How to meet new people

LegacyUser

so I'm 23 and I'm alone.
I've realised that time isn't slowing down, and life is too short to be spent without a somebody.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm gay but I haven't told anyone bar 2 close friends.
My reason for posting is that I've been trying to meet new people in the midlands and tbh I really don't know what to do. I've tried gaydar and other websites but it always ends up being people wwaaaayyyyy beyond my age bracket, or people looking for NSA./dirty Skype calls/talking about naughty things.

I don't want to do the one nighter or the dirty Skype call but thats all thats happening (Skype, not NSA) and it really makes me uncomfortable putting a simple face picture on the internet knowing that it could be used for another purpose, or that I could be recognised from it by say a family member/cousin/somebody who'd mention it to family or something (which defeats the purpose of internet 'dating').

Am I being paranoid or going about things completely backwards?
Are there any social groups or meets in the midlands for twentiesomethings like the boards.ie drinks that happen very now and again, have to rely on public transport which is a pain)

Pai Mei

Hey OP, I can relate to your post. I'm 19 and living in Offaly and I've no experience with other LGBT groups within the Midlands. I haven't tried internet sites like you have simply for the reasons that you have mentioned above. I really don't like the thought of hooking up with guys for a one night stand simply cause I could, so I avoid those sites like the plague. The only experience with an LGBT group is the society in University that I'm going to. But to be honest I gave up on that after a while because it wasn't really my thing.
Unfortunately I couldn't name a single group out there especially for LGBT people in the Midlands. I do hope that you do find something soon though.
As regards having not coming out I think you should focus on that first. Acceptance and coming out is more important than finding somebody, that will come in time. After coming out you won't be so nervous about using internet dating sites and eventually you will find someone for you, it just takes time

qweerty

Hey!! Four months ago, I was closeted and, in hindsight, still hadn't come to terms with my sexuality. I went on a dating site (Only Lads) to just explore. I found that not everyone is looking for NSA. Even if it's just to text chat, it is soo helpful to interact with people who just accept what you are. Four months later, I'm still closeted (!!), but I'm a lot more comfortable in myself.

My lesson from the experience is that you shouldn't predict how you'll feel before experiencing. Before I went on, I didn't like camp-acting guys, hated the idea of a relationship with a guy, and was a little turned-off by penetrative male sex. All that's changed! I've had my heart broken twice and wasted hundreds of hours on the site, but I'm in a much better place now than I was back then.

23andalone

23andalone wrote: »

Are there any social groups or meets in the midlands for twentiesomethings like the boards.ie drinks that happen very now and again, have to rely on public transport which is a pain)

Isnt there a few gay walking clubs that occasionally make trips to the midlands? While they style themselves as gay clubs they also accept straight membership - but the memberships are predominantly gay really.

A lot of them are based in Dublin of course but their trips go further afield, as are some of their members. But I am sure there are chapters all over the country and perhaps contacting the Dublin ones will result in recommendations for other ones. You could even start your own.

The best way in life to meet people is, as always, to find the things you actually enjoy doing yourself and simply engage in social versions of it. In this way you meet people - gay and straight - all the time.

In other words the best way to meet people is not to explore ways to meet people - but explore ways to explore yourself and extend yourself - and meeting people just happens along the way.