Any advice appreciated.

Salem2013

Hi all,

I am just looking for some advice, please! I am a semi-regular poster, but since I have sisters and close friends on boards, I am using a different name!

I have read a lot of the threads in the forum, but can't seem to find one that applies to my situation, and just amn't sure if I need to pay a legal person just yet!

My wife and I separated in April of 2013. We have no children, and luckily didn't buy somewhere together (I only say luckily because now that we are apart, it seems like it is a good thing!) We were living apart before we decided to split, more for work reasons than anything else, but things finally ended in April. I just am not too sure how we need to proceed. Neither of us has done anything yet - I think we were both just trying to get used to being apart. It has all been very amicable thus far, and hopefully it will continue in the same way! As I said, we have no children and no property. Any of the savings that we had were divided between us, and we have nothing to fight over (I really hope). I never pictured myself needing advice on separation and/or divorce, though I don't imagine anyone ever does! There is absolutely no chance of us reconciling, and I honestly believe that us separating was definitely the right decision for both of us.

I just am not sure where to go next, or what I should be doing, or what I need to be doing, if anything. I would really appreciate any advice on what needs to be done!

Chazz Michael Michaels

I know nothing about this topic. But I'd look hard at those silver linings. No kids. No assets.

cgh

I'd suggest trying Mediation first and go from there.

braceface

I would suggest mediation also, and updating (or making) your will. Mediation would only take a couple of sessions if it is all amicable and there are no assets to divide.

Best of luck with moving forward

desbrook

Why mediate ? There's really nothing to mediate about, (assets, kids ) with a strong possiblilty it will just raise suspicions and get your OH thinking there might be some point in delaying things that you have something to hide .

Am I say do nothing NO ! As regular readers will no that's the last thing I say . It's very tempting in your situation to sit back and do nothing - that's in effect what you have done for the last year . It's easy to say "I / we have no property / no kids what could go wrong ? " . Thing is in time you WILL have property and kids and thats where it will all get messy if you do nothing . You will almost certainly have new partners too so it would be nice if everything is as smooth as possible .

For the moment you need to agree whats called a "Deed of Separation " which is basically a legal document/agrrement between you and you ex . It need to be witnessed by solicitors and sets out that you are both separated from each other and how you both agree to manage that separation .

The first thing that you and your wife need to negotaite is the date you separated . It's really important you agree on this as this is when the clock starts ticking for divorce . It must be a minimum of one year after you married and DON'T make it up - it could jeopardise the whole agreement it you do . From that date there is a four year wait till you can apply for a Divorce if you wish .You will need legal advice . Mine is to get that advice BEFORE you talk to your wife . Just be aware she could have already got some - it's her right too .

At the moment you are liable for her debts and her yours . If she get's an inheritance you have a claiim - and vice versa . Its a long list . Irish marraige law strongly binds you - even with legal separation you will be presumed the father of any children your wife has until nine months after you divorce each other if you do .

Sort it asap - don't wait until one of you really need to separate .