Dealing with difficult housemates

LegacyUser

I'm having a difficult time dealing with housemates and I'm trying to decipher if I'm the one with the problem and this stuff is the norm, or have I landed myself among a load of yobs?

I'm in my late twenties and still find myself sharing as I'm not in a position to afford a place of my own at the minute. I've recently moved in with three others.
One of them is quite slob-like in his behaviour, i.e. throws his rubbish on the living room floor, puts dirty dishes in the presses, stuff like that. I've spoken to him about it and he completely denied it, despite the fact that I could point out several instances of his messiness. I tried to be relatively calm as I don't want to create tension but it's taking its toll.

There's another person in the room next to me. Her boyfriend spends every waking minute here. He pretty much lives here too. The walls are like paper...they have a very active sex life. It doesn't matter what time of the day or night it is...they're like a pair of rabbits. They're quite vocal too. I find my patience really running out now. As I'm privy to every little sound, I cannot relax in my own bedroom. I either have the music on full blast to drown out the sound of them or I leave the room. I feel they're seriously taking the piss but feel awkward addressing this situation. I've always shared and have never had to deal with people who irritate me so much. That housemate has informed me that she is actively looking for somewhere else to live so this gives me a ray of hope for some peaceful days/nights in the near future.
I've got a great deal in terms of rent, location, etc so that's preventing me from moving on just yet.

Are these things just the norm when sharing with others? Do I suck up and get on with it until I can afford my own place or should I tell them to pipe down? Surely there's peaceful house shares out there

ams

Op you need to move out! Nobody should have to put up with that. Yes there are considerate houseshares out there - give in your notice and have a good look on DAFT.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, no you should definitely not have to put up with that behaviour from either one of them - both of them together must be driving you round the twist! I hadn't house shared for ages and a few months ago moved in with a good friend. In the first month or so I had to make a point of telling him when I had heard him and his girlfriend having sex. He was embarrassed, she was embarrassed and now I never hear them - thank God! Do they realise that you can hear everything? Maybe they would keep it down if they did?

As regards the dirty fella...do the other housemates every say anything to him? Maybe you need to all sit down together and have it out with him. I think I'd find him worse than the noisy sex tbh.

DoozerT6

OP, I have shared many houses in the past and yes there are some doozies out there...have a good honest chat with both parties, even if you have to embarrass your randy friend by telling her and her boyfriend word for word (and sound!!) what you can hear from her bedroom. Maybe then they'll put a sock in it (not literally!!!)

As for the other guy, if it's practical to do so, buy yourself one cup, plate, spoon, bowl, saucepan etc and just use those, and wash them up after yourself. Keep them in your room. Then if there's dirty dishes left around, at least he can't deny all responsibility. Maybe the other housemate might follow suit if it bothers her too (and if she's still talking to you, hehe...)

But seriously, if it's not working out, just move. No house, however well suited to your needs, is worth that kind of annoyance if it can't be sorted out. There are loads of investment properties on Daft that people are renting out, so honestly you should have no bother finding a decent place.

TwoGallants

I've shared a lot of houses in my time. You meet a lot of weirdo's and degenerates. Move out now! You won't change anything by talking to them, this kind of behaviour is inherent to them.

Holsten

Easiest option is move.

Dirty man.. these people never learn, their filth doesn't annoy them thus you'll always be the one cleaning up.

Nosy couple... Tell them you can hear them, the embarrassment should tone it down.