Worst driver ever - should I just give up?

LegacyUser

Hi,

First, I hope its okay that I post this here as I know there is a forum for cars, but I wanted to post anonymously cos I'm too ashamed to use my name.

I am so down right now I passed my driving test a month ago. Since then I have had two accidents ...no one else was involved, both happened trying to park and I scratched up the side of my car by hitting pillars. It's so embarrassing and I don't know how to get better. When parking in a spot where there is loads of room, i have no problems...but in a spot where there is a car/pillar something next to me, I panic. I also panic if there is someone else behind me because I don't want to hold them up while I try to park.

I thought I was not doing too badly out on the road, but these incidents have my confidence shot to pieces. I see all kinds of people out driving around,young and old, so what is wrong with me that I am having these problems. Are some people not meant to drive??

I have taken lessons just concentrating on parking, and I do okay, but when I'm alone I just seem to make stupid mistakes. My parking is also so hit and miss, some days I do a perfect job, others a disaster.

Should I just give up? To fix the last scratch cost me a lot of money. The latest one is minor but it took some paint off, no dent. Is is possible to fix this myself? I don't have the money to bring it to the repair shop again.

username123

No don't give up!!

Everyone feels like you do when they start driving. That's one of the reasons it's best to start off in an inexpensive car!

Don't do hard stuff until you feel more comfortable. I used to park in the distant corners of carparks so I would have plenty of room and no one watching me park! It gets easier. It's just a matter of repetition. Don't let it knock your confidence. And don't worry about holding people up. Most people are grand about it. Some are morons but that type of person would be giving out no matter how quick someone was parking in front of them. They had to learn once too. Just take your time.

What might help is finding a particular spot to park that isn't too easy but that's not in a busy place and just practicing and practicing on it.

But don't be worrying, everyone goes through a hard time when they start driving.

The highest rate of accidents tends to be for people who passed their test in the last couple years, I think. It's not just you
it takes a while but you need to learn to say right feck yas I'm going to take an extra minute and do this calmly and right. A while of that and you'll be used to it and do it better and without thinking. Plus I think most people don't really mind anyway. Keep going!

miamee

Like username123 there, I used to park in the furthest corners of car parks just so I wouldn't have to squeeze between two cars However practice makes perfect. Drive into a spot as slowly as you can...don't worry about holding people up, a minute or two is not going to ruin their day. Always remember to use your two mirrors, I know it's easy to forget about them sometimes when in a panic but they really are the best thing for reversing into a spot or parallel parking.

I have been driving for 13 years and have my full licence for 11 and I still shudder at the thoughts of parking in some spots despite the fact that I can park pretty much anywhere - my pet hate are the car parks that have you parked up against a pillar in almost every single spot - I hate those!

Just keep your head, a few deep breaths and take it as slowly as you possibly can - if you go slightly astray, stop, drive back out and start again

MissFlitworth

Bar a few driving prodigies I think most people knock lumps off their car in the process of learning to drive, and that process continues even after you've passed your test. Everyone's had that moment where they think 'oh jesus, I cannot do this' (for me it was when I was pulled over on suspicion of drink driving because my road positioning was wobbly and awful a couple of months after passing my test. Being told you drive like a drunk person = not good for the confidence!) My mam knocked down the pillar in our garden driving into it 6 months after passing her test, and this was just driving straight on into the driveway, no reversals or tricky stuff. Actually, the way into my office carpark is through a narrow archway, you'd be VERY amused at the amount of people who have been driving for years and years have taken mirrors and paint off their car because they stopped paying attention for a moment going through.

You will be absolutely fine, you just need to keep it up.

beks101

If it's any consolation OP, I've been driving years and parking is still an act of utter dread for me. I recently had a meeting at a big company in Dublin which has a big, busy car park and I arrived about two hours early for fear of not being able to find a spot "without a car on both sides" !!
Got there, reversed in seamlessly, sat in the car bored for a few hours :pac:

I think this is a mental problem more than anything else - you wouldn't have passed your test - and SO MANY don't - if you weren't a competent and capable driver. Take that as the confidence boost it should be - you know this. You're just not as experienced as someone who's on the road 20 years and could parallel park in their sleep. That takes years of dents and knocks to accomplish.

I'd continue getting the parking-focused lessons and then devote an hour to driving through a few busy car parks and getting used to doing in alone. Take all the advice others have given on board - take your time, don't be stressed by any other motorists, use your mirrors and take it super, super slow.

You'll get there!

shannonman81

I drove into a bin lorry shortly after I passed my test...A BIN LORRY...It is massive and bright yellow!!!
It happens all of us. Your just down because two incidents happened in a short space of time.

Try and put it behind you. Take your time while parking and trust your mirrors.
Don't give up whatever you do because you'll never go back then.

meeeeh

I've got quite a few scratches on the car, most were gotten because of sheer stupidity or because I was under stress at the time.

My father has excellent driving abilities and he knows it. he has great car control, can park in the tightest spots, can use mirrors very well and so on. But his thinking that he is Michael Schumacher actually makes him a lot more dangerous driver than most of other worse drivers. You have to become more confident and not to panic every time when you see a tight parking spot but awareness of your limitations actually makes you a safer driver. a scratch now and again won't kill anybody.

Faith

I'm not a brilliant Parker either but I found it very useful to watch others as they park (people who are good at it!). From watching my OH, I learned great tips for when you drive straight into a space and reversing in. Parallel parking is just a matter of practice, I think. When I had to do it every day, I did it flawlessly most times. Now I have a driveway and my parallel parking skills have gone to hell again. So don't give up, but try to learn from others in a discreet way so that you're not under the pressure of someone watching you.

Aglomerado

Don't give up OP. I passed my driving test 10 years ago and still managed to take a chunk out of my parents' front gate pier (an entrance I've been driving through for years) during the summer. Nice scrape along the wing of my car as well...:o

Scratches, dents are annoying and all that but they don't endanger a life. The main thing is that you are driving safely on the open road.

Fluorescence

It just takes practise to be honest - my instructor told me when I was learning that very very very few people are naturally good (or even "alright") at parking. For most of us plebs, it takes time, concentration and lots of practise. I only passed a few weeks ago and like yourself have had a good bit of trouble now that I'm on my own. The last few weeks have been much better though. I'm getting there and so will you.

Also, you can ask your mechanic to source some paint for you for small jobs (they come in tiny little bottles for touch-ups on scrapes). That's what I've got

Oryx

When I passed my test years ago my instructor told me 'Now you can drive. It will take you the next two years to learn to park.'

You need to practice in an unpressured situation. Always get out and check your parking when you do. You wont see how crooked you are till you get out.

Maybe put up L plates again for a while if you have to do any high stress parking or driving. It may make other drivers more patient with you. (Maybe!)

Console yourself with the fact that even experienced drivers have the odd bump, (I recently had two in the space of 6 days) and that even the best drivers had to learn, once. And remember that your driving is about you, dont worry about who is behind you, thats their problem. Take your time if you have to.

Ah_Yeah

I've been driving 5 years, and I reversed into a pillar less than a year ago. It happens!

I would suggest actually reverse parking - I find it much easier. I am horrific at driving into spots. But when I reverse, I use the two wing mirrors to line myself up either side and I find it much easier. That took practice too, but I never got the hang of driving into spaces. Maybe give that a try?

Fluorescence

Ah_Yeah wrote: »

I've been driving 5 years, and I reversed into a pillar less than a year ago. It happens!

I would suggest actually reverse parking - I find it much easier. I am horrific at driving into spots. But when I reverse, I use the two wing mirrors to line myself up either side and I find it much easier. That took practice too, but I never got the hang of driving into spaces. Maybe give that a try?

I second this! It also makes it way way easier to get out again - visibility is usually abysmal trying to reverse OUT of a space but reversing IN is much safer, I've found.

ABajaninCork

You want to try parking in London, OP!!

I passed in London. Like everyone else, I used to **** bricks trying to park. And Londoners have no patience. Took me at least two years to be confident reversing into spaces at the supermarket car parks. Parallel parking was a closed book. You know how I learnt to parallel park?

I worked as a PA for a boss who lived in Fulham. Fulham's always a bunfight to get parking. No pulling into a space there! In the end, I just had to PP to get into the space. Took my time and inched the car in. Must've taken me about 10 minutes. After that, PP never scared me as much again. Now, after 20 years, I'm confident parking, but it took years.

Just take your time. If people start blowing the horn? Let them! A lot of drivers forget they once had to learn and would have been in the same position as you.

But whatever you do? DON'T GIVE UP! You've spent too much time and money to have your licence sitting there gathering dust...

LegacyUser

I'm driving 15 years and I reversed into a wall this summer gone by. It was just a simple reverse into a gateway on a narrow country road I had to do and I made a mess of it. Bang! A dirty big dent/scratch on the back bumper of my 7 month old car For some reason the accident really rattled my confidence. So much so that I nearly did the car in again a second time because of the way I had started driving. My parking went downhill which became a real problem for me. For the first time ever I didn't feel like I was in control of my car and avoided lots of those scary narrower parking spaces as well.

To get my confidence back I brought my car out to the Tesco near me one evening and started practising parking there. Then I practiced some other things that I'd got shaky about. In time everything got back to normal again and I'm grand now. I even thought about having a driving lesson but I didn't go ahead with that in the end.

Look up YouTube for videos about how to park - they might help. Or have you got someone belonging to you that you could take out with you for some parking lessons and guidance. I've no doubt you'll get up to speed soon. It is a matter of practice practice practice and confidence

The_Conductor

OP- the week after I passed my test- I reversed into the Papal Nuncio's car in Superquinn carpark in Blanchardstown, writing off both his and my car........

That was over 20 years ago. I've now been accident free for almost 15 years, my car is a 2.2 litre estate- and my last insurance was 330 Euro fully comp, with roadside assist and breakdown cover.

Everyone finds it difficult when they start out. All I can suggest- echo'ing the comments above- the more that you drive, the more confident you will get, and the more comfortable you'll be, and the less likely you'll be to take risks.

I don't park somewhere if I think its going to be tight- its not worth the hassle- and I have two legs- there is no reason I need to be parked right at the door. Park in a less crowded part of the car park.

Its not a competition- to see if you can somehow squeeze the car into a space- don't do it- even if you do manage to somehow squash in- then you won't be able to open the doors properly- and if you've shopping to put in the boot later- its not going to work.

Do take your time- so what if a few cars are waiting on you- they were learner drivers once too- and you can be damn sure they made plenty of mistakes in their time.

Avoid obvious hazards- e.g. if a carpark is littered with obstacles, don't part there. I deliberately never park in the underground carpark at the Mater Hospital- it looks like it was designed for go-karts, and its reached the stage that the management company have had to clad the concrete pillars in rubber.

If you have to part somewhere- get out of the car- walk around it once or twice, refresh the dimensions in your head- and then try. Don't blindly reverse thinking, sure you'll squash it in there somehow- sometimes you might, sometimes you might not- for the sake of 30 seconds- don't cause a few grand of damage.

Don't drive a big tank of a car- they are more difficult to park, and less forgiving when you're reversing.

If you have trouble parking- remember- you don't have to reverse in. Its often easier to reverse out than it is in..........

Take your time- the world isn't going to end because you've spent an extra few minutes being diligent.

Just remember- we were all in your boots once upon a time........

LegacyUser

OP here.
Just wanted to say thanks for all the replies, I don't feel so alone now

I will try practise more. We have underground parking where I live and my designated spot is between a wall and large concrete pillar ...Just my luck. It's also near the entrance/exit so there is often cars coming in and out. If I had all the time in the world, I wouldn't have half the problems - I will just try to follow the advice and ignore the people waiting.

It makes me feel a lot better to know Im not the only one who struggles with parking, so thank you all.

John Mason

ah parking. at this stage i would consider myself a great parker, i can reverse, PP, get into the tightest spots etc. - years of practice.


i had passed my test a few months, was driving into the drive, hit the pillar and took the driver handle off the door - that was a fun few months until i had money to replace it

Then last year, parking in work where i have been parking for the last 7 years, managed to hit a pillar, and destory the whole left side of the car.

Decide to try a difference space and took out the right side of the car :eek:

Decided it wasnt worth my while getting it repaired, as i seemed to think the car was a pin ball.

I was lucky my car was black, so covered it up the marks with black shoe polish.

OP, **** happens. you need to just get back out there and keep pratising. you can also buy parking sensors.

fillefatale

These have been my worries recently too as I go for my driving test, I can't park! Its been reassuring to read all these stories, once I get my test I will take this advice on board!

Ah_Yeah

OP, if your underground parking space is a tricky one, use that to your advantage! Your underground shouldn't be as busy as say a commercial or business car park, so take the time, go underground for an hour and reverse in and out, or drive in and out, until you feel comfortable doing it.

Then go to a commercial park at off-peak times and practice driving/reversing in and out.

I cannot emphasise the importance of learning to parallel park - I would recommend that again, you take some time to practice this. Maybe on a quiet road, have a friend come with you and park their car on the road so that you have something to practice lining up between? My friends were very helpful when I was learning

ABajaninCork

Don't forget OP - You're not a bad driver. Just a NEW driver. Big difference!!

Good luck!

Persiancowboy

Op....the title of your post is mis-leading. i was expecting to read about accidents/incidents on the open road or an inability to take-off at lights/junctions without stalling your car.

Reality is, as most posters have pointed out, that you are unpracticed and have confidence issues with parking. Take a look around the car parks of most shopping centres and you will see plenty of evidence of appalling parking ....it's something we are not particularly good at.

Having driven in the States this summer I noticed the marked difference in the actual size of parking spaces there compared to here. Car parks in Ireland are a cash-cow and are often poorly designed to maximise the number of vehicles that can be accommodated...often with little regard for the degree of difficulty this poses for drivers.

Driving is definitely one of those skills in life that is hugely dependent on confidence.....please don't let your recent minor incidents get you down. as i hope you've seen from the replies to your post, you are one of a great many who struggle with this. It will get better with proactice.

dellas1979

The key is to do things slowly/at your pace, to build up your confidence. Doesnt matter who is beeping or flustering you, stay calm! You are driving the car. It is your responsibility how you react. If you are going very slow, you have control, and if you hit something, youll hit it easy.

Youll build up a tolerance in time. If I see a space I want to get into, I indicate (to space), then stop and put on my flashers. And zip in. I dont care who Im holding up . Thats my space and Im gonna get in there.

ivytwine

As regards the underground car park... When you leave in the morning could you possibly give yourself an extra 15/20 mins to be able to take your time and relax about it?

I am a good driver (I think :P) and I have failed my test three times due to nerves. When I saw the tester I literally fell apart and accumulated a rather large amount of blue marks. Nerves and panic are your worst enemy as a driver so try and allow yourself some extra time to park

amtc

I passed my test first time in a new car that I had for all of two hours, and drove to Limerick from Dublin. Someone told me that it takes you at least two years to start looking out for things like little legs behind parked cars. Dead true. very confidently saying I had no accidents in twenty years - had three in two weeks

(1) crashed into a lorry on the canal whilst trying to find portable hair staightener
(2) reversed out of parking space into neighbours' stairs to apartment
(3) clipped car while parallel parking.

Remember you have your place on the road. Confident but cautious.

My mam is a whizz at reversing - I drive in mainly (I go food shopping so I can never understand reversing when you need on the way out to put bags in the boot!). Different for all. What I would say is that glasses make a big difference if you wear them. I got my eyes lasered and when you wear glasses for being short sighted, the angles are all different, now even I can reverse in.

Gokei

You say you're looking around at all the other drivers looking like they were born in the drivers seat..

Have you never seen anyone else panicking trying to park, getting cut out of a bad accident, stalling at the lights, speeding, undertaking..

There's dangerously bad drivers out there, the fact that you're thinking about your driving means you're not going to be one of them.

"Worst driver ever" you say. I live next door to a lad who's wife reported him for drink driving because he came home mouldy and crashed into hers and their sons cars setting of the alarms in the middle of the night.