Time to get away from everything? (Long Post)

Oaking

Well it's nearly 5am writing this so I apologise in advance for any grammar mistakes. Been thinking about making this thread for a while and can't believe I'm actually doing it. Also thanks in advance for anyone that reads this.

So I guess I'll give you all an introduction before I get into it. I'm a 21yr old male, school dropout, single, on the dole, still living at home with my parents and 1 older sibling(sister) with no future prospects and it feels as if my live is over before it's even begun. I feel like I need to get away from everything and everyone and just have a fresh start some place.

So getting into the nitty gritty, I'll start with school. I was fairly bright in school, doing all higher level subjects but when I turned 18 in 6th year I just felt no motivation to be there anymore. The pressure from my family to get a job to help pay the bills was a factor also. So there's huge mistake number 1.

The thing is I grew up in a working class home with no real guidance from my parents. I mean they always looked after me but they never seemed to care when it came school, I constantly had days off and when I failed tests they just shrugged it off and said just try better next time. There was no real discipline. I know its my fault as well for not buckling down anway, to be honest I don't know how I stayed in all honours.

So after I left school I got a Job, which didn't last long (recession) so I was now on the dole. Huge mistake number 2. You see I hate being on the dole. It's so demoralising. But what I forgot to mention, my Mam, Dad & Sister are all on the dole as well and they don't care. They are happy not to look for work and just live like that forever, I don't want that. I want to make something of my life. I think my family are holding me back, they've got me set in their ways of just being on the dole and doing nothing. I do love my family, and the thought of leaving would crush them. I know they'd be stuck financially as well if I left.

Ok now onto friends. Thanks if you're still reading by the way. I don't have friends anymore, I pushed them away. I just felt ashamed that my life is a failure. Every day I check Facebook to see all the people I was in school with are now in College, have jobs and are living their lives. It's just depressing. Being on the dole makes it worse as well because the utter shame I feel going to collect it every week hoping I don't bump into anyone I know since I'll have to explain to them that yes, I'm still doing nothing with my life. I've tried looking for jobs but as you suspect, no leaving Cert cuts my chances to 0. I've been on plenty of Fas course which I've flown through easy. Like I said, I think I'm bright enough. If that's the only positive thing I can say about myself. But nothing ever came of it after I finished them.

So now I think it's best if I get away from it all. But again, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I guess a career in IT wouldn't be so bad. That's what all the Fas courses involved. Even take up a course to teach English in another country. The one thing I always dreamed of when I was a kid was to travel and see the world. I'm rotting staying here.

I guess that's the full story. I'm looking for advice really. I feel as If I do need to go out in the world on my own, without feeling guilt for leaving my family, but don't know where to start. I have around 2k savings as well so I don't know where that would get me.

Matteroffact

You did well writing this so you have some understanding of life. You are at an age where you can do something about your life and it is nice to see that you are willing and able.

You can still pursue the course you want to take. If it is IT then take a course again, get qualifications and then you can look for a job. Ask for all the help you can get while doing this course.

Of course you love your family but you are intelligent enough to see that they are no help to you when seeking a better life. "You" should be your first priority and let your family look after themselves. You need to take action now before it is too late.

Teaching English in a foreign country also sounds good. I am not in a position to advise you on this though as I don't know how to go about it but I am sure that others here will tell you how to do this in the next couple of days.

I think you have a lot going for you in order to make a fresh start in 2014. You have the brains and you saved up a bit of money, that also shows you have a bit of perseverance so hopefully you will get a lot of good advice here. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Is there anywhere near you where you can do the Leaving Cert as a mature student? I know somebody who did the Leaving in their early 20's and went on to college. At least if you have the Leaving you have the basis for a lot more options with jobs as well as studying. You are too young to slip into a rut of unemployment and now is the time to do something about it as you know yourself. Best of luck to you!

ifElseThen

I work in an IT company. There is a chap here like yourself with no formal education. Left school at 15 without a Leaving Cert. But he has an aptitude for programming, i.e JQuery & client side technologies. Taught himself basically.
Our place took him on based on his website & examples of his work.
So although these vacancies might be a bit harder to dig out, there are some out there but you'd need to show how you can be that asset to a company.
You are still only 21 and there is plenty of time for you to get educated and make a career for yourself and live a life for yourself.
If you want to go down the education route first, then you could look to do an IT degree part time at night. But you'd have to wait until you are 23 to go in as a mature student as far as I am aware.
In the meantime before that, do some of the IT courses in your local VECs etc. Or even a step further and chase down a formal certification from one of the big IT Companys, e.g Oracle, Microsoft, e.g SCJP for Java. You don't need any Leaving Cert for those. These certifications can be done through FAS/Local ITs...

thegreatgonzo

You are so young you can still do absolutely anything with your life that you want. There are people starting their careers over that are 10 -15 years older than you so think of what a headstart you have on them. I don't know where you live but there are so many colleges around the country that offer adult education so if you wanted to do your leaving cert you could probably get the back to education allowance and start with that. Look up gotocollege.ie or careerportal.ie (I think).
I really think you need to stand your ground with your family and don't let any of their negative thinking discourage you. There is another way to live that they don't seem to have realised but you have. You sound so bright that I'm sure you will succeed no matter what you do :-)

Merkin

Please please please go back and complete your education. You're so young and only a smidge above the average age of doing the Leaving Cert anyway. I think it will be your golden ticket to a better life so I think that's what you should do. You are bright, you are articulate and you have an acute understanding of why your current life isn't what you want so go get it.

If you really can't face the thought of doing the LC then I advise you to apply to do a Foundation Course in a University here in the UK. It would open up countless doors to you and you would be able to put yourself through the first year by working part-time.

I just did a Google search and Manchester was one of the first to come up. Here is the link
http://www.manchester.ac.uk/undergraduate/courses/foundationyear/.

A Foundation Course is defined as:

Foundation courses provide an entry route into many of the undergraduate courses at Manchester. A foundation course is the first step on the way to successfully obtaining your degree.
Foundation courses are designed for UK/EU and international students whose school leaving qualifications do not meet the current admission requirements for direct entry to their chosen undergraduate programme. We accept students from a wide range of educational backgrounds and consider each application individually.
Our foundation courses have been specifically designed to provide students with the best possible grounding for entry into a wide range of undergraduate degree courses. Students who successfully complete a foundation year are therefore able to progress into year one of their chosen degree subject providing they have taken the relevant pathway modules and passed them at the required standard.

Obviously that's just one University but most of the universities here do them and they are very popular for mature students and people who didn't get school leaving qualifications for one reason or another.

Go get it!

ivytwine

Hey, fair play to you sharing that post, can't have been easy for you.

You come across like a very decent, intelligent person, and I understand how demoralised you must feel, but don't worry, you can get there.

Another poster mentioned teaching English abroad- I'm afraid most countries require a university degree for that.

However, there are a lot of ways you can go about getting out of your rut.

Aguest mentioned doing the LC- my cousin did this. She was not academic and left school before 6th year and had two kids. She went back to Limerick Senior College by night and did her Leaving Cert, and did very well. So there are options there in most cities and big towns in Ireland.

Another thing about doing the LC in an institution like the Senior College is that you are not treated like a child. The Irish school system can be so rigid and can be very very hard for a seventeen year old to stick with, not a mind a 21 year old.

Do you drive OP? I know it's expensive (and getting even more so!) to learn but it would be a great help to you.

I'd advise you to make an appointment with FAS and have a research of courses available to you. There may be jobbridges you could go for- I'm not a big fan of this scheme but it's better than nothing.

Even by doing Level 4 &5 FETAC courses you can work your way into university/an IT if that's what you want.

Is there anything you love to do? Have a think and see if there's a way to get it.

Merkin mentioned the UK- that's a good option as it's quite common over there to not graduate with A-Levels, less emphasis on formal education. However, its economy is not in marvellous shape either.

Good luck OP, you are as good as everyone else. Believe me, my background is not too dissimilar to yours and I managed to get myself a Masters, it can be done. And I met people in college who would nowhere near be able to express themselves with as much insight and intelligence as you have here. Education is great but it's not the only thing in life that matters x

kiva989

Hey OP,

I would def go back and do the Leaving Cert. You're only a tiny bit older than some students doing it at the moment. Plus the few years out of school and in the real world will probably drive you to do much better than you would have done when you were 18. Speak to a guidance counselor too. You come across as really bright so Im sure there is no reason why you shouldnt go on to college as well.

People start college degrees at all ages! So dont be worried that everyone will be younger than you. Best of luck with it all