Why is this happening again? :(

niamhuss

Hey Guys!! Im really hoping to get some good advice from this post, I baaaadly need it
So Im in college at the moment, in a course that is majority girls. This new boy started this year, who i didnt really take any notice of at the start, and never talked to him because the class is so big. However, the more i saw him in class everyday, the more i began to find him attractive. Hes an athlete, goodlooking, popular, and seemed so friendly, constantly chatting to everyone and going round with a smile on his face all the time. Hes a class rep aswell, so hes really making the effort this year.! So....naturallly..i wanted to find out more about him! I still hadnt chatted to him, but i decided to do wat most girls do best.. a bit of facebook creeping I found out that we had loads in common...mutual friends, we were both into eating heealthy and going to the gym, we both played music, both fundraised for the same organisation and went to Calcutta, both in the same course.... i began to fancy him even more So my housemate found out i liked him, and decided to frape me...she messaged him tellling him that id see him at the ball the thurse nite. i was mortified, esp coz i had to see him the next day in a 4hr long practical. I saw him in the practical, and the girls said he kept staring at me.! I didnt notice, until the end when he was sitting in front of me, turned around and gave me the bigest death stare ever!! he had no expression on his face, so at the time i remember feeling so annoyed at my housemate, because i really wanted to shift him that nite at the ball.
I ended up seeing him at the ball, and he kept looking over at me,and looking away. i really fancied him, so i decided YOLO and walked over to him, pulled him to the side, and apologisedd for the frape, incase he thought i was weird. He was all nice, and laughing away, smiling, and he said he partly guessed it was a frape, and that it was cool,and we shud go for drink some nite to get over it! So i was thinking, never mind SOME nite...i said to him" Sher, well go for a drink now"..he smiled and we walked over to the bar. It was packed, and a few of his friends pulled him away from me to talk with him, but he called my name and was like il b over to you in a sec, all smily! the bar, was too packed, so we decided to sit and wait and then he suggested we go to his room in thr hotel coz there was drink there.
So, as you can imagine, i was DELIGHTED. i new i HAD to shift him tonite, and was so happy that things had turned out like this. We ended up shifting, and sleeping together........ But, im afraid,,,,that could have been the worse thing that ever happened.
I have had terrible luck with boys..and have like NO experience having sex, and am really awkward being close to boys, because i have never really got with anyone!! It was SOOO awkward, and bad, he cudnt "get it up", and i clearly hadnt a ****ing clue wat i was doing.. he asked me several times "have i done this before", id say i was probably bad at shifting too We were talking for most of the nite...but he said"i enjoyed our chat"....
So the next morning, he left really early, but was being nice, and taling to me. I asked him...since he was on his fone..and i said it sarcastically "SO, you gonna take my number.." and he just went all quiet and didnt even look at me.
The following week in lecturers, i noticed he KEPT staring at me, even my freinds in the class noticed, and one of them said, i was sitting in front of him, and he kept looking at me, then looking away, then looking again for the whole 2hours! I didnt get to talk to him at all that week, only a brief "hi" passing him with his friends in the corridor. We were off on work experience fot the following 3 weeks, so i knew i wudnt see him for ages. My friends decided to message him on fb, asking him wat the criac was. and she told him that i did actually like him..he messaed back saying That he didnt want to seem like he was coming on to strong or creepy. and that he thought i was th one giving him the cold shoulder.
So she said she thought it woudl b a gud idea for me to message him, so i did, and i said that i was sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring him, that i didnt want to come across like that at all. He didnt message me back. He read the message but didnt message me back....until a MONTH later, when work experience finished.
At this point, after a really stressdul placment, i liked him even more. i thought about him all the time, and i really thought that wen i came back we could talk again, and that he really liked me, coz of all the staring. I got a message saying "Sorry for not replying, yeah alls cool". He asked me about work experience, very brief, one message, and that finished it off with "Gluck".!!! I still really liked him at this stage, thought i still had a chance. I was walking home last tues from college, with a mutual friend, i asked her did she know him, and she was like ooh ya, hes lovely. Actually hes going out with a girl on your class, her name is Katie M.... i nearly DIED. i actually think i felt like throwing up, crying...in those few secs i actually felt my heart stopping inside of me. Since septemeber, i had been thinking about him,finally got with him at the ball, fancied him even more, and then find out that he wasnt even thinking about me!!!! She said he never even mentioned my name to her, and anyone in the class didnt no about us, so he was obvo embarrased. Plus, a few of the boys hes friendly with on our class, dont like me and think im weird coz i threw a can of drink over one of there heads one nite boffore wen i was drunk. And he doesnt like me, coz we dont get on.
Since i found out, i havent been able to think about nything else. IM soo upset over it, esp coz we had so much in common, and i defo ruined it and turned him off me that nite. My friends are saying to get over him, but i CANT. like ive tried, but i see him all the time, the two of them, and i will for the next 2 years, so its not as if i can avoid him, or do the typical "never see him again". I would give anything just to even shift him again, and sort things out...iv never felt so attracted to someone before,!! Liek i cant concentrate on anythin else, i think about him all time, and have even cried over it!! I guess i just want to know...do any of ye think he ever actually liked me?? And would i ever have a chance with him again, coz i like him so much?? Or to just learn frm it? (P.S i deleted him as a freind on fb,,,so i cant see pics of him or notifications of him being in a relationship.
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Ickle Magoo

You already have a thread HERE.

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