Spark is gone

Sarah92x

when i first started going out with my boyfriend it was great, we were so happy together. We missed each other when we were not together, but after going out two years we decided to move in with each other as i was pregnant. That was fine we got along great and didn't mind living with each other. When i had the baby it was great, we couldn't be happier but after a month with the non sleepless night we started to fight allot and just be at each other. we got to the stage were if one was upset the other would not care. One night we sat down and talked and everything was fine, it was great, things were starting to come back to normal.
But now my child is 18months and is now sleeping great for me. But my boyfriend and I are not so great, we both sat down loads of times trying to talk it threw and see what we can change to make things better between us. We will last 2-7 days without having a fight and it could be over the smallest things. the spark between us is gone, but i do still love him but at the same time i don't want to live the rest of my life like this and also i don't want my child to be separated from her mammy and daddy, and i don't want to bring her up seen her mammy and daddy fighting all the time.
I try my best to make it work, like going over to cuddle him while watching a movie but he pushes me away or when he is upset i try talk to him in a cam way but he hates when i talk to him in a cam way because he thinks am talking to him like a child. But really I just want to no why he is upset and how can I help him. I am even organising a night away for us and he wants to cancle that. Am trying very hard to make this relationship work but i just don't know what to do any more

Merkin

Have you considered couples counselling? If you both want the relationship to work but suffer from poor communication then counselling could be the solution.

Frank Black

Having a baby can be a strain on a relationship and it obviously changes things. A couple need to make time for each other too which can be hard.
It sounds like you're making all the effort, but it can't just be down to you, your partner needs to make the effort too.

You probably need to explain to him calmly that if he wants to make this relationship work he can't continue acting the way he is now and will need to change his behaviour.
If the relationship is important to him, he will.

beertons

Do you have date nights? Get a babysitter and go out for dinner. Yee. Might need alone time.

LegacyUser

Oh im sorry you are having this problem,,i think if your trying to chat to him and he pushes you away it could be that he is just fed up makeing up for it to explode a week later your together a while now so I think its worth keeping that date nite away and spend the time in the hotel with a meal and a few drinks a quite romantic nite where both of you have peace and quite with no distractions and try relax together with no talk of ur relationship try just general chat try be mates again first that will help the next step to disgussing ur relationship imoo

Victoria Fortescue

You need to ask him straight if he wants the relationship to work out or not, because as things stand, you are unhappy. In order for you both to make a proper go of things then couples counselling and date nights you should both agree to.

I have children myself, and I can understand that having a baby can take the wind out of the sails in a relationship. Some say a baby can make or break the relationship. But it is a time when you both have to work hard to hold it together in order to cope with the changes that come with them. You do need to get on top of this problem before its too late.

Forget speaking calmly, start with frank and honest straight talking, and go from there.