Giving a dog as a pet for someone else.

Addle

I really want to do this.
I think it's exactly what the couple I want to give a dog to need.
They're recently retired, need something to keep them busy and to give attention to, and also for security around their home.
I know they'd love a dog if they were given it.
However, when asked, they say they don't want a pet.
Should I get them one anyways?!

Thargor

No!

Pawwed Rig

Addle wrote: »

Should I get them one anyways?!

No off course not. They said they didn't want it. This is not a book or a vase you are giving them.

Addle

I know I shouldn't!

They took on a pet before they didn't want in advance and loved it so much. Were very, very sad when it passed.

They don't know what's good for them!

username123

Absolutely not!!

Never ever give someone a pet! It's a decision people need to make for themselves. Giving a pet is giving a lifetime responsibility.

I was given a goldfish as a gift once and it annoyed me that I had to now organise someone to mind the fish if I was away, or had to get home in time to feed the fish, clean the tank etc... And that's only a goldfish! A dog is a far more time consuming responsibility.

F1ngers

Addle wrote: »

However, when asked, they say they don't want a pet.

Which part of this do you not understand?

Addle

username123 wrote: »

A dog is a far more time consuming responsibility.

That's exactly what they need.

bookerboy

A German Shepherd would be a very loyal pet and also offer great Security.
They would grow to love it.

Addle

F1ngers wrote: »

Which part of this do you not understand?

I understand that they say they don't want a dog, but I really believe they need one.

Vojera

Maybe they can't afford a dog?
Maybe they don't want to go through the grieving process again?
Maybe in their retirement they're planning a nice cruise and wouldn't be able to afford it when they add kennelling fees on top?
Maybe they're planning on downsizing their home?
Maybe they haven't the patience to train another dog?
Maybe you should let THEM decide what to do with THEIR lives?
Maybe DO take no for an answer!

Whispered

Addle wrote: »

That's exactly what they need.

As an adult I would be very insulted for someone to presume to tell me what I need. Never mind if I specifically said I didn't want something and they went to do it anyway.

BetterThanThou

Definitely not, they may just not want the responsibility, of course, if you gave them a dog, they'd probably get attached to it if they decided to keep it, that's what humans do, get emotionally attached to others. But that doesn't mean they want one, it's quite time consuming, plus taking care of the dog can take a somewhat sizable chunk out of your wallet(not huge, but it can be considerable). So maybe they truly don't want one. And if someone does want a dog, they need to come face to face with the dog they're getting and make the decision after seeing the dog in person. I remember a few years ago my grandmother wanted a dog, but due to her being quite old was unable to go to a shelter and adopt one herself. So, she sent my mother to adopt one for her. My mother went and adopted a great Jack Russel terrier, very intelligent, trained, perfect for the lifestyle my grandmother was living, but she just didn't bond with him and he ended up becoming ours a few months later. So even if they did want a dog, it's not something that should be gifted, they need to make the decision themselves.

Nody

Addle wrote: »

I understand that they say they don't want a dog, but I really believe they need one.

And are you ready to be the dog carer for the next 17 years if it don't work out? Are you willing to pay for their insurance, food, and taking care of it when they need to go somewhere (for what ever reason for longer then 8h)?

If the answer is no to any of those questions you're insulting them by giving them a dog.

Addle

They say no to everything!

I won't get one without their ok, but really, a pet would be cathartic for them.

Addle

Nody wrote: »

And are you ready to be the dog carer for the next 17 years if it don't work out? Are you willing to pay for their insurance, food, and taking care of it when they need to go somewhere (for what ever reason for longer then 8h)?

Yes.

Tranceypoo

Addle wrote: »

They say no to everything!

I won't get one without their ok, but really, a pet would be cathartic for them.

Not sure why you came on here to ask the question when you've clearly made up your mind. If someone presumed they knew better than me what I wanted I'd be crossing their number out of my phone book to be honest, they've said no and as another poster said, what part of that don't you understand?

If you want a dog for yourself, fair enough, go through the correct channels and get one, but they don't want one so don't get them one and perhaps don't stick your nose into their lives and presume you know what's best for them.

fondue

I think the OP must be having a laugh to get a reaction. Why would you even consider getting someone a living thing they said they didn't want?! So strange.

username123

Addle wrote: »

That's exactly what they need.

Who are you to decide what another adult needs? Very immature.

Pumpkinseeds

Addle wrote: »

I really want to do this.
I think it's exactly what the couple I want to give a dog to need.
They're recently retired, need something to keep them busy and to give attention to, and also for security around their home.
I know they'd love a dog if they were given it.
However, when asked, they say they don't want a pet.
Should I get them one anyways?!

EVERY FRICKING CHRISTMAS:mad: The same damn thing, people thinking that an animal is a gift. Thanks to attitudes like Addle's the pounds and rescues will be even more inundated with unwanted Christmas pets come January/February.

Incidentally, there will be very few, if any rescues doing rehoming between now and late January, as they know that many of the animals rehomed now will be dumped after Christmas.

Addle

username123 wrote: »

Who are you to decide what another adult needs? Very immature.

As the only person who visits this couple, I feel bad for them. They need something. I think a dog is perfect for them. I'm just trying to help them. I don't see anything wrong with that.

CD8ED

I can't decide if addle is a troll or serious, both make me sad though.

Addle

CD8ED wrote: »

I can't decide if addle is a troll or serious, both make me sad though.

I am serious.
Really, I can't see the issue with wanting someone to have company an a preoccupation.

BabysCoffee

Addle wrote: »

As the only person who visits this couple, I feel bad for them. They need something. I think a dog is perfect for them. I'm just trying to help them. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Have a further think as to what is "perfect" for them and get that. Do not get a dog for someone who has said they do not want one.

CarrickMcJoe

Addle, why don't you get a dog, walk it, feed it, kennel it and take it round to visit this couple, but make sure you bring it home too.

sillysmiles

I understand where you are coming from. Personally I think that my bf patents (retired) would benefit from having a dog. Companionship and help keep them active etc.

HOWEVER, they do not need the extra cost. The extra responsibility. Added inflexibility in being able to go places. Additional cleaning from dog hair. Even small things like cleaning up animal poo -why would I force them to do that.

They have said no -stay out of it.

Addle

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

Addle, why don't you get a dog, walk it, feed it, kennel it and take it round to visit this couple, but make sure you bring it home too.

I would, but I don't have the time or space a pet dog deserves.
The couple do.

Whispered

Addle wrote: »

I am serious.
Really, I can't see the issue with wanting someone to have company an a preoccupation.

There is nothing wrong with it, but the reality is they have told you that it is not what they want. Why not leave it a while and approach the issue with them again, just don't do it without permission. Not only is it sad for the animal involved, but it is very very insulting to be told what you need. Your plan is a very short sighted way of approaching their perceived need for company.

I know a couple and the man recently retired, their dog died 8 months ago and they have said that a part of them, despite missing the dog, is glad they have the freedom to enjoy their retirement.

You say they're recently retired, give them a chance to settle into this, they might decide to move to timbuktwo and start to have adventures us working plebs can only dream of - or, they might decide after a few months that they could really do with the company and be thankful for your help in finding them a pet when they decide they're ready for one.

sillysmiles

Addle wrote: »

I am serious.
Really, I can't see the issue with wanting someone to have company an a preoccupation.

So get them involved in some active retirement programs.

Do you own a dog yourself? Could you bring your dog around for visits?

CD8ED

Sure why don't ya get them two dogs, in case the first dog needs company?

DoctorEdgeWild

I think this is absolutely insane.

BabysCoffee

Addle wrote: »

I would, but I don't have the time or space a pet dog deserves.
The couple do.

Aw, you don't have time or space for a dog :-(

And you know a couple who don't want a dog :-(

Looks like no one should get a dog

Move on - think of a better present for this couple. Generally it is best to buy a present that the recipient wants - this present will be appreciated.

No one would appreciate getting a dog they don't want.

And it would not be fair on the dog either.

Whispered

CD8ED wrote: »

Sure why don't ya get them two dogs, in case the first dog needs company?

Absolutely - or maybe 3 in case anything happens to one and the one left behind gets lonely. Then again you run the risk of one being left out............... okay, get 4, that's the only logical thing to do.

CarrickMcJoe

What will happen the poor animal when this old couple leave this earth, are you going to look after it, obviously not.

CarrickMcJoe

Get them a cat.

DBB

That you help them is very laudable op, and I'm sure they appreciate your help.
However, they have told you they don't want a dog. So, how could getting them something they don't want be of benefit to them? You're asking a huge amount of them, and making a hell of a lot of assumptions, which would all be very well if it wasn't a real, living creature that'll suffer if you've got this all wrong. They've told you they don't want a dog.... So what's to be questioned here? They don't want one. End of.

I run a rescue, and there have been two occasions where the person who applied for the dog, went through the whole home-check procedure and all, intended the dog to be a present for someone else altogether.
In both cases, the dog was back with me within days, leaving behind a livid "giftee", a confused dog, a furious me, and a red-faced gifter. They had the best of intentions, just like you have, but boy oh boy, did they make the wrong call.

OP, why not either
a) respect their wishes and forget the whole idea, or
b) contact a rescue with a view to this couple fostering a dog to see how they get on... Dipping the toe so to speak, without making the full, lifetime commitment. At least that way, if the poop hits the fan, the dog wil have rescue back-up, and not end up strayed, walking the streets, in the pound, or perhaps worst of all, abandoned out in the garden.

Magenta

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

Get them a cat.

They said they don't want a pet.
A cat is a pet.

CD8ED

Whispered wrote: »

Absolutely - or maybe 3 in case anything happens to one and the one left behind gets lonely. Then again you run the risk of one being left out............... okay, get 4, that's the only logical thing to do.

And best not to get them in the pound, get pure bred dogs that are genitically predisposed to certain health risks. The ones in the pound are broken anyway!

Zaph

Addle wrote: »

I am serious.
Really, I can't see the issue with wanting someone to have company an a preoccupation.

Your intentions may be good, but that doesn't mean you're right. My sister had a dog when she lived at home with my parents. She then bought an apartment and couldn't bring the dog with her, which meant that my parents were left to look after the dog. My parents were already retired at this stage and were enjoying the freedom to do what they wanted, when they wanted to. Then all of a sudden they had a dog to look after which took that freedom away. They had to make sure if they went out that they were back in time to feed the dog, they had to try and find someone to look after the dog any time they wanted to go away and in later years as the dog's health was failing they had to bring her to the vet frequently. I know these are things that every dog owner has to do, but it's something they've signed up to themselves and know what's ahead of them. Imposing this on people when they've already said they don't want it is unfair and completely unacceptable.

DBB

Addle wrote: »

I would, but I don't have the time or space a pet dog deserves.
The couple do.

Hang on a sec Addle... You say the above. Yet at the start of this thread, you were asked this question:

Nody wrote: »

And are you ready to be the dog carer for the next 17 years if it don't work out? Are you willing to pay for their insurance, food, and taking care of it when they need to go somewhere (for what ever reason for longer then 8h)?

If the answer is no to any of those questions you're insulting them by giving them a dog.

To which you replied:

Addle wrote: »

Yes.

Now it seems, you're trolling. Having a good old wind-up on a Sunday morning, eh?
Thread closed.