Threatened in work

Frank Boggins

I recently called a colleague into work who was given the job as manager for the week who I felt was basking in the fact that he was manager for the week and not actually getting the work done.

I said to him "I and the other guy on our team feel your attitude is off and your being condescending towards us" and it feels ****e.

I said that he was walking around speaking down to us like he was some sort of movie star and it felt ****. He turned around to me and said this was untrue and if I was to compare him to a movie star again he would grab me and **** me through the door. with this I left the room and now feel like **** and cant get any work done and feel very off.

I dont know the right steps to take cause this is new

qwertz

Notify your HR department of this. Facts only.

joeguevara

You verbally abused him and cursed at him. He did the same back with the added threat of violence. While his actions were not the best you started the situation with the confrontation. Discuss with your real manager on how to difuse the situation. Learn to raise work issues in a better fashion.

Ray Palmer

It really depends on where you work. Cursing could be a natural way people speak in this work place. It comes down to semantics over use of words realistically.

If it is normal for this working environment to use such language then it can't be seen as an aggressive act. No matter what a threat of violence is a completely different level. From a manager this is doubly so. If a manager feels threatened or offended by a worker they should know the correct channels and not resort to physical threats.

I am surprised people haven't been more mature in their comments.

qwertz

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I am surprised people haven't been more mature in their comments.

People? What was immature about my reply?

joeguevara

Ray Palmer wrote: »

It really depends on where you work. Cursing could be a natural way people speak in this work place. It comes down to semantics over use of words realistically.

If it is normal for this working environment to use such language then it can't be seen as an aggressive act. No matter what a threat of violence is a completely different level. From a manager this is doubly so. If a manager feels threatened or offended by a worker they should know the correct channels and not resort to physical threats.

I am surprised people haven't been more mature in their comments.

Hold on a second here. The OP was an instigator in trying to belittle a colleague by calling him a movie star. This was obviously trying to ostracise or ridicule him. While your point about cursing may be commonplace has credence if cursing is not directed at an individual. However, it is never appropriate to curse at an individual when trying to ridicule them.

Secondly, this was not a manager, he was a replacement supervisor for a week. If the OP had a problem with work ethic he should have raised it with a real manager rather than trying to act the hard man.

Thirdly, I said learn to raise workplace issues in a more appropriate fashion. This is the best advice that can be given to the OP.

And Qwertz, if you are trying to notifying HR is a mature response, I agree. However, the OP will have to be aware that they are not without fault in this situation and may be subject to a warning for inappropriate workplace behaviour.

OP I do hope the situation is now resolved.

Ray Palmer

joeguevara wrote: »

Hold on a second here. The OP was an instigator in trying to belittle a colleague by calling him a movie star. This was obviously trying to ostracise or ridicule him. While your point about cursing may be commonplace has credence if cursing is not directed at an individual. However, it is never appropriate to curse at an individual when trying to ridicule them.

Secondly, this was not a manager, he was a replacement supervisor for a week. If the OP had a problem with work ethic he should have raised it with a real manager rather than trying to act the hard man.

Thirdly, I said learn to raise workplace issues in a more appropriate fashion. This is the best advice that can be given to the OP.

And Qwertz, if you are trying to notifying HR is a mature response, I agree. However, the OP will have to be aware that they are not without fault in this situation and may be subject to a warning for inappropriate workplace behaviour.

OP I do hope the situation is now resolved.

Manager for a week act like a manager.

Somebody criticises in ANY manner you do not resort to the threat of violence.

No matter what a threat of violence is a complete and other level. It doesn't matter if the OP is in the wrong. He didn't insult the guys family just basically how he was behaving in work.

The whole talk of ostracising and ridicule him is nonsense. It sound like they were alone. If not for the "Manager" to threaten violence is even worse again.

joeguevara

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Manager for a week act like a manager.

Somebody criticises in ANY manner you do not resort to the threat of violence.

No matter what a threat of violence is a complete and other level. It doesn't matter if the OP is in the wrong. He didn't insult the guys family just basically how he was behaving in work.

The whole talk of ostracising and ridicule him is nonsense. It sound like they were alone. If not for the "Manager" to threaten violence is even worse again.

What would you suggest he does?

Go and report it? Which is what I said.

I don't understand how you don't get that the OP was also in the wrong. THis is what I said in my first post. Are you being obtuse for a reason?

Its All Wright

Sounds like your in the wrong to begin with, even if he is acting manager for the week, he is still the manager and i dont understand why you got so upset when you know he is only in charge for a short period of time. Being a manger myself I always taught to create a line between yourself and your staff. Be nice, treat people fairly & show respect but dont let them think your a push over or they will take advantage of your nature. You can be there mate etc but you might need to go into manager mode someday if there out of line and you need to be taken seriously. However i would never threaten a member of staff with violence but id always try sort issues with the person before going to HR, some things are easily solved without getting all official about but if not knock on HR's door and report it

Ray Palmer

joeguevara wrote: »

What would you suggest he does?

Go and report it? Which is what I said.

I don't understand how you don't get that the OP was also in the wrong. THis is what I said in my first post. Are you being obtuse for a reason?

I reckon he goes to HR.

I don't get where you see that I said he was in the right. I think the language was not acceptable in most places but doesn't mean it isn't normal there and therefore acceptable.

It doesn't matter what was said either way a threat of violence is a huge line to cross. It is a fireable offense in most companies regardless of what was said.

h2005

OP comes across as jealous but a threat of violence is a big no no and HR need to deal with it.

mc_hammered

leave the handbags at home lads. If i was the returning boss and heard these petty squabbles on my return i wouldnt be too impressed with either of ye.

now man up and do the work your paid to do like a good lad not typing your worries on boards on office time

whirlpool

The OP did not verbally abuse his colleague.

The OP also did not curse "at" his colleague. He used a curse word when talking to his colleague - which we ALL do, depending on the boundaries we have established with that colleague. There is a significant difference.

Some of the responses in this thread appear to be have pulled out of the posters' arses.

You may not like the fact that the OP felt like his colleague was treating him badly, but don't make stuff up and make passive aggressive responses.

His colleague was fully in the wrong making a threat of violence against him. There is no more to it than that. The OP should consult with HR about this as a physical threat has been made against him. Nothing else is relevant, especially some of the ill-informed, absolute nonsense being spouted off in this thread.

whirlpool

mc_hammered wrote: »

leave the handbags at home lads. If i was the returning boss and heard these petty squabbles on my return i wouldnt be too impressed with either of ye.

now man up and do the work your paid to do like a good lad not typing your worries on boards on office time

His colleague threatened to "grab him and f*ck him out the door."

Handbags? Petty squabbles? Man up? Are you for real?

garhjw

OP, you handles the initial situation badly but your colleague overstepped the mark in threatening you.

I think you need someone to mediate in order to resolve the situation.

You needto think what is a satisfactory outcome - will an apology suffice or do you think you can no longer work with this person?

mc_hammered

whirlpool wrote: »

His colleague threatened to "grab him and f*ck him out the door."

Handbags? Petty squabbles? Man up? Are you for real?

for real. its all about context. does this man look like he is capable of throwing him out a door? or want to? you and i dont know this. you seem to think this is a major issue i personally think from the facts available its petty. I maybe wrong but i stand by my point for now on the info available from the OP

EdenHazard

so many on boards are absolutely braindead. the op did nothing wrong and that guy seems like an utter scumbag. report him.

Eoin

EdenHazard wrote: »

so many on boards are absolutely braindead.

Make your point without name calling please.

EdenHazard wrote: »

the op did nothing wrong and that guy seems like an utter scumbag. report him.

The other guy's reaction was absolutely unprofessional. But the OP's approach sounded poorly worded, overly personal and had a high chance of getting a negative response of some description.