No best man

Careful_now!

I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend got the last 10 years. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter and my girlfriend is really putting in pressure to get married.

The problem is I have nobody to ask to be best man. Not only have I no best friend, I have nobly close enough to me I would even consider a friend.

My girlfriend has 2 sisters which she wants as bridesmaids so she says I need a best man and a grooms man.

Had anybody ever been to a wedding where the groom had no best man and how did that work?

3DataModem

Careful_now! wrote: »

I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend got the last 10 years. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter and my girlfriend is really putting in pressure to get married.

The problem is I have nob

Quoted for awesomeness.

But seriously OP, just ask a male relative or one of your wife's relatives.

My aunt had her husbands sister as bridesmaid and the husband had my dad as best man (a 'swap'). I know people who had strangers off the street.

Careful_now!

3DataModem wrote: »

Quoted for awesomeness.

But seriously OP, just ask a male relative or one of your wife's relatives.

My aunt had her husbands sister as bridesmaid and the husband had my dad as best man (a 'swap'). I know people who had strangers off the street.

I have no brothers and 1 sister. I have one male cousin that I haven't seem since I was about 6. I wouldn't even invite him to the wedding

January

What about asking your dad?

Careful_now!

January wrote: »

What about asking your dad?

I had thought of that but isn't that kinda weird?

I asked him to be Godfather at my daughters christening, he did it, but all the aunties thought it was odd and were asking questions

January

Let them ask questions! It's your wedding and you can have whoever you bloody well want to be your best man, if you want to ask a stranger on the street you can.

Don't let what other people think cloud your judgement. My partner was going to ask his dad to be best man but he decided against it and asked his cousin instead... it's a good thing because his poor dad took a major stroke last year and is now not of sound mind so couldn't be a witness for the wedding anyway.

chinwag

Have you tried explaining this to your girlfriend? She knows you need a best man so maybe you should explain to her as you have done here. She might well be able to help you, it's better to at least make her aware of your problem and perhaps discuss it together rather than you trying to solve it in isolation. Hope it all works out anyway.

Pawwed Rig

Personally I think your Dad would be a great choice.

Rachiee

Youre dad and one of her male relatives job done. Dont stress about it

DieselPowered

Why do you need one?

Pawwed Rig

I had a best man with no groomsmen and my wife had 2 bridesmaids. Was no big deal not having equal numbers.
You need a bestman as he is the witness to the wedding required legally. Whether you call him a best man or not is up to you

Careful_now!

DieselPowered wrote: »

Why do you need one?

That's what I'm thinking. Have people got married with no best man?

My gf wants a big fairy tale wedding with everything.

As I said earlier she wants 2 bridesmaids so she says I need a best man and a grooms man.

If I am really stuck I could ask my dad, but I've nobody else. I don't see my cousins. I didn't keep in touch with anybody from school or college and I don't know the people I work with well enough to invite them to a wedding, let alone be involved in it. And I don't know my neighbors.

DieselPowered

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

You need a bestman as he is the witness to the wedding required legally

The witness can be anyone you want, right? A Best man is just tradition.

Careful_now!

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I had a best man with no groomsmen and my wife had 2 bridesmaids. Was no big deal not having equal numbers.
You need a bestman as he is the witness to the wedding required legally. Whether you call him a best man or not is up to you

But doesn't the best man need to make a speech and stuff? I don't know anybody well enough for that.

StupidLikeAFox

You should check this out. Its a documentary about a guy who is in a similar position to you

iusedtoknow

Or you could have a best woman. I did, raised some eyebrows but my twin sister did a great job. I love the wife's family but she had 2 sisters on her side as Bridesmaids but I wanted someone from my side to be in the wedding .
My sister was the one. She was the sibling I always got on the best with. She wore a nice dress and spoke on my behalf.

123 LC

Careful_now! wrote: »

I had thought of that but isn't that kinda weird?

I asked him to be Godfather at my daughters christening, he did it, but all the aunties thought it was odd and were asking questions

my godparents are my grandparents and i know a few others who are the same don't worry about what other people think, at the end of the day it doesn't matter

Ginny

We had my FIL as best man as couldn't choose between friends. So FIL as best man, then we had a groomswoman, 2 grooms men then my brother came home as a surprise so he was grooms man too. Myself I had only 2 bridesmaids. We did what we wanted, what worked for us, and didn't care about matching up etc....:)
Do whatever works for you, if you want your dad go for it!

jlm29

A friend of mine got married a couple if years ago and had no bridesmaids. She just didn't want any, and didn't see the need. Her now husband had a best man and a groomsman. I assume your wife's two sisters could be witnesses. There's hardly a law that says you have to have a male and a female witness!

Pawwed Rig

Careful_now! wrote: »

But doesn't the best man need to make a speech and stuff? I don't know anybody well enough for that.

That is up to you, it is your wedding. The 'formalities' are all optional. All you have to do is the civil ceremony and sign the register. Everything else is just padding.

Pang

Speeches are totally over rated. We are only having two thankfully.

There is too much tradition associated with weddings. It is very easy to get stressed out and feel under pressure to have or to do certain things.

You could easily forgo having any groomsmen, as the two bridesmaids could walk up and down the aisle together and both of them can sign the register.

January

We're having 5 bridesmaids and 1 best man and 3 grooms men, you don't need to match up.

neemish

Don't be stifled by "tradition". Do what is best for you. We've been conditioned into thinking that only some things are acceptable.

At my sister's wedding, she had her two sisters for bridesmaids. Her husband had just one groomsman. And no, it didn't look weird.

The idea of asking your Dad sounds lovely. If you have a good relationship, who better to stand beside you and support you on an important day? If you really wanted a second person, does your fiancee have a brother/cousin you could ask?

Just to point out as well that there is nothing on the GRO website that says you have to have a male and female witness - they could both be female.

Ganymedian

I see a business opportunity coming on here, "Rent a Best Man" and a Groomsman if required by the fairytale wedding loving females.

A good professional would have no problem generating a good speach from a "life to date" briefing

DK man

Ganymedian wrote: »

I see a business opportunity coming on here, "Rent a Best Man" and a Groomsman if required by the fairytale wedding loving females.

A good professional would have no problem generating a good speach from a "life to date" briefing

Oh Shyte - I can just see it now and a tv programme best man by hank or honk!

Your dad sounds good - that's if you get on well with him and I think he'd be more than honoured

Did you have a close friend from college or when you were younger -

I lost contact with two friends for about 7-10 years when I was younger both families moved and when I made contact again it was amazing how easy it was to rekindle the friendships

Depending on the size of the wedding but the a good best man is a busy man on the day. They have many uses as well as the speech and handing over the rings.
I wouldn't worry too much about the speech part a little story about you and then a bit about when you met your beautiful bride and wishing you both well on your union....

Best wishes anyways

Ironman76

Before my dad got sick I always planned on having him as my best man. I think your dad sounds like the perfect choice. Really dont see whats odd about it. I think its kind of cool actually. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Careful_now!

I get on well with my dad, kind of, my parents seperated when I was about 4 or 5. Only saw my dad every second weekend so he wasn't there when I was growing up. I still talk to him but I don't have what I feel would be a proper father son relationship.

Pawwed Rig

Is your Dad a nice man? Do you think he would be interested in doing it? If you think you do not have a proper relationship with him it might be an even nicer gesture to ask him. Otherwise as others have said you can go without and just get a couple of witnesses elsewhere.
Unless there are other alternatives you have in mind?

Moonbeam

Do you have work mates or colleagues or anything like that? any friends from school?
Surely your girlf would know your friend situation..does she have suggestions?

Sligo1

January wrote: »

What about asking your dad?

This! But only of you want to. I think it's a lovely idea and a lovely gesture. Your dad would probably be delighted at being asked!

A good friend of mine had 3 bridesmaids, one was her mother who was her chief bridesmaid... And this girl has no shortage of people to ask.

Whether you choose to ask your dad or not... You don't have to have groomsmen. Any 2 people can sign the register or be witnesses.

Daveysil15

There's always the registry office. If I was to get married I'd be in the exact same situation. I can't think of anyone I could ask.

Careful_now!

Moonbeam wrote: »

Do you have work mates or colleagues or anything like that? any friends from school?
Surely your girlf would know your friend situation..does she have suggestions?

Thanks for the suggestion but I don't know the people I work with well enough to even think about inviting them to the wedding.

No friends from school, when I was in school I was the kid that nobody liked and didnt have any friends, and that really damaged my confidence so I don't mix very well even now, and I still don't have friends. I've just got used to being on my own.

My gf says I should ask my dad, and honestly there is nobody else I could ask to do it. I just think its weird

Careful_now!

Daveysil15 wrote: »

There's always the registry office. If I was to get married I'd be in the exact same situation. I can't think of anyone I could ask.

Registry office wouldn't bother me at all. I'd be very happy with that, but she wants a big fairytale church wedding and she wants everything to be perfect

pickarooney

Best man aside, you don't sound like you want to get married, to be honest. Is it wise to go through with something you're not really invested in?

Colser

Could you ask someone on your girlfriends side and your Dad?

Careful_now!

pickarooney wrote: »

Best man aside, you don't sound like you want to get married, to be honest. Is it wise to go through with something you're not really invested in?

I do want to get married. And I'm getting some great advice on here. It seems quite a few people have asked their Dad or would love to ask their Dad to be best man.

I didn't think many would have chosen that option.

There is nobody apart from my dad that I could ask and I'm happy that in not thevinlybone in this situation.

January

While I do think you want to get married, I don't think your partner is being very fair telling you you have to have a best man and a grooms man to match her bridesmaids when she knows you have nobody to ask really. She's being a tiny bit bridezilla and you haven't even booked anything yet.

Just remember it is your day too and to invest in the planning as much as her and make your voice known if you don't want something.

pwurple

I agree with the others on wedding parties not having to be matchy matchy at all.

It works just fine with different numbers of men and women. If you have a good female friend, there's always the best-woman option. Your dad is a good idea too, or an uncle, or a member of her family.

Mrs OBumble

If bridezilla says that you need to have a BM / groomsman / whatever, and that they have to be the same gender as you and opposite gender to her bridesmaids etc, then tell her to find them for you.

triggs01

Hi Careful Now - when I got married (albeit a civil ceremony), I was walked down the aisle by my brother in law, I had no bridesmaids and my husband had no best man or groomsmen. The two witnesses were my sister and my husband's brother. Speeches were by me, my husband, his dad and my brother in law. I don't think it was weird at all.

We could have had bridesmaids and a best man, but chose not to - to keep expense down really, if I'm perfectly honest. The only thing I'd say, is that I kinda felt sorry for my husband standing alone at the top of the room waiting for my entrance - but he says he didn't notice and it didn't bother him.....

Rachiee

I do agree your girlfriend is being a bit fussy she's an image in her mind of what the day will look like that's a hard thing to get around. In my opinion no one will notice if the wedding parties don't match up in numbers. They rarely do anymore. You pick you're dad and explain to her there's nobody else allow her pick someone from here own side if she want it matching. Does she not have a brother? Or what about you're sister as a grooms woman or would your bride have a heart attack?