My new addiction - looking for advice...

emmabrighton

I know this post will appear, on face value, to be in the wrong forum but I fully believe my addictive personality has caused me to be in a place where I feel that I need to write this today.

Stopped drinking 2 years ago under dramatic circumstances. I was drinking 2-4 glasses of wine per night, every night and had the appearance of a freckled pink bowling ball. I would say I was between 12 and 14 stone even though I was going to 1-2 sports classes 4 nights a week and eating very little: bowl of porridge, egg sambo for lunch and a wrap for dinner every night.

Then, a month after I stopped drinking I found out I was pregnant and went off food. So not drinking coupled with not eating resulted me in losing weight over the next 6 months. Had a premature baby so spent the next 3 months in and out of hospital, continued to lose weight, then brought baby home and was breastfeeding - could pretty much eat what I like and not put on weight.

Today I find myself after 4 months of binge eating - mostly because of stress and just letting myself go, I am back to where I was weight wise when I was drinking. What a complete disaster! Especially considering I forked out €€€ to attend a certain weight management clinic in October.

I would say the sales person leading the session each week was giving a "Dummys Guide to CBT" and told to "cure" all the fatties that stomped through the door. At first I saw my weight drop by half a stone in the first week and then creep back up over a month to where I was. I then threw in the towel, that was December 1st and have since ate like a pig until today - had a slice of oxford lunch for breakfast because it was sitting on the counter and seemed more appetizing than watery porridge.

I want to lose weight and I want to get fit but I don't want to give up more than an hour of time with my son a couple of days a week. I don't drive so getting to the gym is going to be a hassle

My big problem is eating, it really reminds me when I was trying unsuccessfully to give up the booze. Not drinking for 24 hours was so hard. Waking up in the morning not hungover and knowing that I had gone 24 hours was a success but generally only managed because I would have been in the horrors the day before. The next 24 hours was the tough one because I didn't have a hangover. I was bored with nothing to do in the evening but I would bare it through gritted teeth. I rarely made it past 2-3 days before I would crumble under the pressure and I would drink again. Once i managed 10 days but crumbled again. I cannot even begin to tell you how good it felt to get through 4 weeks of sobriety. I felt so proud of myself.

Anyway back to the eating. I made it 11 days and lost 7 lbs but truth be told I spent every second thinking about food. I was thinking about the unappetising sludge I had had for breakfast, I was thinking about the rancid egg I would have to choak down at 11, I was thinking about the beans and lamb I was going to have to eat at lunch and the beans and salad I would have at six. Then from six on wards was going to be a nightmare. No food at all where I had gotten used to chomping on something, anything - toast, biscuits, chocolate bar, jellies. When I deprive myself of the food I am used to, all I can think of is food. It is so unbearably hard.

Now its the new year and I want to start working out. But because I have put on so much weight I am ashamed to go to the gym. I had an idea that I wanted to try weight training or boxing but I don't know how to go about it. i don't want to be the lard ass in the class. I will be and I am so ashamed of myself. I never wanted to be this person.

I know that a lot of you started working out as soon as you stopped drinking, and never looked back. I managed to squeeze in another addiction between drinking and now when I want to get fit. Can you tell me how you got over the fear of entering the gym and how you stopped yourself thinking about going for pints all the time.

It was pretty easy for me to not drink when I gave up because I was so ashamed of my drinking behaviour. I am finding giving up junk food so much harder...

Wattle

There's a fair number of overweight people in the gym I go to. I don't think anybody pays them much attention. I mean you would expect to see overweight people in the gym so no people are not going to stop what their doing and stare at you. The thing is that when you join a gym you are the one who should specify how it goes. If you think you might embarrass yourself in a class you can just ask to do an individual training program for the first few months. When you feel fitter and more confident you can then participate in a class.

It can be difficult to make the leap especially if your confidence is low and that's where your courage needs to come in. But the endorphin buzz and the feeling of wellbeing is totally worth it. I think regular exercise would help with the quality of food you consume too. If you are in exercise mode your probably less likely to eat unhealthy foods.

Wattle

There's a fair number of overweight people in the gym I go to. I don't think anybody pays them much attention. I mean you would expect to see overweight people in the gym so no people are not going to stop what their doing and stare at you. The thing is that when you join a gym you are the one who should specify how it goes. If you think you might embarrass yourself in a class you can just ask to do an individual training program for the first few months. When you feel fitter and more confident you can then participate in a class.

It can be difficult to make the leap especially if your confidence is low and that's where your courage needs to come in. But the endorphin buzz and the feeling of wellbeing is totally worth it. I think regular exercise would help with the quality of food you consume too. If you are in exercise mode your probably less likely to eat unhealthy foods.

emmabrighton

Thanks Wattle, Yes I know... plenty of overweight people at the gym, especially this time of year so now would be a good time to start. I am not going to look much different to the other people just starting out.

When I stopped drinking, i was told not to even try giving something else up for the next 12 months because my body was trying to cope with not drinking any more.

Its funny because as much as I want to say people in Ireland don't like hearing about "people with drink problems" because it brings down the mood, i would definitely say the same applies for people with weight problems. To me, they are both addictions. End of.

xzanti

I struggled with my weight for years... when I stopped drinking and saw how much lighter I felt it really drilled home just how many calories I was taking in with sweet drinks.. so I gave up all sugary drinks, including fruit juices or squashes..

All I drink is water, loads of it!! and I only take hermesetas in my tea/coffee and I find that works great for keeping the weight off..

I'm the lightest I've been since my early teens.. I wish I'd realised sooner that most of my calories were coming in liquid form

3 sensibly sized meals a day and a few snacks.. eat when hungry and stop when full..

I'm not sure if that's any use to you.. but that's what works for me..

emmabrighton

Yes, I suppose I am in a self-destructive spiral right now.

And with all the good intentions in the world, I just can't trust myself to behave around junk food. I see myself doing exactly what I was doing with drink but instead with food. I used to pound the first glass of wine before my conscience would get the better and I wouldn't drink. Same with food I will quickly eat the first bit so in my head I have "ruined" my good intentions for the day... So, I would be free to misbehave for the rest of the day.

Walking home from work this evening so will pop into the supermarket to pick up a 2 litre bottle of water. I won't get caught out this evening with nothing but diet coke and club orange.

Carpet diem

I think its about ratio of 80:20 diet to exercise for importance.

So making subtle changes in diet will be a lot more effective.

I think carbs and sweets things are the killers. I'm cutting down on carbs and cutting out sweet things. Just make sure you get you fibre and wholewheat if you cut out bread.

There just my thoughts and everyone is different and best of luck.

Re gym everyone is in same boat otherwise they wouldn't be there.

emmabrighton

Maybe I am over thinking it. Just like when i stopped drinking I couldn't fathom how it was legal to sell alcohol in petrol stations and then I had a mental shift and thought just cos there is alcohol in petrol stations, doesnt mean I have to buy it... stupid, I know but that is the way I thought back then... and now I feel compelled to eat whatever junk is in the house - I don't even like dairy milks but would help myself to a square if it is in the fridge... ugh... so weak

Right, no more over thinking just doing

Sunnyisland

Found this Emma,
Written by: Alastair Mordey
Many people who go through treatment for addiction often forget about the risk of substituting their old addiction for a new one; this type of behavior can lead to many future problems. Once this is realized, it can become a concern for them and their loved ones. Substituting an addiction for something else can be very unhealthy and create problems, so it is important for anyone in recovery to understand what substituting an addiction means, how to recognize it, and what to do if it happens.

What Does Substituting Addiction Mean?
Substituting an addiction means to replace a previous addiction with a new one. While not all substitutions are unhealthy, the behavior that causes them is. Anything that a person does that is compulsive, that they cannot live without, no matter what the consequences are, is an addiction.

Recognizing Substitute Addiction
It is important for a recovering addict and their families to be able to recognize a substitute addiction. If not caught, the person’s healthy behavior can quickly turn back into an addictive behavior. Substituting can be alcohol to drugs or vice versa, gambling, overeating, excessive exercise, overworking, compulsive spending, or compulsive sexual behaviors.

The person may begin to only focus on their ‘new thing’; such as, when they can go back to the casino or take their next pill. They may exercise so much that they begin to look sick, or may spend money like there is no end to it. Just as in their previous addiction, they will compulsively think about when they can satisfy their need or cravings. Things are now turning into a pattern of unhealthy behavior and they are developing a substitution addiction.

Examples of Substituting
One example of a substitute addiction is as follows. Take a person who went to treatment for alcoholism. They successfully completed treatment and went home to begin their recovery. A few weeks later, they begin to feel stressed or anxious because of their new life, new job, etc. They may begin to feel they are unable to deal with daily minor frustrations. They may not want to drink for fear of a relapse; these feelings alone can create unnecessary stress. So the person may begin smoking cigarettes, increase their cigarette intake if they are already smokers, or take a sedative medication. They may begin to substitute their alcoholism with another substance and may become addicted to it.

Another substitution that is very common is overworking. If a person is working on a non-stop basis, they may feel that it is ok, as it is keeping them occupied. However, if they begin to bring their work home and devote any free time they have to work, they are becoming compulsive. Their family may be ignored, their own health may be ignored, and anything outside of their work is ignored. They may no longer be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but they now have an unhealthy addiction to work.

What’s wrong with Substituting an Addiction?
Often times a recovering addict may feel that their new behaviors are ok; what they are doing is just helping them to alleviate some stress. They may feel that they have everything under control, and that it is a once in a while thing. The real problem is the recovering addict’s behavior. While they may be free from their last addiction, they are still engaged in addictive activity and compulsive behavior.

If a person or their loved one is beginning to notice a pattern of consistency, or obsessions with something, the recovering addict may be developing a substitute addiction. As with any addiction, there are ways to handle it.

How to Treat a Substitute Addiction
What to Consider
One must also consider how long they have had the new addiction, how compulsive it is, and how many consequences they have had because of the substitution. If a person substituted their past addiction with drugs or alcohol, then it would be best to get into a rehab.

Outside Counseling or Therapy
Drugs or alcohol might not be what the person is substituting. This can make them not qualify for treatment at a rehab center. If this is the case, they may need to seek other counseling or therapy.

Changing Their Behaviors
No matter what the situation is, they again have to learn how to change their pattern of behavior. In other words, they must be able to turn their unhealthy behavior in to healthy behavior. Cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT is excellent for this. The whole point of CBT is to learn how to develop healthy behaviors. Many rehabs offer CBT and some will even help the person after rehab through an aftercare program. There are also CBT counselors and therapists that can help with a substitute addiction.

12 Step Meetings and Other Support Groups
12 step group meetings or other support groups can also help a person substituting an addiction. A person can listen to other recovering addict’s stories and learn from them. These groups are full of people who can relate to similar experiences and situations. They give support and do not judge. All in all, the person must go back to the basics of recovery.

Recognize It, Treat It
There is no set time for treating a substitute addiction. Some are easy to overcome and others may take just as long as the original addiction. The quicker that a person is able to recognize their compulsive behaviors or their substituting, the easier it may be to treat it.

emmabrighton

realies wrote: »

excessive exercise

I wish...


Thanks Realies for posting this... Interesting.

I reckon its carbs in any shape and form but my favourite has to be marshmallows. It must be all the sugar in them but I can actually feel myself get a "high"/"rush" from them. How nuts does that sound??? I am like a kid at a birthday party after I eat them...

But the habits are the same... I eat them alone in my room, just like I drank...

It would actually be comical if it werent so depressing... all that weight gain!!!!

Question is, if you were in a meeting, could you mention how marshmallows are affecting your life - I doubt it. I reckon people would take offense you being there talking about how you were addicted to sweets...

Back working on mindfulness, might give CBT a go...

I started a slow carb diet on monday - monday and tuesday were the worst. I had really bad headaches on tuesday. I had to take paracetamol so that I could work... Also even after I had had a full dinner, I wasn't satisified so ended up eating eggs, chicken and pinto beans until I felt I was going to burst. Deep down, I knew if I had a slice of bread or a bar of chocolate, it would have satisified my cravings...

By Wednesday it wasn't so bad so I will keep going ... its only Friday and I get Saturday off so can have carbs tomorrow...

I will have to see how next monday and tuesday go.

Also starting gymnastics next week...

Thanks to everyone for taking this seriously

Ed The Equalizer

Hi Emma

I ballooned after giving up the drink and then 9 months later cigarettes.

The solution turned out to be relatively straightforward. I joined Weight Watchers and lost the 2 stone within about 4 months.

The great thing was not drinking with WW was a huge advantage. Everyone else is saving their bonus points for drinking at the weekend, whereas I could save and have a full blowout at the Chinese with more treats added on top.

It really worked for me and I'd highly recommend it