Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

A hard converstion

  • 02-12-2013 12:15am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I am a 33 year old woman and for the last 14 months have been going out with a guy that I met through a work colleauge. I was previously in a long term relationship but I was single for abot 4 years before meeting this guy.

    We take things very slowly, I have had an amazing year with him. We have great fun, we have a fun sex lfe and it really is all good he is a lovely person and in so many ways is restoring me in confidence.

    We have only recently started talking about previous relationships, deeper life in general etc, its not that we were closed before but as I said we have taken things very slowly.

    I have kinda come to the conclusion through something that he has said, and also something that another friend said that he either now, or previously has suffered with depression. he himself hasnt told me this directly, i could be wrong. But I would not have know otherwise as he does seems happy, not that that means anything as I know many depressed people function


    Anyway, all that aside, I just wanted to give a background.

    So anyway when I met him first he was out of work. And has been since. He is in a highly affected trade and jobs in the area have not come up. He has been for one interview since I met him and sporadically has spoken about jobs, To be honest the thought of him not working really bothers me and I dont know why, a few scenarions


    1) I am talking out my ass, he is always looking for jobs and is just having no luck. What areas is he looking in etc, for anything at all?
    2) He has no desire to work. Is complacent in his unemployment
    3) Since being laid off i think three years ago) has not looked for work, or isnt looking hard anymore due to being knocked back and this causing a cycle of depression


    So the bottom line is, I just have NO IDEA. And what I want to ask, is this an okay conversation to have with him? If he does have other issues, depression etc going on am I just going to make him feel worse. The only scenario I cannot deal with is if he is complacent to not work. And its now getting serious, and I feel its something i want to know....?

    Any comments appreciated


Comments

  • #2
    thegreatgonzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭thegreatgonzo


    The last half of your post is a bit hard to understand, is it that you don't know if he has been looking for a job or not? You need to have a conversation with him about it if so, it doesn't have to be confrontational, just ask him how it makes him feel to be unemployed for so long and what options does he feel he has. Maybe he needs to find the courage to change career, which takes a lot of encouragement. You must have some idea how he fills his days at the moment. I've been unemployed and I've gone back to college to do something else and it can be very depressing but also can be a new beginning. You really should be talking to him about it.


Advertisement