Can't stop thinking about her but she has a boyfriend

LegacyUser

There is a girl that I am very interested in, I think about her a number of times a day. She just seems perfect to me.

I had a chance to be with her a few months ago but I had some stuff going on and just couldn't. But now she has a boyfriend.

Secretly I am hoping that they break up, so that we can have a chance. I know they are having problems with their relationship and I also know that she still likes me. Ive had opportunities to do serious damage to their relationship, but I dont want to be the person who ruins their relationship.

Her friends even told me to go for her even though she has a boyfriend, but that is not something that I would do and if I though she would I wouldnt really be interested anymore anyway.

I dont know what to do. I feel like I want to wait around until she is available, but there is a possibility that will never happen. I have no way of just forgetting about her. I just feel lost.

Czarcasm

OP what age are you? You'll never be able to purposely forget about this girl, but there are ways you CAN stop yourself obsessing about her, like doing something else with your time to occupy your mind to stop you thinking about her so much.

If you've built up fantasies in your head about what a relationship with this girl would be like, best off forget about them too as that only works in your own mind and this girl has a mind of her own. Her ideas and your ideas don't seem to be anywhere near on the same path as she is with someone else that's not you.

Matteroffact

If you are discussing this girl with her friends you can be sure they are relating back to her what you are saying, so she knows you are interested and will not make a move until she breaks up with this guy. She knows what she has to do to be with you and if she isn't doing it then forget about her.

dipdip

Tell her you like her and would like to go out with her if she was single.

Then the ball's in her court.

Brego888

Op I'm pretty sure a lot of people have been in this position at some stage of their lives. I know I have and its not easy.
She knows you like her so that's all you can and should do for now.
Do something to distract yourself from it. Pick up a new hobby, go on dates etc.
If she breaks up with her boyfriend then you can readress it then.

CaraMay

Op what were your opportunities to do 'serious damage'?

She sounds like a bit of a player. She has a bf even though she 'likes' you and has her friends telling you to pursue her even though she has a bf.. I won't even mention her poor bf in all of this. She is a total messer (at best)...

Tiddlypeeps

CaraMay wrote: »

She sounds like a bit of a player. She has a bf even though she 'likes' you and has her friends telling you to pursue her even though she has a bf.. I won't even mention her poor bf in all of this. She is a total messer (at best)...

That's a pretty unfair assessment. It's a bit unreasonable to draw any of those conclusions given the very limited info on the girl that we were given in the OP.

LegacyUser

CaraMay wrote: »

Op what were your opportunities to do 'serious damage'?

She sounds like a bit of a player. She has a bf even though she 'likes' you and has her friends telling you to pursue her even though she has a bf.. I won't even mention her poor bf in all of this. She is a total messer (at best)...

Yes, totally unfair. How is she a player??! She could of really liked the OP but he didn't do anything about it so had to move on..that makes her a player? She's not suddenly going to stop liking someone completely. Her friends are basically telling you to let her know you are interested so it's then up to her whether she likes you enough to end it with her boyfriend. Better sooner than later that she ends things with the boyfriend if she realises she has feelings for someone else. She would be a 'player' if she was carrying on with you behind her boyfriend's back.

nc19

Its simple really.

YOLO as the kids say these days.


I went after my missus in a sim situation and we're together a long time now. No regrets.

LegacyUser

OP Here.

Im 23. When I said about the chance to do serious damage its a long story, short version is I seen her boyfriend kissing another person, she was suspicious of that particular girl who he was 'just friends' with, but when I just couldnt bring myself to tell her even though she did nearly kiss me just before hand, but pulled back (which I was happy with, shes not going to cheat)

Ive been told by one of her closest friends that she doesnt want to be with him anymore, but I dont know for sure whats happening. I just feel like Im caught in the middle and its too late for me to do anything...

CaraMay

If she doesn't want to be with him anymore then why is she? Staying with someone she doesn't want to be with shows an entirely different character flaw

Taltos

CaraMay wrote: »

If she doesn't want to be with him anymore then why is she? Staying with someone she doesn't want to be with shows an entirely different character flaw

Read this a few times OP - from what you had said of this girl

a) She just sees you as an ego boost
b) She is using you to get back at him
c) She is the type who needs a parachute boyfriend

But to all of the above she and her friends need to grow up. The last time I saw someone act in this way they were teenagers and not adults. Seriously - walk away and thank your lucky socks that she is not your girlfriend giving someone else soft doe-eyes...

In time she might mature and move away from such adolescent behaviour but until that time trust me when I say - stay well away from her and her 90210 friends...

up for anything

Taltos wrote: »

But to all of the above she and her friends need to grow up. The last time I saw someone act in this way they were teenagers and not adults. Seriously - walk away and thank your lucky socks that she is not your girlfriend giving someone else soft doe-eyes...

In time she might mature and move away from such adolescent behaviour but until that time trust me when I say - stay well away from her and her 90210 friends...

I had the impression from the OP that they are actually adolescents and therefore their behaviour is appropriate - growing and learning to handle relationships. That's what being a teenager is all about. Nobody is born knowing how to conduct every relationship - it's a learning curve. Demonising the poor girl for maybe not having the confidence to shed a dodgy relationship doesn't help. I had enough awkward split ups in my younger days because either I or the lad didn't have the nous to end them properly.

OP, if I were you I would make my interest in her clear, only not in front of her present boyfriend. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

ETA: Just saw where the OP says that he is 23. I still stand by what I said about them being young enough to be still learning how relationships work and how to conduct them.