Tablet Broken...I'm so upset..

LegacyUser

I'm a single parent who lost her job in October - I am struggling both emotionally and financially and trying very hard to live on 217e a week for myself and my son. I have a mortgage and have spoken to the bank.
I saved up 10e a week to buy my son a tablet for Xmas. He is a good child and I knew he would love it. I struggled to get the cash together for the tablet, but I did and his reaction on christmas morning was worth it.

Last night his friend stayed over and between them, they broke the tablet. The screen is cracked.

To say I am devastated would be an understatement. I am crying all morning, I just can't believe that my 13yr old wold be so irresponsible. I haven't even looked into the cost of getting it fixed, I am just so disappointed in him.

I don't know whether to contact his friends mum to ask for a contribution towards the cost of getting it fixed.

Perhaps I am over-reacting to this situation, but I have no money to get it fixed and I struggled really hard to get the money together for it. I'm beating myself up about not teaching him to respect stuff he owns (he has lost about 3 phones also)...

If he's that irresponsible with his things, why would you get it fixed? No, I think it would be better this time if he lives with the consequences and that you explain it will take you a long time to save up for the repairs.
Don't beat yourself up about not teaching him and then rush into the same habits. I know it's a killer after you worked so hard and saved up so long to have it just cracked like that, but use it as a teaching opportunity, I think
And if he keeps losing phones, stop buying him new ones until he does enough extra chores/responsibilities to earn the new ones.
We all coped without mobiles as kids he will as well

bp

You poor thing. Accidents do happen but people need to be careful too. How did he lose three phones? Were they stolen? Where does he bring them?

I wouldn't get him another one, or if you do just a basic cheap phone. Also don't break the bank to get the tablet fixed - actions have consequences.

I don't think I would get onto the other mother, just because he may have previously broken things in other houses that you weren't asked to pay for.

13 is old enough to understand monetary value - he needs to learn that mammy is putting a roof over his head, food on the table and getting him an education. That this all costs money.

Good luck, relax and remember the good things in life - eg son whom you love, your health etc. Go for a walk with him, something free and technology free.

Meauldsegosha

unregistered wrote: »

Perhaps I am over-reacting to this situation, but I have no money to get it fixed and I struggled really hard to get the money together for it. I'm beating myself up about not teaching him to respect stuff he owns (he has lost about 3 phones also)...

Personally I think you are over-reacting, crying over a tablet!!

Your son is 13 so let him save his pocket money to get his tablet fixed. He is old enough now to face the consequences of his actions. And if he keeps losing phones stop buying them for him.

bp

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Personally I think you are over-reacting, crying over a tablet!!

Your son is 13 so let him save his pocket money to get his tablet fixed. He is old enough now to face the consequences of his actions. And if he keeps losing phones stop buying them for him.

I think she is crying over scrimping for so long only to have it broken within two days - I am guessing the OP went without stuff she would have liked to buy it an doesn't have anything left over

LegacyUser

I have had to sell my car and he needs to get lifts too and from school most days - his school is on the route to my old job, and suited perfectly when I had the car but there is no public transport to or from the school, so he needs the phone so that I can contact him to arrange his lift etc (I haven't been able to arrange a regular lift yet).

I have no idea how he lost the phones - only one of them was a new phone - the others were my olds phones. I know that we all managed before phones as kids, but needs a phone.

I don't think I have ever been so upset at something - I keep trying to remind myself that it can be fixed, but when I think of the things I went without over the past few months, to save up to buy the tablet, I am disgusted at myself too.

I rang my bf who was supposed to drop over today - but he said he would rather not now, as he can tell the mood I'm in and would rather not get the backlash. That hasn't helped either.

LegacyUser

That's correct bp - I have exactly 3e left until I get my dole on Thursday. I am applying for jobs every day but am not having any luck.

Chattastrophe!

Unfortunately these things happen. I'd certainly be in no rush to repair or replace it. And I definitely wouldn't approach the other parents about getting money from them for it.

There's absolutely no point in going mad at him over it either - chances are, he's already beating himself up over it, and will learn his lesson!

My sister (11 at the time) was given a smart phone for Christmas last year. That same day, she dropped it on the tiled kitchen floor and it smashed to pieces. Now we were all very sympathetic with her - it was a genuine accident, and she'd been looking forward to getting this phone for months - but there was certainly no question of us replacing it immediately, nor would she have expected us to. Several months later, she got a new phone for her birthday, and she minds it like a baby - lesson learned.

If he keeps breaking/losing his things and you keep replacing them, he'll never learn. Try not to get so upset over it. It's a pity he broke it, but it was his own fault, and he'll manage without a tablet. He'll never learn to mind his things unless he realises they're not easily replaceable.

Meauldsegosha

bp wrote: »

I think she is crying over scrimping for so long only to have it broken within two days - I am guessing the OP went without stuff she would have liked to buy it an doesn't have anything left over

The OP admitted herself that she hasn't thaught her son to respect his belongings and as the old saying goes no point in crying over spilled milk. She now has an opportunity to teach her son an important life lesson.

Big Bag of Chips

You are obviously very very disappointed in him, so I would let him know that. You don't need to get angry with him. Accidents happen, especially when kids get together and a bit over excited. But you should let him know that even though you are not angry, you are very very disappointed. He's 13. Old enough to be made aware of your feelings and how his actions affect you.

Also - he's 13. He can earn his own money to fix it if he wants. He can knock around to neighbours houses and offer to do odd jobs. Wash their cars. Cut their lawns (when the weather gets better!). Clean windows etc.

As parents we do really want to do our best for our kids and we want to give them the best. But if they are not responsible enough to mind things, then the best thing you can give him is the responsibility and independence to earn things. If he has to work for something, he's more likely to appreciate it.

YellowFeather

Fair play for getting the tablet in the first place. They're expensive anyway - let alone when you are having money worries. You sound like a great mum.

It's sickening that it got broken so soon and I can completely understand your upset after all the thought and effort you put in. Probably a bit of a final straw with all that's going on.

It will get fixed eventually. And, I bet, in years to come you will bring this up and laugh. (These things get funny with time - even though it's not funny at all at the moment.) End of it all, your son didn't get broken and everything else will pass.

Right now it's upsetting. Later, it will be a pain in the backside. After that it will fade in importance.

Paddy Cow

OP I can understand you being so upset and disappointed. You saved for ages to get it and to see it broken so quickly has really hurt your feelings. Sometimes though accidents just happen and this sounds like an accident, rather than your son and his friend being deliberately careless.

I doubt given your situation that your son gets pocket money but is there any chance he could get a paper round? If not, I don't know how wide your social circle is but do you have any family friends who would be willing to give him €5 or €10 if he washed and hoovered the car?

You got him the tablet but he should pay for the damage and next time he'll be more careful.

bp

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

The OP admitted herself that she hasn't thaught her son to respect his belongings and as the old saying goes no point in crying over spilled milk. She now has an opportunity to teach her son an important life lesson.

Oh I agree, but I understand why she is upset. She just wanted to make her son happy but he is old enough to understand the value if property and it is something he must be taught. Kids cannot always be sheltered, real life happens and they need to understand that

Jonkenji

I agree with the above posters, the worst thing in the world you could do for him is get the tablet fixed or replaced. Especially if it will hit you financially. Just have a quiet word with him alone some day explaining it took you a long time to save for the tablet and you had to make some sacrifices in order to afford it, and you are a little upset at his carelessness. The message will sink in eventually and he will learn to respect his possessions in future.

LegacyUser

OP here - thank you for all the posts - they really helped earlier today when I thought I was going to blow a gasket.

I went back to the shop and it turns out that a repair could cost up to 120e - unfortunately, I couldn't afford to pay for the insurance on the day I bought it - having said that, he said the insurance might not cover the repair anyhow.

I have taken his phone and wont be getting the tablet repaired - I did get very angry with him earlier, but then realised how upset he was himself, so gradually got him to understand that I was more upset than angry.

It's been a hard day to say the least, with him apologizing all day and me still upset over the whole incident (and other things).

Thanks again.

up for anything

Remembering back to my childhood it may well have been his friend who broke it and is scared to admit it so the two of them are covering up by saying it was both of them - not that that helps you any.

Hugs for the crying. It sounds like you are crying over more than just the tablet and your son's carelessness. Your boyfriend doesn't sound very supportive and you're in a pretty stressful situation so it's probably a combination of everything that set you off.

Stavro Mueller

Have you ever had a chat with your son about how tight money is at home? I'm not suggesting that you give him the full gory details of how tough things are for you. Just enough to give him the general idea of how things are and also to understand that if something happens to a phone or a tablet, it won't be replaced straight away.

fussyonion

OP, I feel for you but you're making out like your son broke it deliberately.
It was an accident and I'm sure the child was just as upset as you were.
When I was a kid, I broke stuff and felt terrible over it but my Mam would say don't worry about it.

Don't go making your son feel worse.
It's only a tablet. It can be fixed when you can afford it.

clairefontaine

I can understand how frustrated and disappointed you are.

However, I will just add something here that may make you less angry and disappointed.

My little one was given an ipad and within two days he dropped it and the screen had a crack in it. Ok so he is younger than your little one, so perhaps more understandable.

Because I was not the one who gave it to him, I had a what do you expect attitude to begin with so I was not really angry, but the person who gave it to him felt frustrated and annoyed.

I had to point out to the person who gave it to him that he is a child and certainly you must take some responsibility here because knowing that and knowing how vulnerable to cracks they are, then it would have been a lot smarter to buy with it a screen protector and a silicon surround so that it can take a few bumps and bruises.

When the penny dropped she felt less annoyed as common sense prevailed.

So personally, I feel you are partially responsible here and your son is also partially responsible, and in your own time get it fixed, and next time get a screen protector and silicon holder.

Don't beat yourself up or him about it, this stuff happens, you invested alot and saved for ages with money you don't have and that's why it hurts so much and to be let down so soon after getting it.

Technology is a wonderful tool, but as I tell my little one every time he wants to kick the computer, technology will let you down, so don't rely on it too much.

It's a new year approaching, onwards and upwards. Chin up and maybe tell your son not to share it with his friends. It is a personal device that he is responsible for.

clairefontaine

clairefontaine wrote: »

I can understand how frustrated and disappointed you are.

However, I will just add something here that may make you less angry and disappointed.

My little one was given an ipad and within two days he dropped it and the screen had a crack in it. Ok so he is younger than your little one, so perhaps more understandable.

Because I was not the one who gave it to him, I had a what do you expect attitude to begin with so I was not really angry, but the person who gave it to him felt frustrated and annoyed.

I had to point out to the person who gave it to him that he is a child and certainly you must take some responsibility here because knowing that and knowing how vulnerable to cracks they are, then it would have been a lot smarter to buy with it a screen protector and a silicon surround so that it can take a few bumps and bruises.

When the penny dropped she felt less annoyed as common sense prevailed.

So personally, I feel you are partially responsible here and your son is also partially responsible, and in your own time get it fixed, and next time get a screen protector and silicon holder.

Don't beat yourself up or him about it, this stuff happens, you invested alot and saved for ages with money you don't have and that's why it hurts so much and to be let down so soon after getting it.

Technology is a wonderful tool, but as I tell my little one every time he wants to kick the computer, technology will let you down, so don't rely on it too much.

It's a new year approaching, onwards and upwards. Chin up and maybe tell your son not to share it with his friends. It is a personal device that he is responsible for.

The child is 13, not 3. It's not that hard to look after your stuff. My parents weren't well off when I was younger, so I absolutely treasured everything I got. I don't think I ever broke or lost anything. I know accidents do happen, but in my experience, they happen far more frequently to those who don't understand the value of what they have. My little cousins are spoiled rotten and everything they get is chipped or cracked within a week because they think 'it's grand, we can get it fixed/replaced'. I knew anything I broke would not be replaced, so nothing got broken.

I would go with the idea of getting him to earn the money to replace it. Just so he understands how long it takes to earn that money and hopefully in future he'll be more careful with technology.

Chattastrophe!

unregistered wrote: »

I have taken his phone and wont be getting the tablet repaired - I did get very angry with him earlier, but then realised how upset he was himself, so gradually got him to understand that I was more upset than angry.

I agree with not getting the tablet repaired - but I'm not sure why you've taken his phone? It's not like you need to punish him, he didn't purposely damage it, and anyways surely having damaged the tablet is punishment enough!

The learning opportunity here is to get him to learn to take better care of his things - he won't have the chance to do this if you take them off him. You need to allow him some responsibility.

Maybe give him back the phone, but have a good talk with him about minding his things ... and suggest putting away any valuables before friends come around in future!

clairefontaine

If you don't get it repaired then it's a complete waste. Maybe an IT student can do it at a reduced price?

Honestly, the lesson here is, when you break something try and fix it. I spent about 8 hours on a lego project with my little one in the past three days, in one indelicate mishandling, I destroyed the entire thing. Did I confiscate it from myself? No. I sat down again, from scratch and fixed the entire thing. It took another four hours of my time but I did it.

Can you double check the warranty?

Where did you order it from? They may have really good customer service and help you out.

clairefontaine

Mira Alive Image wrote: »

The child is 13, not 3. It's not that hard to look after your stuff. My parents weren't well off when I was younger, so I absolutely treasured everything I got. I don't think I ever broke or lost anything. I know accidents do happen, but in my experience, they happen far more frequently to those who don't understand the value of what they have. My little cousins are spoiled rotten and everything they get is chipped or cracked within a week because they think 'it's grand, we can get it fixed/replaced'. I knew anything I broke would not be replaced, so nothing got broken.

I would go with the idea of getting him to earn the money to replace it. Just so he understands how long it takes to earn that money and hopefully in future he'll be more careful with technology.

Breakage of screens happen to a lot of these products, whether the owners are 3 or 13 or 80, whether they value their things or they don't.

It is admirable that you have never broken or lost anything, but honestly I do not know of one single person in this world who has never lost or broken anything, especially tablet and ipad products, which is why you can get insurance and why you can also buy screen protectors and silicon holders for them.

I have had two laptops stolen out of my luggage and a third one my mother stepped on. These products are hot for theft and damage, has nothing to do with age or how much one values their belongings.

_Whimsical_

I think you're over reacting op. It's understandable, saving and scrimping is stressful, Christmas itself is very stressful. But take a breath and don't inflict the horror of you crying for hours on your son because he broke a gadget. It's fixable, it's not the worst that could've happened. He has to be more disappointed than you, don't teach him he has to be careful with possessions or it might drive his mum over the edge emotionally.

No doubt he didn't intend to break it, or didn't forsee the accident happening. These things happen to adults and kids a like, mostly due to sheer bad luck rather than neglicance, if you want proof read the apple and android forums.

Also you can't expect other kids to be as careful with something so delicate and valuable as he might be, and you can't expect you son to understand that you can't always hand around your new toy to show it off. I think you should have taken it away while they were over unless you were willing to supervise them while they looked at it. It's very hard for a 13 year old to do the "mammy" routine and be telling his peers to be careful and harping on about it.

I really feel if you make this a huge emotional deal for your son you will be sorry in the future. Accidents happen. A distraught parents is very frightening for a child. Take a breath, get it fixed when the two of you can, make sure he knows you are ok and he hasn't ruined Christmas or devastated you with one small accident.

clairefontaine

clairefontaine wrote: »

Breakage of screens happen to a lot of these products, whether the owners are 3 or 13 or 80, whether they value their things or they don't.

It is admirable that you have never broken or lost anything, but honestly I do not know of one single person in this world who has never lost or broken anything, especially tablet and ipad products, which is why you can get insurance and why you can also buy screen protectors and silicon holders for them.

I have had two laptops stolen out of my luggage and a third one my mother stepped on. These products are hot for theft and damage, has nothing to do with age or how much one values their belongings.

If your mother stepped on your laptop, that suggests it was on the floor and hence not in a safe place...I'm not saying the most careful people don't occasionally have a bit of bad luck, but IMO over 90% of loss/theft/breakage is easily avoided if you look after your stuff. I find it tends to be the same people who constantly lose and break stuff - it's not a coincidence. I also find that those who have the means to replace stuff tend to be a lot more careless with it, especially if someone else is paying.

I would also suggest that it's a bad idea to buy a child an extravagant gift that is such a massive financial strain. It makes no sense. My parents were never as badly off as OP seems to be and there were several Christmases that we were told we'd be getting a maximum of £20 for presents. The priority was paying for essentials and we understood that. It just seems to put the family under needless pressure to buy a delicate gift like a tablet and then worry about the kid breaking it, and crying when he does.

It makes me really sad to read stories like this and it made me sad to see posters saying OP is a great mum because she bought a tablet. Spending way more than you can afford on a gift doesn't make you a great parent. I'm sure OP is a great mum anyway and would still be a good mum if she'd given the kid a 20 euro present. He's plenty more than old enough to understand that money is tight and he might not get exactly what he wants.

Agree with the others that the financial strain and other issues are making this incident seem out of proportion. At the end of the day it's just an object and I'd take this as an opportunity to make him realise just how much hard work goes into affording these things and maybe to lower his expectations for future gifts and understand that quality time with his mum/friends is what's really important.

clairefontaine

Mira Alive Image wrote: »

If your mother stepped on your laptop, that suggests it was on the floor and hence not in a safe place...I'm not saying the most careful people don't occasionally have a bit of bad luck, but IMO over 90% of loss/theft/breakage is easily avoided if you look after your stuff. I find it tends to be the same people who constantly lose and break stuff - it's not a coincidence. I also find that those who have the means to replace stuff tend to be a lot more careless with it, especially if someone else is paying.

I would also suggest that it's a bad idea to buy a child an extravagant gift that is such a massive financial strain. It makes no sense. My parents were never as badly off as OP seems to be and there were several Christmases that we were told we'd be getting a maximum of £20 for presents. The priority was paying for essentials and we understood that. It just seems to put the family under needless pressure to buy a delicate gift like a tablet and then worry about the kid breaking it, and crying when he does.

It makes me really sad to read stories like this and it made me sad to see posters saying OP is a great mum because she bought a tablet. Spending way more than you can afford on a gift doesn't make you a great parent. I'm sure OP is a great mum anyway and would still be a good mum if she'd given the kid a 20 euro present. He's plenty more than old enough to understand that money is tight and he might not get exactly what he wants.

Agree with the others that the financial strain and other issues are making this incident seem out of proportion. At the end of the day it's just an object and I'd take this as an opportunity to make him realise just how much hard work goes into affording these things and maybe to lower his expectations for future gifts and understand that quality time with his mum/friends is what's really important.

I don't really understand what people who have a habit of breaking and losing things have to do with OP and her son and this tablet?

Nor do I understand what your upbringing has to do with the OP and what she chooses to give her son for Christmas.

clairefontaine

clairefontaine wrote: »

I don't really understand what people who have a habit of breaking and losing things have to do with OP and her son and this tablet?

Nor do I understand what your upbringing has to do with the OP and what she chooses to give her son for Christmas.

I was responding to your comment, which was implying that it's pretty much down to luck whether things get broken or not. I said I don't think it is. I think some people are careless with their stuff, whether they realise it or not.

I referred to my upbringing because my parents, rather than feel pressured to buy me the latest gadgets, explained that they couldn't afford it and told me to choose something small as a gift. I suggested that it could be an idea for the OP to do something similar, given that purchasing this tablet has let to such enormous financial sacrifice and subsequent stress, upset and anger. I said I didn't agree that buying expensive presents makes you a good parent. Being a good parent makes you a good parent. Stuff is just stuff. I suggested that it could be a good idea to focus less on fancy gifts and more on spending time with family and friends. I get that OP wanted to make her son happy with an extravagant gift but she's now broke because she couldn't really afford the gift and he's feeling awful for breaking it so perhaps fancy gifts aren't always the way to go, especially for people who are struggling financially.

I didn't think it was that hard to understand tbh.

clairefontaine

Mira Alive Image wrote: »

I was responding to your comment, which was implying that it's pretty much down to luck whether things get broken or not. I said I don't think it is. I think some people are careless with their stuff, whether they realise it or not.

I referred to my upbringing because my parents, rather than feel pressured to buy me the latest gadgets, explained that they couldn't afford it and told me to choose something small as a gift. I suggested that it could be an idea for the OP to do something similar, given that purchasing this tablet has let to such enormous financial sacrifice and subsequent stress, upset and anger. I said I didn't agree that buying expensive presents makes you a good parent. Being a good parent makes you a good parent. Stuff is just stuff. I suggested that it could be a good idea to focus less on fancy gifts and more on spending time with family and friends. I get that OP wanted to make her son happy with an extravagant gift but she's now broke because she couldn't really afford the gift and he's feeling awful for breaking it so perhaps fancy gifts aren't always the way to go, especially for people who are struggling financially.

I didn't think it was that hard to understand tbh.

It's not hard to understand, I was being polite.

What you said was people who have the means to replace lost or broken things tend to be careless with their goods. Obviously OP does not have the means, so how does this category of classist generalization have anything to do with the OP?

A tablet in this day and age is not a fancy gift. Junior infants classes are using iPads. It's hardly a comment on her parenting choices and it's not going to do anything to fix the tablet. And I doubt very much as a single unemployed parent she needs talking down to as to how to spend time with her child or what to buy him for Christmas.

The purchase of the tablet isn't the issue, neither is the accident if breaking it, the issue is what to do next. She feels bad...he feels bad... How to get it sorted, how to react when things don't go as planned.

ivytwine

Hey OP,

I grew up in similar circumstances as your son and I think not getting it repaired is the best move.

I think having the chat with him was a good thing. When you're 13 you don't always realise your parents have feelings and sacrifice a lot for you.

I grew up when mobile phones were a huge thing (and I'm not that old, I'm only 24!) Mam had a bit of a thing against them and she said if I wanted one I would have to save my pocket money, I got £5 a week (!) and saved and saved until I could afford this Motorola brick. I even remember putting the money into one of those capsules you got in toy machines to keep it safe!

So if your son is getting pocket money and wants the tablet repaired, why doesn't he save for it? It sounds so corny but it's such a valuable lesson. I am currently living on a very low wage and if I hadn't learned delayed gratification I'd be up to my ears in debt.

ElleEm

Mira Alive Image wrote: »

I would also suggest that it's a bad idea to buy a child an extravagant gift that is such a massive financial strain. It makes no sense.

+1

OP, there are lessons for both you AND your son in this. I get that you wanted to treat him, but you went without to buy your son something very expensive, when he really wasn't responsible enough to take care of it. I know you saved for it but your reaction shows that you really could not afford it. I just think it is insane that you would buy a child an object that leaves you so distraught when it is broken. It is disappointing, but I feel sorry for your kid in this. He is upset, but I would say the guilt he is experiencing is horrible. He does not need to be punished any more by having to console you. I can imagine his lesson has been learned.

clairefontaine wrote: »

A tablet in this day and age is not a fancy gift.

Wow, really?

I disagree with this. A tablet is an expensive gift, and I know plenty on people that would see it as "fancy" if they received one, me included!

Mick Murdock

When it comes time to repair it, make sure you shop around for a good price. I have had iPad screens replaced for less than €100 so depending on what tablet it is you may get it done considerably cheaper..

The Anroid or Apple devices forum will advise you.

I would also give him his mobile phone back.

m'lady

Definitely teach him a lesson by letting him pay with his pocket money and any money he may have been lucky to get over Christmas off people.. I agree that he needs to learn to look after his belongings and this may be what will teach him... I'd also be in agreement about giving him his phone back, I'm sure he's feeling bad enough as it is in fairness.

As for the people coming on saying it's an extravagant gift, yes it is and the OP saved hard for it, to get her son something he wanted- what is so wrong with that? Seriously she came on to vent/look for advice not get a bloody lecture.

OP I hope your feeling a bit better today, and that you have made up with your son, just remember worse things could happen.. X

Big Bag of Chips

Mira Alive Image and clairefontaine, please keep the Forum Charter in mind when replying to threads. Personal Issues is an advice forum (I feel we're like a broken record pointing it out to people!) Stick to offering advice to the OP in your posts or don't post. As we always say there is nothing wrong with having an opposing view or opinion to other posters on a situation, but dragging other posters into off-topic debate and tit-for-tat arguing contributes nothing to the advice that the OP came here looking for.

Please bear it in mind for future posts and threads.

LegacyUser

Op here.

I see this thread has taken on a life of its own!

I gave him back his phone this morning - yesterday was a dreadful day - I have had a very difficult year and I don't think the tablet was the problem at all yesterday. As i explained to him this morning, I was more upset that he wouldn't have a tablet now, because I didn't have the money to get it fixed for him! He was over the moon when he got it - he's not into technology at all, just GAA and soccer, doesn't have any console etc and isn't a spoiled child at all. The tablet was his first step into the world of having something that most of his mates got last christmas.

Unemployment is difficult - I have worked all my life and have never been in this situation and have been sinking into a depression before this happened - so I know now, the morning after, that the tablet wasn't the problem at all.

I sat him down last night and explained to him how difficult life is for me at the moment - not to worry him, but to make him more aware that he needs to become more responsible. I hadn't told him I 'lost' my job - I told him I left it to find another job, as I certainly don't want him taking on my worries. But I explained stuff a bit to him last night - I had a death in my immediate family this year also, hadn't really dealt with it as I wasn't talking to my brother when he died, so think I was angry rather than sad when he died.

It all got on top of me.

Made an appointment to chat to my GP tomorrow, it can do no harm.

thanks again.

bp

Good for you for treating him like an adult and more importantly for acknowledging the problem and seeking help. Good luck and take care of yourself, he are what he needs most in the world

Legs.Eleven

unregistered wrote: »

Op here.

I see this thread has taken on a life of its own!

I gave him back his phone this morning - yesterday was a dreadful day - I have had a very difficult year and I don't think the tablet was the problem at all yesterday. As i explained to him this morning, I was more upset that he wouldn't have a tablet now, because I didn't have the money to get it fixed for him! He was over the moon when he got it - he's not into technology at all, just GAA and soccer, doesn't have any console etc and isn't a spoiled child at all. The tablet was his first step into the world of having something that most of his mates got last christmas.

Unemployment is difficult - I have worked all my life and have never been in this situation and have been sinking into a depression before this happened - so I know now, the morning after, that the tablet wasn't the problem at all.

I sat him down last night and explained to him how difficult life is for me at the moment - not to worry him, but to make him more aware that he needs to become more responsible. I hadn't told him I 'lost' my job - I told him I left it to find another job, as I certainly don't want him taking on my worries. But I explained stuff a bit to him last night - I had a death in my immediate family this year also, hadn't really dealt with it as I wasn't talking to my brother when he died, so think I was angry rather than sad when he died.

It all got on top of me.

Made an appointment to chat to my GP tomorrow, it can do no harm.

thanks again.

You sound like a great mother and he sounds like a lovely kid. Go and see your GP. It does sound like your year is getting on top of you alright and I hope the new one is a better one for you. xx

username123

OP, don't forget to claim your tax back from the revenue seeing as you haven't worked since October.

OldBlueEyes Nidge

OP - As others have said let him save up and get it fixed. If relatives give him money when they see him make him save it to fix the screen. I broke my screen on my iphone 5 in April still haven't got it fixed.
Now it's only in the bottom corners it is annoying but I can't afford to get it fixed so I stick with it. At first it was grand but now I'm saving €5 a week and this is what your son should do.

Don't get upset over it but don't sacrafise food or paying bills to fix it.
Good luck

michael999999

OP if you put up the make and model of the tablet I'm sure someone could source a screen, at a vastly reduced price to what you would pay for it in the High street.

Then when you can afford to fix it, you'll save a few quid in the process.

Matteroffact

You sound like a very caring mother and I can understand how good you felt to be able to give your son this tablet for Christmas and to see his pleasure at getting it and then your disappointment that it has all been now taken away from him. This is one of the hard knocks of life that your son has to learn. Trying to save him from all the disappointments that will come his way is impossible for you, much as you would like him not to have to suffer. The best way for him to learn is the hard way. He won't take anything you say on board unless he experiences firsthand what you are saying, so maybe this is the best thing that ever happened He will now buck up and take more care in future and he will learn now before things get much tougher as he gets older. I sympathize with you OP because you have a heart of gold but don't get disheartened because out of this will come something better and your son will get something far more valuable in life than a tablet, he will learn something that will stand to him for the rest of his life.

Jonkenji

unregistered wrote: »

Op here.

I see this thread has taken on a life of its own!

I gave him back his phone this morning - yesterday was a dreadful day - I have had a very difficult year and I don't think the tablet was the problem at all yesterday. As i explained to him this morning, I was more upset that he wouldn't have a tablet now, because I didn't have the money to get it fixed for him! He was over the moon when he got it - he's not into technology at all, just GAA and soccer, doesn't have any console etc and isn't a spoiled child at all. The tablet was his first step into the world of having something that most of his mates got last christmas.

Unemployment is difficult - I have worked all my life and have never been in this situation and have been sinking into a depression before this happened - so I know now, the morning after, that the tablet wasn't the problem at all.

I sat him down last night and explained to him how difficult life is for me at the moment - not to worry him, but to make him more aware that he needs to become more responsible. I hadn't told him I 'lost' my job - I told him I left it to find another job, as I certainly don't want him taking on my worries. But I explained stuff a bit to him last night - I had a death in my immediate family this year also, hadn't really dealt with it as I wasn't talking to my brother when he died, so think I was angry rather than sad when he died.

It all got on top of me.

Made an appointment to chat to my GP tomorrow, it can do no harm.

thanks again.

Best of luck for 2014 OP, hope things work out for you

Chara1001

You're a great mother op,

Wishing you and you son the best for 2014!

Dave147

I'm also under a bit of pressure at the moment, but thanks OP for helping me put my problems in perspective. I hope you find a way out of this situation and are back working soon. Also fair play to you for going to visit your GP, if only more people would do that (myself included!).

Good luck.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, as you have decided to have a talk with your GP we will lock the thread now. Everybody feels overwhelmed at some stage in their lives, and what seems trivial to some can be the tipping point for others. Asking for help will never be a wasted exercise.

All the best for 2014.