Feel let down by family

LegacyUser

Ok so it was my 30th birthday recently and it was like no one even remembered. I know I shouldn't have expected anything because if I wanted something to be done for it I should have organised it myself.

I would have liked to go for dinner with my family but nothing happened it wasn't even mentioned to me and I didn't feel right that I would have to ask myself. I didn't want a big party I'm not like that but I would have thought that maybe just once they would have done something for me. I do a lot for them I really do I'm always there.

I just feel sad I don't want to but I can't help it. I know I shouldn't let anything or anyone dertermine my own happeniness.

I feel like saying it to them but I don't know if I should. I really don't feel appreciated.

Has anyone any advice? Am I being stupid?

username123

I have often found that we can get terribly disappointed by our own expectations of other people (family and friends both).

Its not unreasonable to think your own family would remember and mark your birthday some way, but I dont know your family, their past behaviour and history - perhaps they are not people who bother much with birthdays? Only you know that.

You should, of course, feel free to say it to them that you felt let down - but again, if they dont bother much with birthdays they may be surprised that you felt let down.

But you should certainly air any issues you have rather than let them fester, just have a think about what you expect to come from saying it to them and dont set yourself up for more disappointment - in short, manage your own expectations.

Ande1975

Op,

Its very hard to answer the question without asking for some more details. Do you have siblings? Are their birthday's celebrated? Did your parents give you a gift?

Was there any talk of your birthday leading up to it? Do you go out of your way to rally your family to celebrate their birthdays?

Is it possible they couldn't afford to take you out for a meal? Would a family dinner at home with cake have done?

Its really hard to say if you are being unreasonable or not without more facts. Sorry

Merkin

I think people often organize their own party for such events don't they? I organized a party for my own 30th and most people I know do the same. If you want to mark a milestone people tend more often than not to organize it themselves so that they can choose what to do and who to invite. So I'd say if you wanted to mark the occasion that you should have organized something.

VeryVexed

Happy Birthday OP xx

AmberAmber

happy Birthday Girl !!
some times you got to go out there and just do stuff for your self !!

its not always easy take the step but why not organise a family dinner out later in January just to break the winter and to celebrate every one in the family birthdays ?