25 and still single, what to do?

Iopu

I'm not out btw. So far in my life I have never had any friends that were gay. So recently I started using the dating websites, with no luck. What now? Is it likely that I will find someone in a bar?
I really want a relationship now, I might have to resort to, seeing a girl!

Rick_

Online is a way of finding someone, but it could take some time. The best way of meeting someone is by going to a gay bar and chatting to guys there.

You might be in for a surprise though if you expect to meet someone straight away and start a relationship so quickly. Sadly it doesn't happen this way so be prepared to chat to lots of guys, kiss a few frogs and play the waiting game until you meet the right guy.

Where abouts in the country are you? There may be gay groups you could join to increase your social circle and get some new gay friends hat will increase your chances of finding someone.

SPM1959

I can relate to the above. A bit older though. Had sexual encounters but feel a need for a relationship now. Think coming out is the first step for me.

ewan whose army

As someone said you can try internet dating, its good because other people on there are looking for a relationship as well. Gay bars generally cater for the people looking for a hookup, although there are people like me who like talking to people at the bar, its a nice way of meeting someone. That is how I met my boyfriend, he came over to me when I popped in for a pint and we just got along, we then ended up going to the movies and just got along so well.

25 is still young :-) I am my boyfriend's first long term relationship (>6 months) and he is 26 so don't worry

mnlad

i was only just 26 when i got my first boyfriend and relationship also my partners first relationship, were together 16months and both not out we met on grindr but for months i talked with some wasters then the one diamond comes along, its like everything when you stop looking you will find it in a way, but you do need to be proactive stop worrying about it enjoy life and when it happens it happens

lucky333

There is apps now that tell you who is in the area single(or not!) and whether there gay or straight or whatever. My friend uses it, he spends a lot of time on it meeting new ppl, he swears by it.
Anyway, your not out yet? Maybe if you were you'd find it easier to meet ppl like minded ..

Iopu

Thanks for your replies. I'm in Dublin btw. I never came out because I have never been in a relationship. My friends know though. I don't really mention it but every one knows.

ewan whose army

Iopu wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I'm in Dublin btw. I never came out because I have never been in a relationship. My friends know though. I don't really mention it but every one knows.

There is a lovely bar called The Front Lounge, nice place to have a pint. Its a friendly place, when I first moved here I went in there and got chatting to some awesome people.

ninty9er

Not alone OP, one thing you will need lots of is time though. I've chatted to a few guys online who I've every intention of getting a coffee/pint with, but when you work a combination of hours that are incompatible it can throw a spanner in the works. That would also apply if you were going to resort to seeing a woman:pac:

Dr. Shrike

Iopu wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I'm in Dublin btw. I never came out because I have never been in a relationship. My friends know though. I don't really mention it but every one knows.

So who are you afraid of finding out?

miamee

Iopu wrote: »

I'm not out btw. So far in my life I have never had any friends that were gay. So recently I started using the dating websites, with no luck. What now? Is it likely that I will find someone in a bar?
I really want a relationship now, I might have to resort to, seeing a girl!

Unfortunately it is a very small few who find someone special via online dating in the first few dates, you really have to work at it to meet some nice people. But there are definitely great people doing online dating, would you give it another chance? You do need a tough skin for it sometimes too though so if you are feeling in any way down or fragile about the whole thing, give it a while

ongarboy

I also think by expanding your social circle through making new friends, it increases the opportunities for being introduced to friends of friends and acquaintances who can potentially become special someones! This can be done through joining clubs, sports, activities or organised social groups such as Meetup.com. This is where I think meeting in the flesh overrules online or virtual flirting/courting. Real life meetings will prove if there is a chemistry and mutual attraction. With online, there often is an attempt to project a best possible image of yourself which may not always be the most accurate or objective and can lead to disappointment when a meeting is eventually organised.

Don't use your (youthful) age as a ticking clock either. I would expect most 25 year old gay guys are single which leaves more for you to choose from!:D

ewan whose army

ongarboy wrote: »

I also think by expanding your social circle through making new friends, it increases the opportunities for being introduced to friends of friends and acquaintances who can potentially become special someones! This can be done through joining clubs, sports, activities or organised social groups such as Meetup.com. This is where I think meeting in the flesh overrules online or virtual flirting/courting. Real life meetings will prove if there is a chemistry and mutual attraction. With online, there often is an attempt to project a best possible image of yourself which may not always be the most accurate or objective and can lead to disappointment when a meeting is eventually organised.

Don't use your (youthful) age as a ticking clock either. I would expect most 25 year old gay guys are single which leaves more for you to choose from!:D

x2 being single at 25 is very very common, 25 you are still a young person. I am 23 and people are surprised to find that I am in a relationship

L.Jenkins

Iopu, you're 25. Don't stress. Go out, join groups and meet new people. You'll have fun in the process and that's what life should be, a long and fun process.

Ambersky

25 and single what to do? ..Live another 25 years. But seriously your life is just beginning come out and meet people and things will gradually start to happen. There are loads of things to get involved in. Having fun, being passionate about something, really living, thats how you meet people

LegacyUser

I empathise with your sitituation, im under 35 and older than 25

I find it very difficult to find anybody . im not out and Im not into dating sites , I wouldnt dream of going out on the scene.

Im so out of touch with everything surrounding being a gay male.

My ideal way to meet someone would be to go somewhere (non-scene) and just get talking / chatting to a guy and see where it goes from there .

Is that asking too much? Do such places exist ? (Non-scene bars where "the gays go" Am I doomed to live a life without love or fun?

Any suggestions appreciated , Thanx

lyinghere

unlucky R wrote: »

I empathise with your sitituation, im under 35 and older than 25

I find it very difficult to find anybody . im not out and Im not into dating sites , I wouldnt dream of going out on the scene.

Im so out of touch with everything surrounding being a gay male.

My ideal way to meet someone would be to go somewhere (non-scene) and just get talking / chatting to a guy and see where it goes from there .

Is that asking too much? Do such places exist ? (Non-scene bars where "the gays go" Am I doomed to live a life without love or fun?

Any suggestions appreciated , Thanx

In my opinion this is a bit unrealistic. I used to think the exact same as you but the reality is that you have to branch out a bit. you said you don't like dating websites, not out, not going to to go out on scene, and are pinning your hopes down to meeting one guy in a straight bar. that is a nice idea and could happen but if you really want to meet someone i think you need to evaluate your situation and make a few changes.

this might sound a little harsh but last year i could have related exactly to what you are saying but i think i've a little bit of hindsight now to show me that limiting yourself to just meeting someone in a straight bar on a random night out when you are not out is a bit of a dead end situation in most cases.

i'm sure loads will contradict me about how they've met loads in straight bars but it is a more difficult way of going about things!