Confused about friend

LegacyUser

Hey all, as the title says I'm a bit confused about one of my friends. We've known each other for 5 years, mutual friends have always joked about us getting together, yet nothing ever happened. I told her I was developing feelings for her about a year ago, but she told me she didn't feel the same. It was a bit of a let down to be honest but she went out of her way to make me feel comfortable so we've remained good friends.

A few weeks ago, it turned out we were both going to be back home so we talked about meeting up. We did, and we got along great, sitting beside each other, having a great time, and ended up going to another bar alone together. I went to get a drink and when I had come back, a guy was chatting to her, so I gave them space. She made a point of getting my attention back as soon as I say down, and he ended up leaving. I felt at the time as though I done the right thing, but the whole night she seemed happy in my company and to be honest, I haven't enjoyed someone elses company so much in a long time. So, after having a few weeks to think about it, I feel as though I may have made a mistake by not trying it on with her. At the time I felt as though I was doing the right thing and preserving a good friendship but now I'm not so sure. Should I mention I still have feelings for her? Or just leave it behind me?

beks101

i dunno, I'm not seeing many encouraging signs here that her feelings have changed about you in the past year tbh OP.

If I was out with one other mate and a guy started chatting me up, I'd make the effort to include my friend in the conversation and gently get the guy to clear off regardless of how I felt about him - because it's the proper thing to do imo. I'd consider it disrespectful to leave a friend on their tod, particularly when it was just the two of us and I hadn't seen them in ages.

I don't think you should read too much into that if I'm honest.

Was there much flirting this time? Much physical contact? Would it be usual for you to end up in a pub on your own with this girl, or do you feel it was something she was pushing for?

Stavro Mueller

Sorry OP but I don't think there's any confusion here. You told your friend that you had feelings for her but she told you she didn't feel the same. That's all you need to know.

As for what happened at the bar, my guess is that she deliberately made a point of getting your attention again so that she could get rid of the man who was chatting to her. It's not the first time a woman has done something like that to rid herself of an unwanted admirer.

You're reading far too much into things. I doubt very much she sees you as anything more than a dear friend. You're the one who's projecting and wanting it to be more. Do you not think that if she realised she had feelings for you, she'd have tested the waters by now?

Balaclava1991

xd7823 wrote: »

Hey all, as the title says I'm a bit confused about one of my friends. We've known each other for 5 years, mutual friends have always joked about us getting together, yet nothing ever happened. I told her I was developing feelings for her about a year ago, but she told me she didn't feel the same. It was a bit of a let down to be honest but she went out of her way to make me feel comfortable so we've remained good friends.

A few weeks ago, it turned out we were both going to be back home so we talked about meeting up. We did, and we got along great, sitting beside each other, having a great time, and ended up going to another bar alone together. I went to get a drink and when I had come back, a guy was chatting to her, so I gave them space. She made a point of getting my attention back as soon as I say down, and he ended up leaving. I felt at the time as though I done the right thing, but the whole night she seemed happy in my company and to be honest, I haven't enjoyed someone elses company so much in a long time. So, after having a few weeks to think about it, I feel as though I may have made a mistake by not trying it on with her. At the time I felt as though I was doing the right thing and preserving a good friendship but now I'm not so sure. Should I mention I still have feelings for her? Or just leave it behind me?

Stop following her around like a love sick puppy, cut the "friends" BS and meet someone else.

CaraMay

You have mentioned you have feelings for her but she wasn't intrrested. As you have continued to be friends the girl so she now thinks you got over it and don't see her they way anymore. There really is no point saying anything as she already gave you her answer.

Obviously you can't be her friend and move on so it's decision time - continue to be he friend and pine for her or move on and meet someone who reciprocates your feelings.

Matteroffact

You told her how you feel and she told you she didn't feel the same so the ball is now in her court if she has changed her mind. There is no way she can expect you to make the first move, and I would not do it. That's all there is to it.










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chefwes

Dude it sounds like ya got friendZoned a fair bit , try meeting Some one else and who knows she might be jealous and give you a shot