Getting harassed everyday by girl I seen twice.

LegacyUser

So I met a girl a few weeks ago and she approached me to go on a date. I accepted and that was that. We text eachother a few times and all seemed fine, she seemed nice and fairly intelligent.

I met her for a 2nd time, we slept together and had a great night. All again seemed ok. We were spending the day together and she starts getting incredibly needy. She would get angry if I didn't talk or pay attention to her for more than 5 minutes. She then went on a tangent about me sleeping with loads of girls on a future trip I am planning. The atmosphere was fairly frosty and I told her it wouldn't work out. She left fairly quick.

Here's when the harassment starts. She starts sending me numerous texts about how much of a bastard I was and how I wasn't to speak to her like that, that I abused her mentally and physically. She then sent me pictures of her breast, which had a bruise on it. I said to her I will be keeping a record of the texts and will report her for harassment if she doesn't stop. She made out I had done this to her. She then emails me from a fake account to say she's sorry, that it must be because I am "working class". She hasn't stopped there, she has text me numerous times over the past few days. I figured out how to block her number, then the calls start. She keeps ringing from a private number and leaving voicemails.

What the hell do I do?! I can't change my number as I've had it for years and every company I'm with or friend I have knows it.

At my wits end

Keep your calm, and keep records of everything she sends you. It sounds a bit early to be reporting to the gardaí, but have as much proof as you can get for just in case you eventually do need to, or worst case scenario, if she goes to them herself.

Neyite

I dont think its early to go to the Gardai, especially if she is starting to get ideas about faking injuries and blaming you.

Go and have a chat with a Garda in your nearest station tomorrow. Show them the texts, and ask what is the best way to handle this. Get the name/badge number of the Garda you spoke to.

At this point there is very little that can be done, but depending on the Garda, they may place a call to her/ pay a quick visit to have a quiet word, which should be enough to get her to drop the communications. This happened to someone I know who was pestering her ex along the same lines as your ex.

Or they may do nothing. But, if some weeks from now, she decides it wasn't consensual, and decides to make an allegation, you can prove that you spoke to Garda X at Y station on Z date.

Seriously consider changing your number.

R P McMurphy

What sort of phone do you have? If an android phone can block calls from private or any number easily in settings.

Don't delete any texts or voicemails and ensure you show all of these to a Gardaí as well.

SpaceTime

I would report it immediately. These things can grow into big problems if they're not dealt with early on.

Keep records of absolutely everything and do not react to anything she says or sends as you'll be handing her ammunition.

Just calmly keep notes.

Record time and date of all encounters and calls, texts and communications.

If you've a smartphone see if you can get Hullomail. It's a voicemail system that your calls are diverted to that will store them as mp3s sent to your email. Its free to use on Tesco mobile prepay and on bill pay on several networks.

Keep all texts, voice mails and emails. There are call recording apps for android too.

I would also inform your immediate friends and family about it.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Yeah preemptive report is the way to go here I think. You can never be too careful. You might as well cover yourself just in case.

whirlpool

Definitely report it immediately, simply to prevent this situation from turning messy. Nip it in the bud asap.

username123

I would go to the Guards. Definitely.

Rose35

Was in same situation some time back. it was horrendous and head wrecking the only thing that made it stop in the end was change my number as much as I didn't need the hassle of it, it was the only thing that restored peace to my life, there are some psycho's out there all right!!!

wallycharlo

I would speak to her first, and tell her in no uncertain terms that you will go to the guards if she does not cease with this behaviour, Hence she still has an out before things are getting more serious, should she wish to avail of it.

Perhaps this convinces her. If not you will need to follow through on your threat.

SpaceTime

To be perfectly honest, you're better off not to confront her or interact in anyway that provokes a response.

I've had to deal with family members in this situation before and I couldn't advise you strongly enough that you should go to the Gardaí now before it spins into something bigger.

1) Log and record everything - as outlined above. Calls, voicemails, texts, instant messages, emails etc.

2) Do not agree to meet her anywhere on your own ever.

3) Go to the Gardaí and make a complaint about her behaviour.

Stalker type behaviour is not logical and assuming that you can negotiate with a stalker is a really serious mistake. You are not dealing with someone who is thinking like a rational person. They will have an agenda to manipulate you into or keep you in some kind of a relationship and it can often defy all logic.

So, seriously just go to the Gardaí immediately and do not interact with her unnecessarily.

It's surprisingly easy to be painted as the bad guy in situations like this and you will be manipulated and basically 'trolled' if you interact. So, the best advice is to just draw a line under it and stay out of all interaction no matter what she says / does.

Not providing any response will probably cause her to get quite frustrated so be prepared for that too. However just do not provide her with anything that she can use to damage you with afterwards.

I cannot stress how important it is never, ever, ever to meet her anywhere on your own no matter what is said, promised or anything else.
You could be putting yourself in danger of being accused of something or even in physical danger of being assaulted.

jdsk2006

Total nutjob and you don't know what she's capable of so report it immediately.
There's an extended relative of my husband who has created major sh**e in the lives of two men with her false unhinged allegations - very dangerously disturbed individual who you wouldn't want to underestimate! Don't treat this lightly op

ronjo

wallycharlo wrote: »

I would speak to her first, and tell her in no uncertain terms that you will go to the guards if she does not cease with this behaviour, Hence she still has an out before things are getting more serious, should she wish to avail of it.

Perhaps this convinces her. If not you will need to follow through on your threat.

The only risk with that is that she goes to the guards first with a made up story which is possible if she is as crazy as she sounds.

SpaceTime

In the situation I know of the stalker actually did stuff like arrange to get a guy physically assaulted and assaulted him herself.

OP: Just be calm, and keep yourself safe!

These things are best nipped in the bud before they go out of control.

JillyQ

Op report her to the gardai. Do not make any form of contact with her.

Geomy

I had a similar thing happen a few year's ago, I went to the guards and they asked me her name. ..

I told the guards her name, they actually had a guy report her before. ..

The scary thing was,she was from the East Wall in Dublin, I reported her in a garda station in the west of Ireland lol

Tramps Like Us

Report it in case she decides she was raped

jellyboy

Hi op

As other posters have said go to the gardai ..
if for nothing else as a preemptive measure ..

be very clear ,that she is blaming you for a bruise that you didn't do ..
Log all texts and messages

mind yourself in this ...

Merkin

jellyboy wrote: »

Hi op

As other posters have said go to the gardai ..
if for nothing else as a preemptive measure ..

be very clear ,that she is blaming you for a bruise that you didn't do ..
Log all texts and messages

mind yourself in this ...

This sums it up. You're dealing with a person who is clearly unhinged and I'd definitely be going to the cops before she gets the chance to. I'd put money on it that she has form and is probably known to them already.

Women like her make me sick. Spurious assault claims in no way help women who have suffered a genuine assault.

For your own sake you need to record all of this officially with the cops.

Benda

Dilemmaman wrote: »

So I met a girl a few weeks ago and she approached me to go on a date. I accepted and that was that. We text eachother a few times and all seemed fine, she seemed nice and fairly intelligent.

I met her for a 2nd time, we slept together and had a great night. All again seemed ok. We were spending the day together and she starts getting incredibly needy. She would get angry if I didn't talk or pay attention to her for more than 5 minutes. She then went on a tangent about me sleeping with loads of girls on a future trip I am planning. The atmosphere was fairly frosty and I told her it wouldn't work out. She left fairly quick.

Here's when the harassment starts. She starts sending me numerous texts about how much of a bastard I was and how I wasn't to speak to her like that, that I abused her mentally and physically. She then sent me pictures of her breast, which had a bruise on it. I said to her I will be keeping a record of the texts and will report her for harassment if she doesn't stop. She made out I had done this to her. She then emails me from a fake account to say she's sorry, that it must be because I am "working class". She hasn't stopped there, she has text me numerous times over the past few days. I figured out how to block her number, then the calls start. She keeps ringing from a private number and leaving voicemails.

What the hell do I do?! I can't change my number as I've had it for years and every company I'm with or friend I have knows it.

At my wits end

It might be worth meeting her in a neutral venue such as a Starbuck to talk it out. Face to face meetings leave nothing open to misinterpretation

sadie06

Benda wrote: »

It might be worth meeting her in a neutral venue such as a Starbuck to talk it out. Face to face meetings leave nothing open to misinterpretation

Don't meet her! More ammunition for her.

Benda

sadie06 wrote: »

Don't meet her! More ammunition for her.

In a place like a Starbucks there will plenty of witnesses about and a meeting like this will sort things once and for all one way or the other

Stavro Mueller

Yes but the witnesses won't be hearing what is said. Starbucks is fine for a blind date or for breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend you think might go a bit postal.

The OP having any further contact with this woman is simply asking for trouble. The scope for things to be twisted or misinterpreted is enormous here. Seriously OP, take the advice of all the people here who have suggested you go talk to the guards. She sounds unhinged and very very dangerous.

Standman

Benda wrote: »

In a place like a Starbucks there will plenty of witnesses about and a meeting like this will sort things once and for all one way or the other

There is no reasoning with delusional people. Talking it out will make it worse. Best thing to do is what other people have outlined, cut contact, log everything, go to Guards etc.

LegacyUser

She called around to my house tonight and rang the doorbell. Going to the guards in the morning.

username123

Dilemma man again wrote: »

She called around to my house tonight and rang the doorbell. Going to the guards in the morning.

Hope you used protection when you slept with her, this one could be trying to pin a paternity on you.

Merkin

Dilemma man again wrote: »

She called around to my house tonight and rang the doorbell. Going to the guards in the morning.

Make sure you do.

Call the Gardaí and perhaps look into getting a restraining order on her.

CaraMay

Dilemma man again wrote: »

She called around to my house tonight and rang the doorbell. Going to the guards in the morning.

Did you answer the door?