Commute/family dilemma

Tintin8

Hi guys,

I've started a new job in cork and I'm living in Dublin. I only took the job because it's my dream job. The problem now is I'm away from my wife a few days a week.

our options are to move halfway and commute as my wife works in Dublin or should I go back to my old job and have a easier life but not the job I want.

I'm not sure if moving to cork away from family is what we want. The reality is totally different than the dream,.

What would u do?

Stheno

Will you always need to work five days a week in Cork in the office?

Tintin8

No, that's the thing. I'm away 4 days a week for 2 weeks of the month and only 3 the other days.
Another problem is the cost of been away. Diesel & accomadation

Stheno

I'm considering a potential move at the moment which would involve being away 2-4 nights a week depending on how busy it is, but it's a contract and some of the associated costs can be expensed

TBH, it really depends on what you want to achieve. If it's a long term move, then you have to consider moving somewhere more practical.

I'd also be looking at things like both of your career plans, which is more important if one is, what you want to do long term, how this job/your wifes job factors into it etc, and then make decisions on that basis.

Are you used to being at home usually? That makes a difference, with quite a few of my jobs I have regularly been away from home for periods ranging for 2-3 days to up to 18 days including weekends, so myself/my OH are "used" to it and that makes a difference too.

Tintin8

Ah you've a decision to make too. It's not easy. I am used to been home a lot more as my previous job I was working from home a lot.

I want to try it for a while so maybe we will get used to it.

Cheers for advice

Stheno

Tintin8 wrote: »

Ah you've a decision to make too. It's not easy. I am used to been home a lot more as my previous job I was working from home a lot.

I want to try it for a while so maybe we will get used to it.

Cheers for advice

If you are going to try it for a while, it may be far cheaper to rent an apartment for a few months, or a room share, rather than pay for hotels/bandbs

Also there is a very economical bus service from Dublin to Cork which might save on diesel, think it's about €15 for a return trip?

It will take time to adapt to being away from home etc.

My decision is made pretty much, once I get confirmation

Mrs OBumble

Why do you need to do anything? It's only a couple of nights a week, surely you can stick it for a year or two?

Tintin8

Ye I suppose I could stick at it. I need to give it a chance :-)

yop

Was in same setup as young, wife and child in Mayo, ended up been 4 nights away per week, hated doing it, but ended up getting it down to 2 days a week after a year as they allowed remote work.
I worked with them for 2.5 years, was hard slog but it had to be done.

theballz

Assuming when you say "dream job," their was a decent financial jump from your previous position.

Jobs come with pros & cons, this happens to have a big con but you knew that before you took it.

Surely if financially this was the right thing to do then being away from your family a few days a week (as difficult as it may be) won't be that big an issue as in the long run it's better for them.

Bandana boy

Could your wife start looking for Work in Cork ,with a plan to move their.

Many years ago ,I moved to Cork for a big role .my partner followed me down about 6 months later.
We stayed their for another 3.5 years until a very attractive role in her industry came up in Dublin. She moved back for that and by then I had enough experience in the role to secure a similar level role back in Dublin.
All in all over the 4 years I spent 12 months commuting away from my partner and they were very tough both Physically and emotionally.