was just about to post a similar question !
I am bridesmaid for my friend and my boyfriend is best man (my friend is marrying his brother). We originally said we would pay for the cars €700 and I am doing the cake but our circumstances have changed as I have just had a wee girl so we would now only be giving €300 and cake but I think they are going to be disappointed when we tell them - don't know what to do, what is reasonable to give ?

To be honest ye were being overly generous in the first place (in my opinion) as a cake costs in the region of 350+ in most instances...so I think they should be delighted anyway. However if ye had told them ye were also getting the cars I would explain that ye can no longer afford them first, just in case they are still expecting ye to pay for them.