Struggling with Christmas

LegacyUser

I'm having problems dealing with the festive 'atmosphere' and all that surrounds it and this year it seems to have come earlier than ever before. The simple fact of the matter is that I have nobody to spend Christmas with and to date have made zero plans of how I will in fact get through the day. I always spent Christmas with my parents but they died suddenly last year therefore last years xmas wasn't really celebrated at all. I have siblings but there is tension there, they rarely contact me and none have extended any invite to me. The same occurred last year. I know they are busy with their own families.

I'm not in a position to go abroad and while it might be ideal to get through the actual day, I don't want to be abroad for the remainder of the week.
I feel incredibly lonely and haven't told anybody because it sounds so desperate and as if I have no friends. I do have friends but they have their own plans, either spending it with family (parents or partners) and there is no way I'd force an invite from anybody and feel like I was intruding on their special day.
I can't face the shops at the moment. I was in M&S last night and saw a gift I would have ideally bought my mother, I got very emotional - managed to contain myself and left the store.
Right now if it allowed, I'd sooner curl up in a ball and sleep until January and not go through the next few weeks.

Grandeeod

OP, its just one day out of the entire festive period. While it is portrayed as a day when you MUST share it with others, that quite frankly is a load of oul cobblers. I know you are finding it hard to contemplate and you are still grieving for your parents. If you have to spend it alone, then spoil yourself rotten. Toast your Mam and Dad and think of the great Christmas's you had together. Have a real pamper day and remember there are others like you and there are others with family and friends that will be screaming at each other with no escape. There is no perfect scenario. You can make the best of it and once the day has passed, then get into the swing of things with your mates, who'll most likely be relieved to escape from their families for a few nights on the tiles.

Chin up OP. You can have a Happy Christmas and I really hope you do. Its more than just one day.

ceo

Hi OP, what horrible time you must be having!
I think you should celebrate Christmas this year. Look at all thats happened, I'm sure your parents would want you to enjoy yourself and not hide away. As previous poster has said its one day when really its a week long event!

I think take a different approach to the day itself. Why not join up with a charity that needs volunteers for Christmas day - volunteering to serve food to the homeless, or there are loads of Christmas swims about on the day.

This will take up a good portion of your day. Its a feel good thing to do. You will be with a group of people some who will have participated for the same reason you have.
You don't have to be life and soul of the occassion but you will certainly benefit from spending time with people who need you or others to be their Christmas Day.

I do hope you celebrate Christmas this year. You are suffering a terrible loss. Christmas can be a very sad occassion. You can sometimes be in a very full house and be very lonely!!

Make the most of organising your social calendar from the 26th onwards so as to ensure you have a Christmas maybe not the kind you would love and deserve to have - but a Christmas nonetheless!!.

Mayboy

Hi there,

Sorry to hear that things are difficult. Would you consider volunteering for Simon Community or a similar charity and doing the Christmas Meals on Wheels or similar. Maybe it would be a way to see that the day can be whatever you want it to be. Bear in mind even those of us who are sharing it with family find it difficult at times too :-)

December2012

I'm so sorry for you OP, that's awful to lose your parents like that.

I'm curious though - why wouldn't you ask a friend for help this year? You know they will help you if you ask.

Do you speak with anybody about your tragic loss?