ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE

simone000

HI EVERYBODY IM HOPING SOMEBODY COULD GIVE ME ADVICE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK I MET A GREAT INDIAN MAN 5 MONTHS AGO IM IRISH WHEN I MET HIM HE TOLD ME HE MARRIED A WOMAN TO GET A VISA SO I SAID OK THEN LAST WEEK OUT OF THE BLUE HE TEXT ME BREAKING UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE HAD TO STAY WITH THE WOMAN OR SHE WOULD LEAVE AND HE WOULD GET NO VISA I WAS SO UPSET THEN HE RANG TOLD ME HE WANTED TO CHAT HE THEN TOLD ME THE MARRAIGE WAS A LIE BUT THAT TO GET A VISA HE KNEW A POLISH GIRL WITH A BABY WITH AN IRISHpassPORT AND THAT IF HE GAVE HER MONEY ON THE KIDS BIRTHCERT THAT HE COULD STAY HERE HE TOLD ME HE ADORES ME BUT IM JUST AT A LOSS I LOVE HIM ALOT BUT THERE IS A GUT FEELING HE IS NOT BEEN HONEST PLEASE COULD SOMEBODY SHARE THERE THOUGHTS:-(

Chara1001

Oh god, just walk away and don't look back.

He's hedging his bets and will say ANYTHING

Meauldsegosha

He hasn't been honest with you from the start. First he married someone for a visa, then he wasn't married now there is a Polish woman and a baby. Walk away very quickly from this man. Delete/block his phone number, email, Facebook etc. Walk away now and don't look back.

DazMarz

Run. Run fast, run hard and don't look back.

December2012

Stay away. Let him sort his own mess out.

You don't want to be any kind of other woman.

heretochat

Good Lord, do you even need to consider this one twice? This guy has played you (and others) like a fiddle and is a USER... Run away and consider the lucky escape you have got... Do NOT have any more to do with this person..

Emme

Oh dear. I know people from India who would be disgusted with this man and what he has done. People like him make things difficult for genuine hardworking Indian people.

Some people would say to report him but I don't know about that. The less you get involved with him the better.

RUNRUNRUNRUN RUN AWAY!

Merkin

Surely this is a no brainer?

What do you mean a "gut feeling" he's not being honest, hasn't he actually admitted that he has blatantly lied to you?

There are a few gargantuan red flags here so I have no idea why you'd even consider being involved with him tbh. Tell him you want nothing more to do with him or his dodgy schemes and have his number blocked.

simone000

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

deise08

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

Oh my God. you should never feel grateful for someone to be wit you?
You deserve so much more than that! you deserve someone who sees you as an equal who enjoys you and who loves you.
a few years ago I met a guy.(somthing happened) and basically after the first night I never expected to hear anything from him again. But amazingly he still wanted to meet up and I was so grateful! that every time after I couldn't believe it and was always grateful when he would call over. took me two years to realize that it was just calling over to my house for sex! never meeting out never doin anything else just calling over for sex. You're worth so much more.

thefeatheredcat

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

You should be grateful ? What?

Op you are worth a heck of a lot more than to feel grateful that an individual is spinning you lies, using your own lack of self worth against you, completely gong in for the kill and using you! You deserve so much, much more than that!


You are being played here. Completely.

Wake up and realise you deserve better than this scammer who is using you. You've known him for 5 months, do you really believe this is it? That you love someone who has lied from the start and is willing to commit fraud ? Do you really want to walk with your eyes wide open knowing this guy plans to pay someone, to be named on a birth cert of a child so he can get a visa? Or even be pushed into marrying him to make it less complicated so he can get a visa and residency, because he can see your own lack of self esteem and your willing to settle for anything, even a scammer?

The only thing you should be doing OP is getting this creep out of your life and while giving him the boot, report him. If he doesn't use some other sob story and potential other woman as a rouse to use you to get a visa, he will prey on another woman, just like you, who doesn't believe that they deserve better and settle for some awful, unloving sham of a relationship that can only lead to heartbreak.

Merkin

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

That's nonsense and you obviously know that. You're also 34, not 94. You're a young woman. And what if you have a mild disfigurement? Plenty of people do, it doesn't make you any less attractive or loveable or WORTHY. Why would you sell yourself so very short for someone who is clearly not worthy of your time? The longer you continue to be involved with this creep, the longer you are stopping yourself from being free to meet someone amazing. This chump will leave you high and dry anyway so don't waste any more time on him, you deserve so much more.

Emme

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

You deserve better than him. He has a disfigurement in his morals which is infinitely worse than any other kind of disfigurement.

You would be better off on your own than with him.

Have you had counseling to work on your self-confidence? If not ask your GP about this. You might be able to get some counseling sessions free of charge.

heretochat

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

This comes across as your experiences being limited to very shallow people (top of the tree being this Indian guy). Of course he will be telling you that you are fantastic while he thinks you will give him what he wants..

Anyway I don't fathom how any form of disfigurement (physical) makes someone unattractive. Attractiveness is about a lot more than aesthetics and there is no way you should be grateful to anyone for being nice to you.

I guarantee this guy has sussed out your weakness and low confidence and has made his play on that.

thegreatgonzo

simone000 wrote: »

I thank u all and yes I know if my fiend told me this id tell her to walk away its justso hard part of me beleive he regrets all he done and he loves me but I am 34 with a disfigurement n my eye and feel if I walk away he is my last chance to find anybody and he accepts my disfigurement shurly that means I should b gratful really

God with that attitude you are a sitting target for users and abusers of all kinds. You need to get some help with your self esteem. First of all, 34 is young. As for the eye thing, could you be making it out to be worse than it is?
I don't know where you live but I know that there are weekly evening classes held in colleges around the country that focus on self confidence and self esteem. Your doctor might be able to help.

simone000

Thanks everybody ı lost my rıght eye due to a tumor as a baby so have to wear a plaster to cover the eye people tell me u dont notıce ıt much as my haır ıs cut to cover the eye but yes ı knowı shouldnt settle for crap from a man but ı dö because ı feel he could me my last chance of a man to accept me the way ı am,thank u all for ur advıce ı really appıcıate ıt

Emme

simone000 wrote: »

Thanks everybody ı lost my rıght eye due to a tumor as a baby so have to wear a plaster to cover the eye people tell me u dont notıce ıt much as my haır ıs cut to cover the eye but yes ı knowı shouldnt settle for crap from a man but ı dö because ı feel he could me my last chance of a man to accept me the way ı am,thank u all for ur advıce ı really appıcıate ıt

Please don't settle for crap from him or anyone else! :eek: Have you had counselling recently to help with your self-confidence? If not it would be worth seeking counselling and you might be able to get some free sessions if money is an issue.

Also I hope you keep up to date with ophthalmic advances and possible cosmetic surgical procedures which might help. If you aren't doing this already your GP might refer you to someone or the Eye and Ear Hospital might be able to point you in the right direction. A family member had an eye removed in her teens due to an infection and wore a glass eye in the site all her life. Nobody knew about it except for close family members and this was 30 years ago.

simone000

Just an update the so called girl he put name on her kids birthcert rang me told me he was her husband and that was his child he denyed it all saying she was out to ruin his life he then broke up with me a few dayr ago after we argued over this then came back told me he loved me and he was going to use a different number to ring me and that the other gal he claims he is with as to get the visa who also living with him he changed the number but it doesnt b turned of he just stoped contacting me I hate what he has done and im struggling to cope I loved him alot even after the lies but he just up and left

Merkin

What a scumbag, you've had a very lucky escape. Don't entertain him or his lies again.

Meauldsegosha

OP I know it feels like crap now but you are much better off without him. He lies so much he wouldn't know the truth if stood in front of him. He is the bad person in this not you. Delete all contact details you have for him, block his numbers if possible. Enjoy Christmas with those around you.

m'lady

Not only would I run from this horrible little man, I would also be reporting the p***k. Am sick of hearing about these marriages of conveniences to stay in the country- it's illegal and morally wrong, and a complete drain on our economy (which as we all know is in the toilet anyway!)

Emme

simone000 wrote: »

Just an update the so called girl he put name on her kids birthcert rang me told me he was her husband and that was his child he denyed it all saying she was out to ruin his life he then broke up with me a few dayr ago after we argued over this then came back told me he loved me and he was going to use a different number to ring me and that the other gal he claims he is with as to get the visa who also living with him he changed the number but it doesnt b turned of he just stoped contacting me I hate what he has done and im struggling to cope I loved him alot even after the lies but he just up and left

Consider yourself very lucky indeed. Now move on and forget him.