How to win friends and influence people.

intothewild1

Hello,

Ever since I can remember I have had problems interacting with people for many different reasons. I was looking up some self help books when I came upon 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie and I was reading all the reviews from it and they are excellent and it seems like the kind of book that will help me with my problem. Has anyone else read this book and if so has it helped?

Thanks for our help.

P. Breathnach

I read it many years ago, and don't remember any detail. It didn't really appeal to me because I thought there was some falseness in the strategies suggested.

That said, getting on with people does involve some social strategies, and if you don't find them spontaneously, there is nothing wrong in looking around for ideas that might suit you. Once you get going, you should reach the point where you won't need to use somebody else's strategies: you'll find your own way.

porsche boy

Perhaps speaking to a councillor would be of benifit. Sounds like you might have some social anxiety.

Big Bag of Chips

porsche boy, offering medical advice or online diagnosis is strictly forbidden on Boards.ie.

It's one rule we are very strict on. Please be careful in future not to speculate on what a poster might or might not suffer from.

doubtfir3

Hi OP,

In a lot of ways I think that many of us experience different variations of the scenario you have described.. I for example can find it hard to make "small talk" with people at times.. once I get to know a person it comes much easier but I do find that I can avoid social situations entirely because of a certain unease about interacting with others.

I recently bought three books:

Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence others
I don't like it.. I think that a bit like the material put out by Brian Tracey and others, it can focus on schemes, plans, tricks and in general required you to put on a front of sorts, which in itself makes it even harder to engage with others.. at least at the start, and in the longer term, makes it hard to interact with others in a meaningful way - in my opinion.

Debra Fine - The Fine art of small talk
Penelope Frohart - The book of fabulous questions
To be honest, I haven't gotten stuck into those as yet, but think that I'll be able to take something much more meaningful from them... I think that many of us (largely based on personal experience), will feel awkward or perhaps anxious in social environments as it can be difficult to move beyond small talk about the weather, the economy etc, and I think that being able to have a small arsenal of "conversation starters" would be a better start for you..

I'm hoping it will work for me, so fingers crossed it will for you too!

Victoria Fortescue

intothewild1 wrote: »

Hello,

Ever since I can remember I have had problems interacting with people for many different reasons. I was looking up some self help books when I came upon 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie and I was reading all the reviews from it and they are excellent and it seems like the kind of book that will help me with my problem. Has anyone else read this book and if so has it helped?

Thanks for our help.

I've never read this book being honest with you. I don't have any problems meeting people or anything, but all I can advise is joining clubs and groups, sports and social events that your community offer, or indeed online. It is likely that there are a lot of people like you that find it a bit difficult to meet others, so don't look at it as something to be nervous about; you're helping others by turning up and being part of something. Friendships grow from these kinds of scenarios. There is nothing put on about this, because we all meet other people in organised settings as such, whether thats in the workplace, in college, where we live etc., its a circumstance of the people that surround us and who we click with.

The books may give some guidelines, but theres nothing like getting out there and involving yourself with others to find true friends