Anxious, worrier

LegacyUser

I am often anxious and worry about stupid things. I know am not constantly anxious, nor is it debilitating but I think it is not normal, but is excessive and is affecting my life.
For example:
If I do or say something stupid I can't let it go. I beat myself up for hours or days over things that deep down I know are insignificant or that other people aren't bothered about. If someone beeps at me I get a terrible fright and dwell on it for days, that it was my fault, I could have caused and accident, I just can't let anything go. If I say something stupid I can't forget it even if deep down I know the person I said it to probably didn't notice. Sometimes I worry about things that didn't even happen, i.e what if someone thought I meant that, or what if I did this and didn't notice I did... and will stress for days. I really need to make some positive steps towards this. I know medical advice is not allowed and I am thinking about seeing the Doctor, which in itself stresses me out, but I wonder can anyone who felt the same share with me their story? I am thinking of going along the lines of meditation or something

LegacyUser

It sounds like getting some counselling might help - its worth talking to your GP they may be able to suggest some services. Maybe alongside meditation?

While you can't really 'fix' anxiety issues you can learn to cope and once you've got that down you may find the anxiety becomes less prominent in your life.

What you describe sounds very similar to the type of anxiety I experience and to be honest it still hits me pretty hard some times. Through counselling I was able work out coping mechanisms. For me being able to talk is quite important as a lot of my anxiety is wrapped up in how people must be perceiving me. In counselling I learnt how to communicate with people in a way that makes it less daunting to address the issues causing the anxiety. I also learnt how to deal with an oncoming panic attack and thankfully I haven't had a full blown one in years.

I know it's tough, but it's great that you're reaching out here.

GreeBo

Definitely talk to someone in a professional manner. From experience, these things don't solve themselves and can spiral.

It's perfectly normal to go through ups and downs, sometimes we get stuck in the downs and need help to get out.

Don't let fear of getting help put you off getting it, these people exist fit exactly this reason, you wouldn't be embarrassed about seeing a doctor about a pain that didn't go away, this is the same exact thing.

All the best.

*eadaoin

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the best treatments for your kind of anxious thoughts. It will help you look at how you think and give you exercises to change it, and give you the tools to get out of those negative cycles. You can look up a therapist yourself or else ask your doctor about it, I really recommend it.

Meditation is great for your mental health, it will help you to remain calm and has a beneficial effect on stress levels. When you're anxious it's your sympathetic nervous system that's in control, the fight or flight response - but meditation activates the parasympathetic nervous system which will help you relax again and be better prepared for life's stresses. It's a great stress management tool, well worth learning about.

Getting out for a bit of exercise a couple of times a week will also be helpful. It will basically get natural chemicals flowing in your body and brain that will lift your mood and help you cope better. Plus, while you're focused on pushing your body in exercise it's almost impossible to be anxious.

Make sure that you're eating and drinking enough, don't skip meals. Eat to feed your body & mind - this doesn't mean being super healthy, but just take care of yourself. Make sure you're avoiding anything that will add to stress levels like caffeine or excess sugar.

Talk to your doc, it's a good idea. But the CBT, meditation, exercise and lifestyle measures are all good ways to get yourself healthy in body and mind again

simonsays1

CBT

I got a CBT DIY book in the library and ended up buying it! It's brill! I've learned a few techniques I use when I need to

CBT sessions are excellent too.

The Art of Happiness deals with worry and anxiety which I found v useful!

Best of luck

allandanyways

Hi OP,

I've been in the same situation as you for the last 15 years, and it's exhausting being so worried all the time. I really feel for you.

I went to counselling during the summer and found it a big help - just identifying why I was worrying about insignificant things and caring so much about non important things. One to One counselling is probably best for the first step, but I also attend an Aware group counselling during the week and this is brilliant for getting stuff off your chest and is also free! You can find out the closest one to you on their website www.aware.ie

I would recommend a visit to your doctor, and they may be able to give you something for the anxiety and that does help in the short term but counselling really is the way forward to get the anxiety under control permanently.

For practical day to day advice, I would recommend a mantra which has served me well over the last few months - "Will this matter in 5 years? Will this even matter in 2 weeks?" and that has helped me ease a lot of my irrational anxiety.

It doesn't go away, but being able to control the anxiety is the most important thing and with the right kind of support, this can be done.

I mean this from the bottom of my heart - taking steps to get help is the hardest part. I completely understand what you're saying about feeling silly asking for help but doctors are seeing more and more of this every day. I broke down crying (I was actually in hysterics, highly embarrassing as my doc is really hot!:o) trying to explain how I was feeling when I first went and they were so understanding.

Good luck OP - I hope you manage to control this and move on in your life x

diograis

I suffer from anxiety from time to time as well, I went to see a counsellor. They waffle on a bit but she really helped. Give it a go you've nothing to lose best of luck