singal male at 34 living at home

Kwijiboe

just to putting out a question that has been put out many times before but times are changing.....

im a single guy of 34 years who lives with parents who pays for half of everything e.g. esb, phone, fuel tv costs and many more...and I am very familiar with household devices such as hoover, iron, washing machine etc, and help out in any way I can, have full time job at the moment but the future is uncertain at best. have my own car, don't smoke, likes an odd bottle of bud. absolutely love and adore my niece and nephew and babysit from time to time.

Q. would all the positives be wiped out because of the one negative and is it a negative in 2014?


my sis has fiancé who doesn't work and isn't familiar with house hold devices that I mentioned or apparently capable(laziness) of looking after their pets or home, he spends most days watching tv and surfing net on laptop, so having your own place isn't everything.......

going into 2014 in Ireland with such job insecurity have things changed in peoples attitudes or are they still the same? would women pass up opportunity of happiness because of stigma attached to such situations? "you live with your parents you couldn't provide me with anything" without delving deeper into situation, people in this situation might say if a woman finds this a problem she's not worth the trouble.

any thoughts? especially from a woman's point of view would be appreciated and yes LH I know you know who this is....

Raminahobbin

There's so many variable factors at play here that I'd need to assess before deciding, but my first reaction would be that it would put me off a guy (assuming he has lived at home his entire life).

If I was in a situation where I was around the guy long enough to get to know him then it wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker, but it would have to change.

For me, one of the main negatives, and the FIRST thing that jumps to my mind, is the family relationships id have to get involved in. I dont have a very close relationship with my own family- we get on grand but we don't 'hang out' very often. I'd imagine someone of 34 living at home has a very close relationship with his family, and I'm socially awkward enough to dread the thoughts of regular interactions with someone elses family.

I was actually sort of in this situation with a friend- 35, male, moved back home after years living out. I stopped hanging out with him as much because I couldn't handle the family stuff.

So it's not always about money or providing or independance with every woman sometimes it's just their own awkwardness!

Chara1001

Yeh I'd have to agree op,
You don't sound like someone who's living at home because you have to but rather because you want to- and at 34, to be brutally honest, it would put me off too.
Could I ask why you haven't moved out yet?
I get that people have had to move back with their parents, (i'm one of them) but it's on an absolutely necessary and temporary basis, so i don't really understand that if you don't have to, why would you?
Leaving home makes you grow up in ways you can't always see beforehand- so you might know how to use household devices but that doesn't mean you're fully aware of life as an independent adult.
I really think you need to try it out

R.D. aka MR.D

For me, it would be a dealbreaker. i wouldn't consider being with some one who hadn't the motivation to move out of home before that age. i've lived out of home since i was 17 and my first boyfriend only moved out of home when he was 22 and it was in with me! He was clueless and the relationship eventually broke down because of that. He didn't know how to be an independent adult.

On the other hand, my best friend married a guy who was still living at home at 32. However, i'm pretty sure that's because she wanted to get married and have kids and he was eager to give her that.

LegacyUser

At 34 I would ask why have you never left home? To me and a lot of other woman that you could meet will think you lack get up and go or maturity. Also they could be think well Mammy is still doing everything for him or could be to involved in your life re girlfriends, where are you going, what time will you be back ect.

I would agree with the other posts that leaving home for a period of time is part of life.
I think it is important to do this so you can develope as a person.
Also leaving home helps you learn how to budget, get on with other people (in house shares), broadens your life experience and also helps in regards to your love life.
Also as you get to a certain age you should want to leave home and have your own life away from parents and family.

At this stage I would advise you to leave home for a while. Yes it is easy to stay at home and tell us things are not certain at the moment but at your age you have been working for a good number of years. Also leaving home could widen your circle of friends and help you meet a woman. If your living away from home you can have a relationship without your parents/family knowing about it until you are ready to tell them.

At 34 you need to decided do I still want to be single aged 40 living at home or do I want partner/children by the time I get to 40. I know several people who made life changes in various ways around your age and long term they did not regret doing this.

Taltos

OP as you have posted on this same issue before we are closing this thread, all of the advice from earlier in the year still stands - for your own sake you need to move out for the variety of reasons shared last time.

As this is the 3rd thread you have now opened on this topic I am going to ask you not to start another thread on this.

Best of luck
Taltos