truth or dare (lies!)

drzoidberg

Seeking some advice!

I was seeing this guy for a couple of months, everything was great, and out of the blue he (for want of a better word) dumped me.

His reason was that I was too good for him and he was going to "let" me find someone better. He also said he was sick of people eg bouncers, friends etc asking what I was doing with him.

I have a brilliant job (money and satisfaction wise) and when dolled up am a good looking girl (so I am told). He is a waiter and nice looking. I am really heartbroken as I thought we were going some where.

So the question is....in a roundabout way- could this be true?? Or was he just filling me with crap? Do fellas feel threatened by successful women?

loalae

It could be true. He could be talking crap. Some fellas feel threatened by successful women. If they do, that's their problem. If they only want to be with women who are less successful than them, that's their prerogative.

TBH he sounds really patronising. If someone said that to me I'd assume they were not being genuine. I don't know about you, but I have no time for men who cannot just be honest with me. To me, it sounds like a line.

What was it about him that you liked? What was great about your relationship?

You probably are too good for him. He probably said that stuff to you just to make things less awkward for himself. That's selfish. If he was being genuine, and really believed that you are too good for him - do you want to be with someone who will put you on a pedestal?

I wouldn't let this experience influence your self-esteem, confidence, or behaviour.

loalae

*Obviously you don't need to answer here what you liked about him and what was so great about your relationship, but maybe if you reflect yourself on the relationship as a whole you might start to see holes.

nc19

Every relationship has a reacher and a settler


Im the former in mine

I never once thought i should ler her find someone better tbh. Fuçk that! I have her and im never letting go!

most likely there is some other reason

CaraMay

He was letting you down gently op

Matteroffact

Maybe he did feel like you would be the one to dump him eventually so he just didn't want to get too attached. Maybe he was testing you to see if you really cared. Maybe he just feels inadequate beside you. I think he could most definitely be telling the truth, but if this is how he feels then it will never work out. He feels it would be too much of an effort to hold on to you and he isn't up to the challenge.

Frank Black

One of the reasons he broke up with you was because he was sick of bouncers asking what he was doing with you?

Either he's telling the truth in which case he's an idiot and you're better off without him, or he's letting you down gently.

Either way - move on.

ShaShaBear

nc19 wrote: »

Every relationship has a reacher and a settler


Im the former in mine

I never once thought i should ler her find someone better tbh. Fuçk that! I have her and im never letting go!

most likely there is some other reason

I don't agree with this at all.

I, on a regular basis, cannot believe how lucky I am that I managed to tame the man I had been dreaming of and chasing in my head over almost 6 years.

I've seen written evidence supplied to me that my partner feels exactly the same, not that I need it. He reminds me every single day how lucky he feels that I chose him.

Suggesting that there is always one person in a relationship that is settling despite knowing they could do better is suggesting that they aren't really a nice person.

drzoidberg

I hate that idea that there is a reacher and a settler. A common notion among many however.

Bouncers we would know mutually like... I actually laughed at that one. In fairness it would drive me mad to hear someone say that to me !

Ah well. Onwards and upwards. At least I still have my job!

nc19

The people who dont like thinking that there are reachers and settlers or usually the settlers.....

Mit dem Auto

nc19 wrote: »

Every relationship has a reacher and a settler


Im the former in mine

I never once thought i should ler her find someone better tbh. Fuçk that! I have her and im never letting go!

most likely there is some other reason

What does it mean to be "better"?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

nc19 wrote: »

Every relationship has a reacher and a settler


Im the former in mine

I never once thought i should ler her find someone better tbh. Fuçk that! I have her and im never letting go!

most likely there is some other reason

B*llocks! Why can't there be equal partners in a relationship, can you tell me?

drzoidberg

I suppose there is always one who is better looking or has a better job etc (purely superficial crap) who is the "settler".

No odds though. I was the "reacher" apparently and got the flick!

I don't believe in it myself btw and never saw it that way!