What am I doing wrong?

LegacyUser

I've had a number of relationships in the past and usually with girls I've felt that I could make a go of it with but with the exception of one, I always get dumped. The latest dumping happened a few days ago and she told me that she just couldn't see us having a future.

Now I am not suggesting that she forces herself to be with me and she knows that but when I asked why she said that when you know you know.

We were together six months and we got very close very soon. I love her and she tells me that she loves me but that we just would'nt work.

This seems to be a general trend with every girl that dumps me!

What am I doing so wrong here?

I am kind, loving and considerate, I just don't know what else to give here! this break up has left me gutted. I actually thought I'd found the one!

wirelessdude01

Are you too much of a 'nice' boy?

GreeBo

Hey OP,

sorry to hear about your breakup, they always suck and it sounds like you were very into her.

It seems strange to me that it took 6 months for her to decide that it wasnt what she wanted. Is there a chance that you are taking things too slowly or too quickly?
My guess would be one of the above and she either got bored waiting or you were moving too quickly for her.
What age are you guys? Had you ever spoken about things in the future? Doesnt have to be married and 10 years in the future, just even about summer holidays etc?

Realistically she isnt going to give an honest answer to why she doesnt want to be with you....no one does during a breakup. In 6 months she might tell you, if you are still in contact and friendly.

I dont agree with being "too nice"...people are supposed to be nice, it wouldnt take someone 6 months to realise that you are a nice fella.

Hope you feel better.

wirelessdude01

GreeBo wrote: »

I dont agree with being "too nice"...people are supposed to be nice, it wouldnt take someone 6 months to realise that you are a nice fella.

Nice can mean a number of things, being there too much, being far too quiet, never giving her her own space. Stuff like that.

GreeBo

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Nice can mean a number of things, being there too much, being far too quiet, never giving her her own space. Stuff like that.

Clingy can certainly be off putting...but I wouldnt call that being too nice.
Also being there too much isnt something I'd call a failing...if you cant be alone then maybe, but being there isnt an issue.

thegreatgonzo

What age are you OP?

alias06

How many times have you been dumped like this? If its five or six times you may not be an outlier at all. You are just seeing it as there being something wrong with you whereas in fact you are just on an unlucky streak. If none of the girls have pinpointed any specific reasons then there probably aren't any. You just haven't found the right match yet. Its hard to understand when you are into someone that they are just not that into you. Just because you are mad about someone does not mean they feel the same. Just get back out there on the scene and get yourself another women.

Tasden

huck_finn wrote: »

women don't like " nice guys " or at least are not attracted to them

they may eventually settle for one but not until their at least thirty five , what age are you ?

My partner is the sexiest most attractive man I know (thought this before we were romantically involved BTW) and I don't think I'd find him as attractive if he wasn't as nice and caring. And I'm in my early twenties.

Be yourself op, its all you can be.

GreeBo

Tasden wrote: »

My partner is the sexiest most attractive man I know (thought this before we were romantically involved BTW) and I don't think I'd find him as attractive if he wasn't as nice and caring. And I'm in my early twenties.

Be yourself op, its all you can be.

Thank you!
I think the whole "women dont like nice guys" thing is a pile of shiite.

Women, like men, are attracted to confidence, you dont have to be a dickhead to be confident. Likewise you can be nice without being a sappy wall flower.

For the love of God, kets not be encouraging people not to be nice, just so they can get a girl...thats just madness!

Meauldsegosha

huck_finn wrote: »

women don't like " nice guys " or at least are not attracted to them

they may eventually settle for one but not until their at least thirty five , what age are you ?

What a load of nonsense and a complete generalisation. OP you need to look at your own behaviour as you are the common denominator in the relationships. As another poster said, do you come on too strong or are you too laid back.

Chazz Michael Michaels

huck_finn wrote: »

women don't like " nice guys " or at least are not attracted to them

they may eventually settle for one but not until their at least thirty five , what age are you ?

I agree, women want you to be a little bit of a rascal. Treat them too nice and they won't stay. The bizarre world of the female mind...

wirelessdude01

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I agree, women want you to be a little bit of a rascal. Treat them too nice and they won't stay. The bizarre world of the female mind...

I would agree with this. They want you to respect them yet still have a little streak about you if you get what I mean.

Chazz Michael Michaels

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

I would agree with this. They want you to respect them yet still have a little streak about you if you get what I mean.

I do. Most will disagree, I'd imagine.

Tasden

It could be that your lifestyles don't seem to fit long term. I found dating a "young free and single" guy just didn't merge well with my lifestyle as a mother whereas a person with kids would fit a little easier as we understand the limitations and whatnot better. Perhaps she just felt your lifestyles were too different rather than you personally.

Also, I get the "bad streak" attraction but, without being vulgar here, you can be as mean or as much of a bad boy when it suits, but still be a nice decent person if you get me? Like there's no need to change your overall personality.

treelights

Well, similar to what an earlier poster said, my boyfriend is absolutely lovely. And sexy, funny, great to talk to, fun to be with, etc. The fact that he is so nice, kind, and respectful to me, along with being nice to other people, makes him "relationship material," in my book. But I've never understood the "women like bad boys" stereotype (and it IS just a stereotype), because I've never considered that to be attractive.

Again, be yourself. But also, pay attention to who you're going out with. Forget about surface-level stuff, do you have the same values? Do you want the same things in life? Could you chat to them all day and enjoy every minute? lt's easy to get swept up in sexual attraction and the novelty of someone new. By all means, enjoy this stage. But think hard about it as well. Why do you like this person and why do they like you?

One more thing, I know you're hurting now, and it's an awful feeling. But it's great that you are clearly attracting women, even if the relationships haven't gone the distance, YET. Many folks out there are struggling to meet other, go on dates, build relationships, etc. You've clearly got the goods!

ash23

I've been dumped too OP. A lot lol.
Sometimes it was for moving too fast, other times it was for moving to slow. Sometimes it was because the person met someone else that they preferred. It's horrible to get invested in someone and then realise they don't feel the same way but sometimes things are just not a right fit and nothing you can do when two people are in different stages of their lives or want different things or feel differently about each other.

I think it's just a case of licking your wounds, taking some time out to become happy in your own skin and your single life and hoping you meet someone to share that with.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the kind advice.

I am 31 and this has hapened five times now.

32 soon !

We met last night to get back our stuff etc...

I asked why and wasn't really given an answer as such.

We both want kids and we both want marriage. I asked if she felt pressured when we had had that chat and she said no. She said the reason for it ending if because you know when you know and she knows that I am not the man for her in the long term. She says that she loves me and gets on great with me and that it is nothing that I have done but she just does not feel that we will ever have a future growing old together.

I told her that I didn't understand and she said that she didn't have the feelings for me that she felt that she should have and that six months is enough.

I think the fact that she tells me she loves me and is attracted to me but just doesn't want to be with me just makes it worse.

Perhaps I am being led a merry dance and maybe she just couldn't give two craps about me, I don't know but it's along another trend of being dumped and told that the feelings just weren't there despite love and passion existing.

I am at a loss at this stage. I am a loving person with a lot to give...... I just want the chance to show somebody this and not end up with egg on my face.

Fed up doesn't even cover it now

Chazz Michael Michaels

IDontUnderstand wrote: »

Thanks for the kind advice.

I am 31 and this has hapened five times now.

32 soon !

We met last night to get back our stuff etc...

I asked why and wasn't really given an answer as such.

We both want kids and we both want marriage. I asked if she felt pressured when we had had that chat and she said no. She said the reason for it ending if because you know when you know and she knows that I am not the man for her in the long term. She says that she loves me and gets on great with me and that it is nothing that I have done but she just does not feel that we will ever have a future growing old together.

I told her that I didn't understand and she said that she didn't have the feelings for me that she felt that she should have and that six months is enough.

I think the fact that she tells me she loves me and is attracted to me but just doesn't want to be with me just makes it worse.

Perhaps I am being led a merry dance and maybe she just couldn't give two craps about me, I don't know but it's along another trend of being dumped and told that the feelings just weren't there despite love and passion existing.

I am at a loss at this stage. I am a loving person with a lot to give...... I just want the chance to show somebody this and not end up with egg on my face.

Fed up doesn't even cover it now

She sounds like a flake, tbh. Women like that are an absolute nightmare, I've met a few, unfortunately. You're better off.

December2012

Some people, like this girl I'm guessing, use the "I love you" words so meaninglessly, yet not maliciously.

I don't think she loves you.

When i really fell in love with somebody i realised how wrong I was saying it about past boyfriends and friends.

LegacyUser

I have to be honest she sounds like a flake. I would just be aware that in a few months time once she meets a few less than nice guys she could come running back to you.
If she does this tell her that you are not interested.

She decided to end things with you. You were honest when you told her that you wanted marriage/children and she told you that she wanted this also.
Perhaps she meet someone else and she thinks he is better than you or maybe she thinks I have years to enjoy myself before marriage/children.

Maybe she has done you a favour which you have yet to see.
Some times things happen for a reason that you don't see at the time. With time passing you see/hear or find out some thing which helps you move on with your life.

Why not enjoy some time on your own, get involved with some new groups or organisations which could help you meet someone else.
Your better off moving on from this rather than thinking you won't meet someone else.

Life is hard enough within out been in a relationship that is going nowhere or being married to someone who does not love you.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I agree, women want you to be a little bit of a rascal. Treat them too nice and they won't stay. The bizarre world of the female mind...

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

I would agree with this. They want you to respect them yet still have a little streak about you if you get what I mean.

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Nice can mean a number of things, being there too much, being far too quiet, never giving her her own space. Stuff like that.

Being dependent, withdrawn, clingy or spineless does not make a man nice.

Nice isn't a codeword.

Most sensible women are ONLY interested in nice guys.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Candie wrote: »

Being dependent, withdrawn, clingy or spineless does not make a man nice.

Nice isn't a codeword.

Most sensible women are ONLY interested in nice guys.

That simply isn't true. My most cnutish friends are the ones who get the most women. I'm a nice guy, but I have to turn it on a bit to get a girl interested. I have no idea what goes on in your minds. No idea. I would rather just be the nice, caring person I really am. But it doesn't work like that for me and my nice guy friends. You're not living in reality.

alias06

She clearly doesn't love you. She is just saying that she loves you to soften the blow which is silly of her really. After the last time I got dumped I promised myself I would learn the lesson. And that is that as the relationship is going along I would check every now and again how things are going and how she feels and ask her if she is sure. That way I won't be sleep walking into getting dumped again. Sometimes we can get so smitten we are blind to what is going on within the other person. It is important to get the other person to articulate exactly how they feel.

thegreatgonzo

Sounds like she is type of person that says she loves everybody. I wouldn't think that it's anything you are doing wrong OP, you've just been unlucky. Maybe you are letting yourself get too involved too quickly, I mean all this talk about marriage and children with someone you only know a few months, how well can you know a person after 6 months?
Maybe because you are so focussed on the marriage and kids idea, when you meet a woman that says that's what she's looking for too it blinds you to other traits in her personality such as sincerity?
32 is really young you know so don't be worrying. Also this whole thing about women not going for 'nice' men and going for the bad guys... Here is what I have learned often the hard way. 'Bad guys' are smart enough to make themselves look like good guys. I started seeing a guy who was all into helping underprivileged kids and all sorts of other wholesome saintly stuff until I learned he was also living with his girlfriend. A bad guy usually does not advertise his badness until he has his hooks in and then it's harder to get out of the situation.
As for the word 'nice', well often people are just too polite/inarticulate/can't be arsed to say they find someone boring. It's a bland word and people that use it are just being lazy or trying to spare someone's feelings.
The way some people talk, it's as if there are only two types of man in the world, nice men who don't get women and bastards that do. Common sense should indicate otherwise.
Don't let your bad experiences get you down OP, just try to put it behind you.

ruaille buaille

Op u sound like the male version of me!

Please dont stop being a nice guy btw, there seems to be a shortage of ye at the moment

Chazz Michael Michaels

ruaille buaille wrote: »

Op u sound like the male version of me!

Please dont stop being a nice guy btw, there seems to be a shortage of ye at the moment

More like a shortage of women willing to give nice guys a chance! ;-)

"Oh, this guy's so cheeky and a total messer. What could possibly go wrong?" :rolleyes:

Chazz Michael Michaels

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I have no idea what goes on in your minds. No idea.

Evidently.

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

More like a shortage of women willing to give nice guys a chance! ;-)

The common denominator isn't the women.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Candie wrote: »

The common denominator isn't the women.

You continue to convince yourself of that.

ruaille buaille

Tbf your right, a lot of women definately go for the bad boy thing. But then again Im sure there are also lots of women out there like me who are looking for a nice guy to treat them right. Just out of interest, are u dating women u met online? I tried the online thing for a while and found that it was mostly ppl looking for a short term thing.

Chazz Michael Michaels

ruaille buaille wrote: »

Tbf your right, a lot of women definately go for the bad boy thing. But then again Im sure there are also lots of women out there like me who are looking for a nice guy to treat them right. Just out of interest, are u dating women u met online? I tried the online thing for a while and found that it was mostly ppl looking for a short term thing.

It boils down to one thing for me. The cheeky boy routine gets the laughs in a noisy bar/club. Laughs = Score. Very simple. Nice guys don't get that. That's just bars/clubs, of course.

In relationships, girls want their boys to be a little bad. But not too much, in the long run. Just a hint of danger. To keep them keen. Too much nice guy, and they lose interest/respect. Maybe its the slight fear that their "bad boy" will up and leave or something, where the nice guy won't do that. I dunno what it is, tbh.

I just started the online thing over Xmas, I have been messaging around 8 girls. I'll try arrange meetups for a few soon. My longest lasting relationships have been ones where I have a chance to get to know someone over time first. I take part in a theatre group and try activities like hiking to facilitate such things happening. If nice guys have a niche, its this kind of stuff, IMO.

Stench Blossoms

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

In relationships, girls want their boys to be a little bad. But not too much, in the long run. Just a hint of danger. To keep them keen. Too much nice guy, and they lose interest/respect. Maybe its the slight fear that their "bad boy" will up and leave or something, where the nice guy won't do that. I dunno what it is, tbh.

Generalise much?

Chazz Michael Michaels

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Generalise much?

I can't account for every person on earth now, can I? But I would be confident that I'm somewhere on the money. I know plenty of nice guys, yet, gosh darn it, women can never find them. Hmm...

Meauldsegosha

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

In relationships, girls want their boys to be a little bad. But not too much, in the long run. Just a hint of danger. To keep them keen. Too much nice guy, and they lose interest/respect. Maybe its the slight fear that their "bad boy" will up and leave or something, where the nice guy won't do that. I dunno what it is, tbh.

By the use of the terms "girls" and "boys" I can only surmise that you are talking about teenager relationships. The majority of women in adult relationships aren't interested in the nonsense you are spouting above.

GreeBo

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I can't account for every person on earth now, can I? But I would be confident that I'm somewhere on the money. I know plenty of nice guys, yet, gosh darn it, women can never find them. Hmm...

Maybe what you and your friends consider a nice guy, actually isnt all that nice to anyone else?

Chazz Michael Michaels

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

By the use of the terms "girls" and "boys" I can only surmise that you are talking about teenager relationships. The majority of women in adult relationships aren't interested in the nonsense you are spouting above.

No. Just all no.

Chazz Michael Michaels

GreeBo wrote: »

Maybe what you and your friends consider a nice guy, actually isnt all that nice to anyone else?

No, I'm very capable of separating a nice guy from a cnut, as can most folk. And one of those immeasurably better with girls/ladies/women/sheilas/etc (Hint, I misspelled it), for the reasons I outlined.

Pull yourselves out of your 'thanks' whoring, guys. Its kinda sad.

Meauldsegosha

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

No. Just all no.

What a cogent argument. You are an oracle amongst us.

Stench Blossoms

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

No, I'm very capable of separating a nice guy from a cnut, as can most folk. And one of those immeasurably better with girls/ladies/women/sheilas/etc (Hint, I misspelled it), for the reasons I outlined.

Pull yourselves out of your 'thanks' whoring, guys. Its kinda sad.

What about looks wise? Are these 'nice' guys attractive?

Because from my experience, any dude who spouts the 'nice guy' speech either isn't actually a nice guy or was just not blessed in the looks department.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

What a cogent argument. You are an oracle amongst us.

This just in, females can't find nice men because they aren't attracted to them. More to follow...

Chazz Michael Michaels

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

What about looks wise? Are these 'nice' guys attractive?

Because from my experience, any dude who spouts the 'nice guy' speech either isn't actually a nice guy or was just not blessed in the looks department.

Yeah, some of them are, actually!

Meauldsegosha

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Pull yourselves out of your 'thanks' whoring, guys. Its kinda sad.

It's nothing to do with thanks whoring and more to do with the utter sh1te you are spouting. This whole nice guys finish last and girls in like bsatards that treat them mean. It is rubbish. On this thread and others a lot of people have disagreed with your bile but you have convinced yourself that you are really a nice guy and the only reason you can't form a relationship is because all women think with a collective brain and only like bad boys.

Meauldsegosha

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

This just in, females can't find nice men because they aren't attracted to them. More to follow...

I found a lovely man and guess what he is nice. And he actually is nice and not this warped sense of nice that you have ie he is not in a theatre group or hiking club.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

It's nothing to do with thanks whoring and more to do with the utter sh1te you are spouting. This whole nice guys finish last and girls in like bsatards that treat them mean. It is rubbish. On this thread and others a lot of people had disagreed with your bile but you have convinced yourself that you are really a nice guy and the only reason you can't form a relationship is because all women think with a collective brain and only like bad boys.

I never said that I can't form a relationship. In fact, a few posts back I talked about long lasting relationships that I have had. I'm actually quite happy with my love life, overall, even though I'm currently single. I've had some great girlfriends, some bad ones, some flings, etc. I've no complaints. I'm just commenting on what I see out there. I know some great guys, that are at least decent looking that can't get women. And I know why.

GreeBo

OP, based on how you come across in your posts you have nothing to worry about.
Continue to be a genuine nice guy, the opposite is on display from others around here.

For anyone interested, quick to anger, sarcastic, rude, self absorbed. All things that most definitely make you not a nice guy, in anyones eyes.

Penny Tration

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. I've dated a few 'bad boys,' who I initially thought were nice guys, and quickly got away from them when they showed their true colours.

I like nice guys. My boyfriend is one of the nicest guys around, no hint of danger. Yet I'm still excited and happy around him.

Op, if you're a nice guy, that's not what's wrong. Sonething is going wrong and the common denominator is you. So, what is it? Looks? Height? Dress sense? Not as nice as you think you think you are? It's something you need to think about.

Chazz Michael Michaels

green_screen wrote: »

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. I've dated a few 'bad boys,' who I initially thought were nice guys, and quickly got away from them when they showed their true colours.

I like nice guys. My boyfriend is one of the nicest guys around, no hint of danger. Yet I'm still excited and happy around him.

Op, if you're a nice guy, that's not what's wrong. Sonething is going wrong and the common denominator is you. So, what is it? Looks? Height? Dress sense? Not as nice as you think you think you are? It's something you need to think about.

Em, are you referring to me? I'm not the op.

Penny Tration

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Em, are you referring to me? I'm not the op.

No. I was referring to the op. :pac: which is why I said op.

Chazz Michael Michaels

green_screen wrote: »

No. I was referring to the op. :pac: which is why I said op.

Ok, I'm getting attacked from all sides here, I got confused! :-D

Big Bag of Chips

Chazz Michael Michaels, please read the forum charter before continuing to post in this, or other threads. Personal Issues is an advice forum. It is not a forum for general discussion or chit-chat. Posters are asked to offer mature, constructive advice to the OP, or to not post.

Many of your posts fall into the "general discussion" rather than "advice" category.

All posters are reminded to keep the charter in mind when posting. Dragging threads off topic by engaging in petty arguments does nothing to offer advice to the OP.

dannyc31

I am 31 and this has hapened five times now.

32 soon !

We met last night to get back our stuff etc...

I asked why and wasn't really given an answer as such.

We both want kids and we both want marriage. I asked if she felt pressured when we had had that chat and she said no. She said the reason for it ending if because you know when you know and she knows that I am not the man for her in the long term. She says that she loves me and gets on great with me and that it is nothing that I have done but she just does not feel that we will ever have a future growing old together.

I told her that I didn't understand and she said that she didn't have the feelings for me that she felt that she should have and that six months is enough.

I think the fact that she tells me she loves me and is attracted to me but just doesn't want to be with me just makes it worse.

Perhaps I am being led a merry dance and maybe she just couldn't give two craps about me, I don't know but it's along another trend of being dumped and told that the feelings just weren't there despite love and passion existing.

I am at a loss at this stage. I am a loving person with a lot to give...... I just want the chance to show somebody this and not end up with egg on my face.

Fed up doesn't even cover it now

hi OP sorry to hear this. the first thing i'll say and that you need to remember is that for everyone, all our romantic relationships in life will end one way or the other bar 1. and that 1 will be the one that you evenually settle down with and that is right for you. so you see it doesnt really matter if its you being dumped or you doing the dumping, the one that lasts is the one that is compatible for you.

as someone else said, you've just hit an unlucky streak with 5 in a row. it could as easily been the opposite were you had to break up with 5 girls in a row so i wouldnt dwell on this too much.

the whole good guy bad guy does have some grounds. its unconscious and based on evolutionary science. there is basically a "dual attraction" thing going on when a woman is chosing a mate. that is, she is attracted to both the bad guy and the good guy at the same time. the problem is they dont always come in the same package.

most of the bad guys as we define them are the cheeky cocky type, they also tend to be this way because they are also usually the handsome best looking guys. since they know they can get many girls they can act this way and get away with it. now if they were less attractive, this would not be such a good approach if they wished to pass on their genes, but maximizing the number of women he sleeps wit is an evolutionary advantage. and from the same evolutionary science the woman is selecting a man who would give her the best looking and healthiest off spring hence being the attracted to this player type bad boy who are more handsome and better looking.

the dual side is that these men dont necessarily make the best fathers, as the fear would be that they wouldnt hang around to help bring up the children and instead would be off chasing their next conquest, therefore a woman is also wanting the nice guy who will be there as a supporting father and partner. this expains why you often hear of alot of women dating these bad boys for a period of time hoping that they can change them and instill the nice guy elements they want. usually this ends in tears, leopard changing spots an all that. anyway thats the science bit over

so OP what i would say is continue to just be yourself and the right one will come along evenually that is right for you.

i wouldnt be too hard on her either i dont think she was being flaky at all. she was just trying not to hurt you. nobody wants to hear "i've spent 6 months with you, tried so hard to feel something stronger for you, as in love, but i just have'nt falling in love with you and cant seem myself doing so in the future". her heart was telling her this is'nt right and she was right to follow it.

she shouldnt of said she loved you but as someone else said, some people throw that word around way too easy to make themselves feel less guilty to what they are doing.

give it time you'll get over her soon enough.

LegacyUser

Thank you for the comments and feedback.

I don't believe that being "nice" is an issue and frankly, if I have to change who I am for somebody to want me then that person most likely isn't worthy of me. I don't have a shining halo however I am not a bad person and I have no intention of ever changing this fact.

I suppose at this stage I am feeling very low and dejected.

I've taken the steps of removing Facebook contact etc from her (which I got a message off her about quite upset by that move) but it was for my own protection.

I've played with the idea of potentially making her jealous but there's no point in that and mind games are silly.

I've made myself realise that as perfect as we were she was not perfect and I've taken the mindset that whilst there were savage times there were also bad times and times that hurt me.

The pinacle part of this however is that I am lonely and I miss her terribly. I truly honestly hand on my heart felt that I had met my life partner and when I really do think about it, don't understand where this all went wrong.

I've taken the time of reflection to write her a letter. I have a little part of her Birthday present which was late arriving and it is of no use to me. I intend dropping it off to her home telling her how I feel and enclosing that present (I just want rid of it)

The last thing I want is to lose face with her and don't want her to think any less of me from this letter. I have been accused numerous times in the past by varied amounts of people of wearing my heart on my sleeve but my view is that if you have won my heart then you're more than entitled to know how it beats. I won't change that. I did before and it made me cold and calous. The ball is firmly in her court.

I need to try and move on from her now and this is something that I know will be difficult.

I do seem to be the common demoninator here as already said. I will need to look at myself very closely when / if I ever engage with another person on an intimate basis but at this stage and with this relationship in mind, I felt that I had done nothing but good.

I don't know...... my head is mush