New Relationship

LegacyUser

Hey,

I've just started a new relationship (just over a month ago) and I think its going really well. We've been on 6 dates now, two of them just last weekend and another coming up this week, so I'm taking it as a good sign!

I'm 2.5 years out of a very long relationship (10 years+) though I had a couple of short term ones since, so a little out of the game.

So I think I'm crazy about her. To the point where I'm thinking about her all the time...but I'm worried about coming on too strong and smothering her and the relationship, but I also don't want to appear like its not important to me and I'm not interested.

Following on from this, what on earth do I do about Christmas presents? Again I don't want to go over-board or worse, appear like a cheapskate.

We are both mid thirties and in good jobs, so money (thankfully) isn't really an issue...
I'm trying to think of a few small things that would have significance to us (which after 5 weeks isn't that big a list) though might be a little cheesy, rather than just spend money on something that she might have no interest in, or already have.

So, any advice, particularly from any ladies, is it better to be too interested rather than appear not interested? And likewise for presents, I'm guessing more is better than less?

Or is there no right answer here?
Cheers.

CaraMay

Don't play games with her by pretending not to be interested... Take it day by day and show her you are interested but don't swamp her. Look if she likes you, she likes you...

As for Xmas present I would buy something modest. Maybe a book she might like plus a nice scarf or something like that.

jdsk2006

Get her 2 tickets to a gig you know she be into .....she might even invite ya along!

something fishy going on

I would say take her to dinner in a nice restaurant along with a small gift.

Merkin

Aw you sound lovely! I love a bit of romance!

It's all very new but I can sense that you want to spoil her a little. Have you guys made it official? If so, then I think tickets to a gig is a great idea as it is a. something you can do together and b. marking a date in the future thereby reflecting the hope that you guys will be going strong by then.

If you're not official I would go with something just for her. What perfume does she like? I think a scent is a lovely gift but you'd have to have an idea of what she likes rather than taking a punt!

Another option is a little bit of jewelry but nothing OTT. Will you be near Dundrum? In Harvey Nichols Dublin there's a nice Thomas Sabo concession and I think their earrings are lovely. You don't have to pay an extortionate amount (maybe €80-100) but you'll get something classy and I think most girls like a bit of bling! http://shop.thomassabo.com/GB-en/sterling-silver/earrings/ov

I'm basing my ideas on the presumption that she is quite girlie so if she's not come back to us and I can give you some more ideas!

If you like her then get her something nice but don't go so overboard that it will make her feel uncomfortable if she has decided to get you just a selection box! I know it's a minefield when it is at such an early stage but I am sure you will get her something lovely. Come back if you want more ideas - I LOVE shopping!

LegacyUser

Hey,

thanks for all the replies.

I'm not looking to play games at all, I'm just worried about coming on too strong and scaring her off. To be honest I'd see her every day if I could!

It is official at this stage I guess, we have both said that we are not going to see other people.
She has indicated that she can be a little slow to express her feelings verbally, but I think if I was to honestly look at our interaction that she does like me, we hold hands and kiss etc. But of course I'm not looking at it like that all the time and freak myself out!

She isnt really a gig sort of person, at least not that I know of yet!
She does like the whole "Rat Pack" style of music, but I checked and there isnt any on until Valentines day next year, and its in bloody Scotland.

I have a big list of stupid stuff that is either a little joke between us or that I think she might like, it might be cringe-tastic though, again I guess I dont know her well enough yet.

I like the scarf idea, she loves red clothes, so will try to find a nice red scarf. I know what perfume she wears as I've told her I really like it, would that be ok to get someone, even if she has just bought a new bottle? (Maybe!)

She isnt a girlie girl, more of a power executive (not in a bad way!), so I'm a little concerned about appearing like a cheapskate, hence trying to add some emotional context to any gift.

Would a mixture of a nice scarf and some personal items (token items that have a personal touch, like a voucher for me to cook dinner) work for most women or am I in danger of missing by a mile?
Tough question without knowing her, but I dont either!

Thanks again!

CaraMay

Well I wouldn't be rushing into seeing here everyday just yet. So rather than but her the same perfume why not buy her the body cream or shower gel in that perfume range - something you know she already likes but a bit different then the scarf and maybe cinema vouchers?

I personally would think the voucher for you to cook dinner wouldn't be a great idea.

AnonMouse

Firstly, congrats on the new relationship; you seem very smitten

Personally, your situation would have me bamboozled. The fear of coming on too strong, looking like a cheap skate etc would do my head in. I think you should ask her straight out what she thinks about exchanging gifts and then go from there. This could save a lot of hassle and embarrassment for both of you.

It may seem less romantic, but in the early stages of a relationship, it might be a good idea to know where you stand in that regard.

Just my 2 cents anyway

LegacyUser

Ah yeah, I know not to see her everyday, couldn't anyway, she is a super busy person.
But we talk everyday, so that's good.

And yeah, I'm head over heels I think...feel like I'm a bloody teenager again.

The cooking thing is a bit of a running joke we have about her inviting me over to cook, so I thought the "voucher" would be a bit of fun, but maybe its too cringey.

She got me a thoughtful gift for my birthday the other day so I'm going to try to use that as a guide for price-range.

Talking to a few other girls I think the scarf is a winner, I know what colours she likes so I think that with some of the cheesey stuff should be ok...hopefully.

I guess if not I can make it up for her birthday!