Ex texting a bit too much

araic88

I was going out with a guy for about 8 months. We broke up 2 months ago. I ended it as I didn't see a future for us but we ended amicably etc. He asked could we keep in touch by text or whatever. I said I wasn't sure it was a good idea & might send mixed signals to eachother etc. but he said just as friends.
It was grand for a while, texting every few days just chit chat etc but I had thought it would fizzle out but its still every other day or so. It is always he who texts first but I am not that pushed about keeping us this "chit chat". That's all it is, he has never mentioned meeting up or anything so I find it hard to know how to tell him I don't want to text like this any more

uberwolf

stop responding as often.

Meauldsegosha

Just stop replying to him.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

I'd put him straight if I were you.

Instead of him wasting both of your time/credit just something along the lines of

"I don't want to waste any more time on this, I did mention to you about mixed signals, I've moved on and you need to do the same."

araic88

Thanks for replies. I think I'd better text something like johnny electricity suggested. He hasn't seemed to notice that conversations have been quite one sided, I reply infrequently & really just answer questions ( with short answers) half heartedly without asking things in return etc.
I think il feel a bit mean texting it but needs to be done

username123

araic88 wrote: »

Thanks for replies. I think I'd better text something like johnny electricity suggested. He hasn't seemed to notice that conversations have been quite one sided, I reply infrequently & really just answer questions ( with short answers) half heartedly without asking things in return etc.
I think il feel a bit mean texting it but needs to be done

It's much meaner not to set him straight. He thinks the door is still open. Close it firmly, it'll help him move on.

CaraMay

Do set him straight but no need to be mean

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

CaraMay wrote: »

Do set him straight but no need to be mean

Nobody suggests being mean. Matter-of-fact might be the best way of describing it.

CaraMay

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

Nobody suggests being mean. Matter-of-fact might be the best way of describing it.

Telling him he needs to move on is mean in my book.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

CaraMay wrote: »

Telling him he needs to move on is mean in my book.

But it's the truth. Breakups hurt, and the truth might hurt his feelings but it's not mean to let him know where he stands.

In fact you could even argue that texting him back and keeping him guessing is mean.

wallycharlo

araic88 wrote: »

...He hasn't seemed to notice that conversations have been quite one sided...

Would be pretty hard not to notice that. What are the chances that he knows this very well, and is just texting to wreck your head? Though rather a cynical take on it, I do admit

Loughc

wallycharlo wrote: »

Would be pretty hard not to notice that. What are the chances that he knows this very well, and is just texting to wreck your head? Though rather a cynical take on it, I do admit

I doubt that. I reckon he does notice it's one sided but he's just so happy that you're replying it's giving him the encouragement to keep texting you. It's clear he's still into you.

LegacyUser

I agree with Caramay, no need to be mean to someone who you once loved/cared about. The guy obviously still cares about you and is probably lonely. Don't kick him when he's down. I think its only right to tell the truth but tell the truth without sounding like you are setting out to hurt him.

I would say "Remember I mentioned before how keeping in touch may not be a great idea? Well I think its for the best we don't actually talk/text anymore as I realise now its not healthy for either of us. Good luck in the future..". You have then said your piece and if he continues to text you you don't have to reply, he knows where he stands. I think its better because rather than putting the blame all on him, (which would probably make him feel hurt and embarrassed) ,you're telling him its best for you both if you don't speak, thus acknowledging up to that point you have also been part of keeping in touch.