Social problems

seanburn

Hi,

I just thought that I would bring up an issue that has been very much present and prevalent in my life and the older I get the more aware and self concious I am about it and that it is this and I know, and I'm trying to tell you as honestly as I know how, that since a young age of certainly around 18, I have found it very difficult to say the least to interact and build friendships with people. I wouldn't say that I am a shy person but it seems to me anyway that I have this manner or way about me that is so repellent to anyone who vaguely knows me. If I could elaborate on that for a moment; I want to say that I try to be a friendly mannerly person to everyone I meet but it doesn't matter it still happens. It's like we as people have this basic set of social characteristics and it seems to be anyway that I am missing an important characteristic in dealing with people that everyone else has. I can hear people's remarks about me and the way they look at me is like I am sort of looser. I am a male and most of this comes strangely from women if that matters. I really like your thoughts on this.

Thanks for you help.

Roselm

seanburn wrote: »

Hi,

I just thought that I would bring up an issue that has been very much present and prevalent in my life and the older I get the more aware and self concious I am about it and that it is this and I know, and I'm trying to tell you as honestly as I know how, that since a young age of certainly around 18, I have found it very difficult to say the least to interact and build friendships with people. I wouldn't say that I am a shy person but it seems to me anyway that I have this manner or way about me that is so repellent to anyone who vaguely knows me. If I could elaborate on that for a moment; I want to say that I try to be a friendly mannerly person to everyone I meet but it doesn't matter it still happens. It's like we as people have this basic set of social characteristics and it seems to be anyway that I am missing an important characteristic in dealing with people that everyone else has. I can hear people's remarks about me and the way they look at me is like I am sort of looser. I am a male and most of this comes strangely from women if that matters. I really like your thoughts on this.

Thanks for you help.

What were things like before you were 18?

seanburn

I was ok, I was, most of the people that knew me then had taken a long time to like me but they did and they liked me but now it seems now that there isn't time.

Roselm

seanburn wrote: »

I was ok, I was, most of the people that knew me then had taken a long time to like me but they did and they liked me but now it seems now that there isn't time.

You say you wouldnt call yourself shy and also that it took your friends from when you were younger a long time to get to know you?
I am guessing therefore (correct me if i am wrong) that you are not shy but also not chatty. If this is the case people will find it hard to get to know you because they cant tell what you are thinking/are interested in/your opinion so they will find it harder to chat to you because its harder to find the common ground.
Also people who are not chatty and just content in themselves and speak just when needed can come across unintentionally as cold/aloof/stuck up/bored rather than shy.
People gravitate to people who are easy to talk to.