Avoiding work due to anxiety

LegacyUser

I have a big project to work on for completion in January but I found myself in such a state of anxiety over it that I'm avoiding the actual work, avoiding update meetings with supervisors. I feel as though its too late now and I can't face anyone finding out how little I have done. This is incredibly important for my career but I don't know where to go from here. I cant seem to get a handle on it. I have suffered from anxiety/depresson issues in the past.

Anybody had similar experiences?

Ah_Yeah

Can you identify why in particular you are experiencing such anxiety about this project? Is it a lack of necessary skills, too large a workload, lack of support, etc? If you can get to the root of that, then you're halfway to figuring out what to do about it and what you need to tackle.

You need to go and speak to your supervisor and explain your situation, but instead of discussing the anxiety, discuss the cause of the anxiety - why do you feel overwhelmed by this project?

It will be so much worse if you get to project deadline day and you have nothing done, and you did not inform anyone. If you reach out to supervisors or colleagues now, you may just be able to receive the support and direction you need - because right now you do need both of those to move forward with the project.

Morag

Start with going to see your dr and then your supervisor.

LegacyUser

Unfortunately my supervisors are not very approachable about this. They are the source of a lot of my anxiety as they tend to lash out and have a go at me over everything I do. I think this is where the anxiety stems from. I know deep down that I am capable of doing the work, but I have felt for a very long time that I haven't been doing well enough (mainly due to their comments, no other evidence), and although thats not really the case I have just built up all this anxiety about failing everyone that I avoid working.... thus producing more anxiety.

I will be going to see my doctor again, I just wanted to know if anyone had been through anything similar or had advice.

LegacyUser

When you've got your head in the sand, your arse is in the air... that's what my therapist said to me the other week.

Do you think that it's possible to get the task done between now and then? If so, break it down into maneagable sized tasks... don't view it as one big daunting tasks. Break it out into areas... you know all this I'm sure.

You say yourself that you know how to do it.

A lot of the time, people say things without realising the impact it can have on others. So some of their comments might just be thinking out loud.

Remember (1) it's never too late and (2) you were hired for your capabilities and given this task to do because of them.

LegacyUser

You are viewing the task as one massive entity and that's very daunting. Break it down into sections and make a plan for what you can complete by the deadline. This will make it more manageable for you. Then speak to your supervisor when you have the plan in place as this will look better than just saying you won't have it done. Best of luck with it.

Ande1975

Op,
I was in a very similar situation to you a few years back.
You need to take a step back. What is your role on the project? What are you accountable for?
Your supervisors are stakeholders on this project? They are accountable for something? You need to separate yourself from the delivery. If you need support, ask! If you are not getting what you need, escalate! If your immediate supervisor isn't giving you what you need, go to his/her boss. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. It is very difficult to do, I did it and got no thanks for it. However, I wasn't going to win and quickly realised that my supervisors were very bad managers and I was right to stick to my gut.
I went through hell and back but today I look back and realise I did the right thing and I'm in a fantastic position.
We all suffer from anxiety and depression at some point in our lives but you need to push past it. What is the worst that can happen?
You can be sure your supervisors would feel exactly the same as you.

ShowMeTheCash

Hi OP,

I had an anxiety issue going back a few year, actually it was a PTSD due to something that happened.

Granted work was not the cause of this but it did make work very difficult at the time.

Speak to your Dr/GP they usually give good advice.
Thing about Anxiety is try not to aviod things, anxiety becomes circular..
You aviod it therefore reinforicing the anxiety when it comes up..

Can i ask how old you are?

Something else, it is probably is not as important for your career as you might think...
I went through a similar kind of thing, but ultimately usually when you look back at things... career worries usually are nothing more than that, worries!

Look after yourself, end of the day... you are there to make money a company is there to make money from you..

Your health should be number 1.

It is hard to know what to do as I am not in your shoes I do not have all the information...

Do you enjoy your work? Do you actually want to work there?

Is the environment good? If not maybe you should think of leaving and doing something else or do it somewhere else....

Also can I ask the type of career?

Not doing anything and not telling anyone is not a good idea, you are leaving the company with very few outs...

Is there a HR department?

If you are hiding it simply because you think your management staff are a##h0les then again perhaps you need to rethink where you work..

emmabrighton

Hey OP, I used to go to work crying and praying that I would get hit by a car because the work was too much for me. I trusted my boss and when he asked me to do something, I figured that he was asking because he knew I should be able to do it. In the end, as a junior developer, I was working 4 peoples jobs - this only became apparent when I was hospitalized for stress and he had to hire 4 people to replace me while I was i hospital. Sometimes managers have unrealistic expectations...