Help!!!

iggy67

Just looking for a little advice...it's day one on here for me so be gentle lol!
Have had 3 great dates with a guy I reeeeally like. Last night went to see a movie which was disappointing tbh but had a coffee afterwards and drive home together...all good.
He was rushing to work and the actual goodbye was a bit hurried and felt uncomfortable to me anyway.
I said something vague like see you next time and something about "soon" but he was a bit distant. Can't put my finger on why exactly but I felt unhappy.
After date 2 we'd said goodby and made definite plans to meet again. We both said we'd text and he said twice it was a great night. Nothing like that at all yesterday.
Anyway I txt'd him later last night saying I'd had fun and hoped he had too despite the movie etc....I asked if he was free to meet next wed or thurs. He replied only this aft and said would've been better if we could've had a drink last night and we will "next time".
But then he said he's busy this week except maybe sat, but he's not sure...he'll txt me later.
Immediately I felt that's that so, he's blown me out!!!
Anyone got any thoughts or advice, have I been let down gently? I'm trying to be cool but I'm very near to tears....

Btw I replied a couple hrs later saying "no prob, just thought I'd ask, hope you didn't mind..." got no reply.

CaraMay

Why did you say 'hope you didn't mind'? This reeks of needy and over invested.

He said Saturday was probably a runner so sit back and see if he makes it happen. If not, then you need to worry but not til then.

Tasden

Sometimes when you've been on a couple dates its easier to be a bit more casual about things, almost like its a given. Maybe not if you feel "off" about it though.

Don't apologise for asking him to meet up though! If he's not keen its his loss and you can move on! I'd say give it a week or two and if he isn't making any effort to even make plans then leave it. Keep in mind it is a busy time of year so people may not know when they will be free.

Meauldsegosha

I think you are overthinking it too much. It's the week before Christmas, most people are busy next week. Relax, enjoy the festive season and go with the flow.

iggy67

CaraMay wrote: »

Why did you say 'hope you didn't mind'? This reeks of needy and over invested.

He said Saturday was probably a runner so sit back and see if he makes it happen. If not, then you need to worry but not til then.

Not sure why I said it tbh...pretty silly eh? I suppose I was hoping he'd reply and say of course he didnt mind, he was glad I'd asked or something...as if!
Reality is I am over invested I have to admit it, can't shake the feeling I've been let down gently
One more question, I generally see him (in passing) at work couple times during week, should I avoid his place this wk? Would be very awkward I think....

Meauldsegosha

iggy67 wrote: »

Not sure why I said it tbh...pretty silly eh? I suppose I was hoping he'd reply and say of course he didnt mind, he was glad I'd asked or something...as if!
Reality is I am over invested I have to admit it, can't shake the feeling I've been let down gently
One more question, I generally see him (in passing) at work couple times during week, should I avoid his place this wk? Would be very awkward I think....

I don't see why you would avoid his work place. There is no reason for it to be awkward. You only think it is awkward because you are overthinking the whole situation.

iggy67

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I don't see why you would avoid his work place. There is no reason for it to be awkward. You only think it is awkward because you are overthinking the whole situation.

You're right, I'll keep it as casual and usual as possible, see what happens.
Suppose it goes without saying I don't txt him again in meantime?? I'm sooo impatient x

CaraMay

I would not text him and on top of that I wouldn't pass by his work unless absolutely necessary.

iggy67

CaraMay wrote: »

I would not text him and on top of that I wouldn't pass by his work unless absolutely necessary.

He works in a coffee shop that I go to every day, sometimes several times (it's where we met).
I could avoid it, I mean its not the only place to buy coffee but its my normal pattern. Sometimes he's there, sometimes not.
I won't txt him anyway...nothing more i can say anyway.
Just wondering what you think "all the best" means at end of his text? First time he's ever said that.

CaraMay

Stop analysing and get in with your life. There is no point obsessing over every word. You will know what he wants within a week so sit back and see how it pans out.

iggy67

CaraMay wrote: »

Stop analysing and get in with your life. There is no point obsessing over every word. You will know what he wants within a week so sit back and see how it pans out.

I will but its hard not knowing....kwym about obsessing over every word and I'm honestly not doing that. Just was something very unsettling about "all the best", to me anyway

CaraMay

Ok then assume the worst and forget about him and anything nice that happens will be a bonus.

All the best does sound like a brush off to me but you won't know til the end of this week

iggy67

CaraMay wrote: »

Ok then assume the worst and forget about him and anything nice that happens will be a bonus.

All the best does sound like a brush off to me but you won't know til the end of this week

Good plan, but jeez I'll NEVER understand men lol!!!

AnonMouse

iggy67 wrote: »

Good plan, but jeez I'll NEVER understand men lol!!!

Opposite sexes will never understand each other. It is all about accepting each other

I hope it works out for you

Ickle Magoo

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Thread closed.