should i text or maybe call now?

LegacyUser

I had an issue at my house and needed to call for assistance. My neighbour was having same issue and put in a call too. One of the engineers asked for my mobile phone number to check with me if all was okay in a few days cos cause of intermittant problem was not apparent and solution still not final. All grand since but he did call two days after visit, polite chatty call on subject in question. I played call straight and was friendly and chatted about issue in house, thanked him for his call which was grand and I appreciated. I kinda hoped it was maybe an excuse to ask me out or something cos got on well with him and yeah fancied him. That was a few days ago and I wondered if I might just send a two line text that all is still ok etc in the hope that he might phone me again..... No Im not a desperate stalker type thats why I wanted to check with a few boardsies to see if they would chance it either?

Will I text or call?

anmhi02

heresthething wrote: »

I had an issue at my house and needed to call for assistance. My neighbour was having same issue and put in a call too. One of the engineers asked for my mobile phone number to check with me if all was okay in a few days cos cause of intermittant problem was not apparent and solution still not final. All grand since but he did call two days after visit, polite chatty call on subject in question. I played call
straight and was friendly and chatted about issue in house, thanked him for his call which was grand and I appreciated. I kinda hoped it was maybe an excuse to ask me out or something cos got on well with him and yeah fancied him. That was a few days ago and I wondered if I might just send a two line text that all is still ok etc in the hope that he might phone me again..... No Im not a desperate stalker type thats why I wanted to check with a few boardsies to see if they would chance it either?

Will I text or call?

Hi there, if I was you I personally wouldn't. seems to me he was just doing his job and following it up. I think if he wanted more he may have given you some idea when he was talking to you.
But that's just my opinion :-)

LegacyUser

Agree fully. Friend said same. I just wondered cos it was from personal mobile and these engineers a v busy and would have expected call to be routed through call centre, usually they block their numbers when calling customers. Call was chatty & lasted over 5 mins. ah sure he has my number if it was an excuse to test water with me. Ill not get in touch for sure. Thanks for reply

nikpmup

I'd have to say the opposite! Send him a text along the lines of "hi there, this is xxx again - just wanted to thank you for the work you did and the follow up call, it was much appreciated. I don't know if you'd be interested, but I'd like to buy you a Christmas drink If not, no worries, thanks again" If he's interested he'll reply, if he's not then you've lost nothing!

You only get one life and you need to grab it by the short and curlies IMO!

LegacyUser

I know sometimes you have to take a chance.... I was going to just send an easy going small message dont know if I can put in the thank you drink invite. Feel like a big ejitt. I did really like him.... Ah I suppose there is a case for and against and just have to trust my instinct. If I do text it will be a thank you text but with a jokey footnote. So if he replies well and good and if not and I have to call that service with quite a serious supply problem to our houses again I will not be too morto if the same crew of lads arrive.

GreeBo

+1
What's the worse that can happen?

nikpmup

Just showed my boyf this thread for a mans perspective - he said absolutely you should text him, nothing ventured, nothing gained. He also pointed out that he may be interested, but won't make the first move because he's shy or can't read the OP's signals/doesn't know if she's interested. He added that a woman asking a man out is totally okay, and very flattering Go for it OP

Matteroffact

No, I would not contact him. He has the perfect excuse to contact you if he wants to but if all is okay you don't have any excuse. That's just my opinion. This man could be married or in a relationship and you need to find out more about him before you dive in.

nikpmup

Matteroffact wrote: »

No, I would not contact him. He has the perfect excuse to contact you if he wants to but if all is okay you don't have any excuse. That's just my opinion. This man could be married or in a relationship and you need to find out more about him before you dive in.

All true, but if he's married/in a relationship/not interested he'll just turn down the offer. If he is in a relationship and takes the op up, well, that's another thread! But offering to buy someone a drink is fairly innocent, you don't try you don't get!

CaraMay

Ah you know what feck it. Life is short. Ask him out. Good luck

Chara1001

Go for it Op, best of luck:)

Rooting for ya!

Merkin

I'd text him, you've nothing to lose! Good luck

LegacyUser

Ah sure Ill send a wee text on Mon if that prompts him to contact great. If it did happen & we meet up & he is with someone I would suss quick enough. Thanks for taking time to reply everyone. I will post back & let ye know

ElleEm

Go for it, OP! If it all goes awry, you won't have to see him again anyway!
A very similar thing happened to a friend of mine with a lad who did some work in her house. After many "will I, won't I?!" chats, she got herself all wound up about him, I reckon even had herself married off to him in her head, before she stalked his Facebook page to find out he had a girlfriend. There would have been less of a tizzy if she had just been out straight with him from the start!

kiva989

I would text him. Prehaps he couldn't ask you out because it would be umprofessional what you being his customer.

But nothing wrong with you asking him. Maybe the follow up call was a way to let you get his phone number to make the first move....

Matteroffact

I just think you will feel worse if you ask him out and he declines. I would not do it. What you could do is contact him and ask him to come and check your house again and then ask him a few more questions about himself before you take the plunge.

GreeBo

You will regret the things you dont do far more than the things you do.

If he says no, in a years time you wont even remember.
If you dont ask you will never know what could have happened.

If it was me in your shoes, I'd like to think I had the balls to risk it and find out.

LegacyUser

I text mid morning, friendly thanks again etc but didnt put invite for drink. Got a text back there this evening... Just a 'thats great glad to help have great Christmas'. Sooooo guess Ill leave it there now cos he knows I kept his number & text without any real need to etc. Glad I did that though thanks all for thoughts & encouragement.

CaraMay

Aghhhhh you should have asked him.

nikpmup

TOTALLY should have asked him! It's not too late : "this is a bit cheeky, but would you fancy going for a drink sometime?! If not, no problem, happy Christmas!" Nothing ventured, nothing gained!!

CaraMay

Or just reply 'you too and if you fancy heading out for a drink over xmas, give me a buzz'...

Do it

Pawwed Rig

Do it! Nothing ventured nothing gained.

More women should take control of their lives by getting the guy they want rather than the traditional passive role of waiting around.
If he says no then no harm done. But if you don't ask you'll never know.

taytobreath

heresthething wrote: »

I text mid morning, friendly thanks again etc but didnt put invite for drink. Got a text back there this evening... Just a 'thats great glad to help have great Christmas'. Sooooo guess Ill leave it there now cos he knows I kept his number & text without any real need to etc. Glad I did that though thanks all for thoughts & encouragement.

yes you are correct to leave it, you texted him to see if you could initiate a text conversation and it didn't happen, he may already be in a relationship or something else, but you took the right course of action.

plenty more fish in the sea. good luck

Matteroffact

You have done enough now OP. Stop right there. It is easy for people on this site to egg you on but not so easy to deal with the rejection if this guy replies awkwardly that he is in a relationship. He had the opportunity to say he would come back to your house to check things out in a few days but he didn't say it, so forget about him. There are plenty more nice guys out there.

CaraMay

Matteroffact wrote: »

You have done enough now OP. Stop right there. It is easy for people on this site to egg you on but not so easy to deal with the rejection if this guy replies awkwardly that he is in a relationship. He had the opportunity to say he would come back to your house to check things out in a few days but he didn't say it, so forget about him. There are plenty more nice guys out there.

The worst that can happen is that he replies over text to say no. That's not a big deal at the end of the day. Obviously there could be a small sense of disappointment but why rejection? It's not like he didn't show up at the altar!?!?!?

McSween

I used to do work by valuing houses a few years ago. Also house sale viewings. I showed one to a mother and daughter but the daughter ended up buying elsewhere. She asked me to do the valuation and I did. I was always of the view that I could not cross the line but I knew her to see from being in the same school for a year 10 years previously or so. I sent her a text on a night out regarding a silly joke we had had during the house viewings etc ended up seeing each other for a very short period but that's how it was done.

December2012

heresthething wrote: »

Sooooo guess Ill leave it there now cos he knows I kept his number & text without any real need to etc.

But..... What will he do with that information? It's not like he now knows you're interested in him - he's not psychic.

You've done nothing other than be a polite customer.

If you want it to go further you have to take it further.

And if you're not willing to go further, then it would seem like you don't want it to.

GreeBo

whatever you are going to do, do it now.
Either delete the number and forget it or txt him and be blunt. He is a guy remember, you have to lay it on the line in plain English...and then break it down a little more.

amdublin

I absolutely would not text again.

Fair play I think you did the right thing and made the right moves by sending the text you did. If he was interested you would have not something completely different back. He has texted in a completely work related way.

move on to the next great fella now! With your head held high - nice classy text sent. Nothing ventured nothing gained. But nothing lost either! If you send any more you will not feel good after it when he says no.

Mr. Incognito

I find it amazing to see all the girls and guys replies.

The girls are so ingrained in letting him make the first move and think that her initiating contact is making that move.

WRONG.

He is a guy, in a professional environment. Unless she texts him in a non professional / customer way then he will never EVER contemplate that she fancies him.

When dealing with guys unless you explain it BLUNTLY it will never be received.

Text him and ask for a drink. Either he will say yes or no.

If he says no it will be forgotten in two days.

GROW A PAIR

amdublin

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

If he says no it will be forgotten in two days.

No it won't.

And you are giving men way too little credit. If he was a single man, interested in this lady he would have given a little (in fact a lot) more back. Men do flirting like it's nobody's business these days - text/facebook/internet dating.

OP - fair play, you did what you said you would do. And did it with style and dignity. You will lose this (dignity) if you text again.

Mr. Incognito

amdublin wrote: »

No it won't.

And you are giving men way too little credit. If he was a single man, interested in this lady he would have given a little (in fact a lot) more back. Men do flirting like it's nobody's business these days - text/facebook/internet dating.

OP - fair play, you did what you said you would do. And did it with style and dignity. You will lose this if you text again.

He was at WORK, not online. He says the wrong thing to a customer and customer complains =goodbye Job.

Lose this?? Is it a game?? If winning is seeing this guy again or going on a date with him not texting him will result in her not getting what she wants. Ergo Losing. You seem to be caught up in some fictional sexual power struggle ignoring the facts here.

amdublin

Yep you are right this is not a game. This is a REAL person who is considering whether to text again or not.
And I am looking at the facts to date.
And based on these facts I am considering how the op will feel if (likely) the fella texts back with a no.

OP - what's your gut telling you?

amdublin

Ps. I have edited my post. When I said "lose this" I meant dignity. Not any "game".

December2012

For the record I'm a female!

I am of the opinion that if you want something you should go for it. There should be less "game playing" and invisible tests in these situations.

If a client of mine texted or emailed me about some work I had done for them all I would take from it is that they were happy with the professional job. It is not an invitation for me, as the professional, to do anything further from a personal point of view. I would be very surprised if the OP got an invitation out on a date based on what she has said she has texted so far.

That's not to say he wouldn't be interested (or indeed accept a proper date suggestion) - but in the situation described it is unlikely that a professional person would initiate anything further.

tinkerbell

OP, go for it. You've nothing to lose. Just ask him out! If he says no, well that's a pity but at least you know you tried. And if he says yes, well then great!

Pawwed Rig

amdublin wrote: »

Ps. I have edited my post. When I said "lose this" I meant dignity. Not any "game".

So if I ask someone on a date and they turn me down I have lost my dignity??
It is a minor awkwardness at worst

amdublin

Well maybe I am sensitive but it I find it hurtful being rejected.

I tend to put myself out there when the signs are right. In this case based on the facts (the text reply - nice and polite) the signs are this man is not interested in anything else. In my opinion why would you put yourself out there for rejection.

Pawwed Rig

Men do it all the time and you are right in that it can be hurtful to be rejected but to suggest you lose your dignity is a gross exageration. It is nice to see more and more ladies empowering themselves by taking an active role when chosing their dates/partners rather than passively waiting. The best results come with a little bit of risk.
This could be the Ops ideal guy and posters here want her to let him go without even trying????

amdublin

But I think she has tried. And that is where the dignity statement comes from. She has tried.
And is feeling ok now.

I think if she tries anymore, based on the text back etc, she will be rejected and is not going to feel good. And if that was me, I would feel I went too far and lost my pride/dignity (what ever you want to call it!) in the process.

carraig2

I agree with a previous poster. He was doing a job most likely work phone. If he said anything untoward and you complained he could lose his job.
He needs you to show a definite interest before he can show his.
Go for it

carraig2

amdublin wrote: »

But I think she has tried. And that is where the dignity statement comes from. She has tried.
And is feeling ok now.

I think if she tries anymore, based on the text back etc, she will be rejected and is not going to feel good. And if that was me, I would feel I went too far and lost my pride/dignity (what ever you want to call it!) in the process.

Guys ask girls out all the time. If the girl refuses have they lost their dignity. No.
Women need to lighten up about that hang up about asking a guy out

deise08

carraig2 wrote: »

Guys ask girls out all the time. If the girl refuses have they lost their dignity. No.
Women need to lighten up about that hang up about asking a guy out

Guys bounce back easier than girls.
the first guy I ever asked out laughed at me. that hurts! the second guy just blanked me. needless to say I won't be asking any guy out ever again!
The op is right to leave it where it is. He came did a job.had a bit of banter that's part and parcel of comin into someone's home. think about how many houses this guy goes to. wouldn't work if he didn't go in and get on wit people

Pawwed Rig

deise08 wrote: »

Guys bounce back easier than girls.

With respect that is nonsense and sexist. Some guys bounce back easily. Others are crushed. You cannot make such broad generalisations about 50% of the population. With your attitude you are quite happy to give up on a large proportion of guys that may be too shy to approach you and are happy to settle for the confident guys. Your ideal partner could be one of the former.

deise08

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

With respect that is nonsense and sexist. Some guys bounce back easily. Others are crushed. You cannot make such broad generalisations about 50% of the population. With your attitude you are quite happy to give up on a large proportion of guys that may be too shy to approach you and are happy to settle for the confident guys. Your ideal partner could be one of the former.

Ok, sorry I should rephrase that. guys I know bounce back easier. they get turned down and just shrug it off.
sorry didn't mean to generalize

Pawwed Rig

We are slightly off topic here but it is kind of relevant for the topic on hand but have you ever wondered where the 'all men are bastards' thinking comes from despite the fact that it is not evident in guys we all know?
The confident guys who shrug the (sometimes cruel) rejection off in their late teens and early 20's are where these issues arise. They are happy to approach multiple women with the intention of the short term goal. Because of the passive attitude of alot of women in the dating game they are solely exposed to these type of guys for many years and it is only later as they mature they meet the deeper, more considerate guys that maybe interested in more than the short term. These are the same people who make broad statements like yours above but have never lifted a finger to empower themselves by finding a partner that they like rather than one that likes them.

deise08

I was giving two examples from my experiences. I don't think all men are besterds and I pity any woman that does think that because they've obviously not had the best of experiences. I thought that by asking someone you liked was you empowering yourself. I have done that. its the responses you get that take that empowerment away. I've been corrected I should've said guys I know!

Big Bag of Chips

Ok, as this thread is now turning into a general discussion on the types of men, and women, that exist I think it's time to lock. You have had loads of advice, obviously some telling you to go for it, some telling you not. Ultimately the decision is yours.

His job entails going into people's houses, being nice to them and checking back with them later that everything is ok. Hearing from you mightn't be that out of the ordinary for him that he would read any more into it. If you want him to know what your intentions are, then you need to be clear. He's not a mind reader, and you are one of any number of customers who would ring/text him on a working day. I very often get calls from visible mobile numbers from lads couriers, delivery guys, plumbers etc... So his number being visible to you isn't that unusual.

Only you can decide if you're willing to take the chance. Some would, some wouldn't.

Thread closed.