Anxiety/Stranger

AlabamaWorley

A few months ago I was on the bus from the city centre to the suburbs where I live. Takes about 30-40 mins.

I was reading a man got on, sat down opposite me.

He kept staring at me, not in a way in which he may have recognised me or found me attractive.
He seemed startled or afraid (red in the face/sweating) as if I was a threatening person.
It caused me to become frightened and I froze, I wanted to move seats but I had never felt that kind of fear. He suddenly asked me what date it was the following monday.

Eventually I got to my stop, and I just ran off (I arranged to be picked up) out of fear.

I noticed he had gotten up to get off at the next stop. He must live in the area, but I became somewhat paranoid he was going to follow me or something.

Yesterday morning, I was the train station and I looked up and he was there, same thing again, staring at me, he genuinely looked freaked out, so I started shaking, unable to move, he then approached me and asked me what time it was?

I answered and then moved backwards, he then walked down the platform, so I relaxed but I could see him glancing.

I'd never felt fear like that, It's as if he was scared of me or I was doing something to startle him.

My worry now is that I'm becoming a little be freaked out by using public transport and I dont want to start becoming wary of others.

Is he the problem or what's happening? A family member suggested he may have his own issues and I just reacted in a certain way.

Did I react to him in a normal way?

Lollipops23

Very odd behaviour of his alright, and I'd probably be super uncomfortable with the staring too.

I'd hazard a guess that perhaps you reminded him of someone, maybe someone who'd died or something. That'd be one explanation.

Still really uncool of him to stare you out of it when you were clearly uncomfortable with it (as I'm sure most people would be!).

Try not to let it bother you- it's his problem, not yours.

sylvergirl

His behaviour does seem quite odd and unsettling to be fair. It certainly seems your family member may be right that he has his own issues (I wonder was he having some kind of panic attack which caused the red face & sweating?)

I would never advise anyone to go against their instinct, so if this guy scares you, then you should heed that inner voice and be cautious but you also have to be careful that this experience doesn't make you fearful of using public transport again for fear of encountering him or a similar person.

Like the old saying goes, if you fall off a bike, get straight back on it. If you give up using public transport now you risk making it into a bigger issue than it really is. Try to remain calm and deep breathe (in for 5, hold for 5, out for 5) which will fool your body into thinking it's calm even if it isn't.

Ultimately, this guy didn't do anything inappropriate other than staring. If you see him again, try not to make eye contact or sit in his eyeline.

Hope this helps!