Will I always be only me?

iambanksy

Recently, I've started to realise that maybe people just aren't for me.

I need people, and I love people, but my true desires are never met. I'm a young man, just out of college and starting a good new job in Dublin. My problem is that I simply cannot connect with anyone on a fundamental level. Even online, it's hard to find someone with my interests. I have a burning passion for 1-1 discussion and analysis of basically anything that is worth mentioning, be it (but not only by a mile) art, food, music, or film. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, or maybe I shouldn't be interested in what I am, but I am.

Talking to any of my friends or family (who I do love, I really really do) just makes me feel more alone. I feel bored and agitated when I have to talk about I'm a Celebrity. I don't think I'm any better than them, but I hate this sort of thing. Maybe that makes me a freak, I don't know.

I have of course considered that I am at fault, and that it's not other people. That is truly what I believe. I'm finding it so hard to change myself, eat healthy, dress well, read more, watch more film, think more, drink less, etc. I'm am trying my very best to work on myself and to love myself, and to work on my interpersonal relationships, but there seems to be no difference. I'm trying to become a man of taste and class, because I am passionate about it, and because I love it, but there seems to be no point now. The only outlet I have is my art (street art, wouldn't you know?), but I do it alone.

Are there people who are just destined to be alone?

judgefudge

Sounds like you just haven't met people with similar interests yet?

Don't think it's something dramatic like you're destined to be alone. Have you looked up groups/clubs in areas that you are interested. Like a book club? Or is it that you meet people with similar interests but you can't connect with them?

thegreatgonzo

Could you get involved with something like Dublin Contemporary? My friend was involved in that, lots of street artists etc. Or you could volunteer for First Fortnight

iambanksy

I didn't know there was such thing as Dublin Contemporary. That looks really cool, thank you. A book club might actually be a really good idea too, thank you both.

ManOfMystery

I'm not sure what your specific interests are, but there are thousands of internet forums dedicated these days to absolutely anything - and that's places where you can engage in passionate discussion with like-minded people. I'm a big fan of cars and all things automotive since I was a young age, and I use a particular forum geared for that which I find very engaging and lively.

The beauty of these forums of course is that sooner or later you will encounter others from your locale on them, and that can lead to forum discussions spilling over into real-life meetings. And that's how you form a circle of like-minded friends

thegreatgonzo

iambanksy wrote: »

I didn't know there was such thing as Dublin Contemporary. That looks really cool, thank you. A book club might actually be a really good idea too, thank you both.

I don't know if it was a one off or an on going thing but a friend of mine was involved in the organising of it and she is also involved in First Fortnight too and there is an artistic element to that. There are definitely things going on so keep looking :-)

Pawwed Rig

ManOfMystery wrote: »

The beauty of these forums of course is that sooner or later you will encounter others from your locale on them, and that can lead to forum discussions spilling over into real-life meetings. And that's how you form a circle of like-minded friends

Good advice. OP have a look around boards. There are conversations going on about every topic you can imagine with some very cool people. You can indulge your interests to the fullest.

There is nothing at all wrong with trying to improve yourself or be a gentleman of class;). Be aware that some will find it intimidating which is why it is a good idea to have a basic knowledge of some pop culture without polluting the brain too much.

Do you go to art exibitions, theatre, Art house cinema?? You will meet lots of like minded people.

December2012

And if you don't find a discussion group or society that you're interested in - start one! Maybe a thread on here if it's allowed to start discussions and share opinions. A Facebook group could be next and then meet ups.

There's nothing wrong with you, I would hate to be talking about iacgmooh too!

TwoGallants

You sound a lot like me three or four years ago. I started treating people without preconceptions, accepted that not everyone wants to analyse pressing and worthy matters with minute detail, and generally tried to see people more from their own perspective. My conclusion? Most people are absurdly wonderful in their own way. Try foreign travel for a while too, it will broaden your horizons and you're bound to bump in to people a little like you (feeling trapped and somewhat lonely, like they don't belong anywhere. Irish misfits are scattered across Europe!)