My ex owes me money

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm hoping someone will be able to give me advice regarding a situation with my ex. Basically we broke up very suddenly at the beginning of this year. His decision, not mine. We had been having issues but it still came as a complete shock. In the past few months lots has happened, including him trying to get me back and I said no.

Anyway, in February/March of 2012, I loaned him €300 so he could pay a bill, and over the next few months loaned him a further €200 (approximately) for other items. So, in total he owes me about €500. He also has DVDs that belong to me along with a few other items.

My questions is: What do I do? Do I forget about the money and move on or should I ask him for it back? It's almost a year since we split now and it's almost two years since I loaned him the bulk of the money.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

HalloweenJack

Do you still talk to him?

The current relationship you guys have will go a long way to giving you an idea of whether you can get that stuff back. If you have a polite relationship, it should be straightforward but if you guys have a poor relationship, I can see it being more trouble than it's worth.

From what you've mentioned about each other (having lots of issues before the break-up and him trying to get you back), I have a feeling re-opening communication with him (if you don't talk to him already) could cause a lot of problems for yourself. Even if you are still talking and you ask him for this stuff, it could cause problems. The fact that he tried to get you back would suggest he's not over you, whereas you asking him to pay you back and return your things is a definite sign you are over him and want closure. You'd want to consider his reaction to this before deciding what to do.

Also, I'd be of the opinion that if you loaned him the money a year before yez broke up and he hadn't made any effort to pay you back, then maybe he never really had much intention on paying you back. If you're no longer his girlfriend, do you think that attitude could have changed?

I've used the information you provided to fill in a few gaps and only you know the whole story and I could be a bit off.

At the end of the day, how much is that €500 really worth to you and think about how asking him for that money and his reaction to that will affect your life.

JaneeMack

Were you living together when you loaned him that monies? Did he tell you when he would pay it back?

Why do you want that money back now if you haven't pursued it in the last year? Is it cuz you're short or is it out of spite?

I think you have to take into consideration what the money was used for. If it was used to pay for something you used together, like a car or utilities, then I think it is a bit bitter to ask for that money back. Also, if there was no verbal promise as to when he was going to pay it back, I think it is more like you gave him that money rather than loaned it to him with an expectation to be paid back.

In terms of DVDs and other stuff, is your DVD so important that you have to get it back from him after going through all the hassle?

I think you need to think about the motive behind you wanting your stuff back now (seeing that it's been almost a year) and take the right course of action.

Dixie Chick

My advice, leave it! €500 is not worth a clean break from an ex. Unless you don't want a clean break, then that's the only reason why I can see going back now and asking for it.

ladygirl

2 years since you loaned him the money??? Why all of a sudden do you want it back.?? This should have been repaid immediately when ye broke up.

Forget about it and move on with your life!!

Merkin

When the money was lent initially what was the arrangement to pay you back? Because if it was all very casual and loosy goosey when things were good between you it is then very hard to turn around two years after the event claiming he owes it when no mention of it was made before now.

Frank Black

Guest1988 wrote: »

it's almost two years since I loaned him the bulk of the money.

After this long, it's gone, forget about it.