Post-travel blues

LegacyUser

I recently went on a solo trip to SE Asia, and now that i'm back I feel absolutely terrible. Before going, I struggled with feeling down a lot due to not knowing what I want to do with my life, living in an area that quite frankly I despise, and having a grand total of 3 friends. Now that i'm back, these problems seem to have got a lot worse. Especially the point about not liking where I live. The hustle & bustle of a place such as Bangkok is in stark contrast to the lifeless area I live in now. It's a suburb in Dublin but I just feel devoid of energy, happiness and motivation living here. I'm only in my mid 20's, but I feel that 95% of people my age have a sh*t ton more friends than me. The social highlight of my week is a few drinks with friends whom I've started to dislike because of their negativity and also because they never actually want to go out. I've been looking for a job related to the college course that I studied in, but anywhere I've applied for has rejected me. Basically my whole situation is pretty sh*t and the only thing i'm happy with is my family (who I live with). How can all of these issues be resolved?

Could you try working abroad? Change of scenery, try making more local friends, etc. More work to apply for as well since you're not having any luck here

Santa Cruz

You can see the problem and you should see the solution. Time to move on. You enjoyed your time travelling. Check out the UK for positions relating to your college course. You have only one life and the years can go very quickly

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Is moving to a different area of the city a possibilty?

Also, you seem to have stuck in a rut where you're relying on the same people for social events. I'm guessing these are long-term friends from school or college days.

What you need to do is go to more events such as at meetup.com or something, where you'll not only meet new people, but people who have the same interests as yourself; rather that look at the friends you already have, bcuase it doesnt sound like there are many common interests there at all.

LegacyUser

I have thought about moving abroad but the problem is that I have €2000 in the bank and I reckon it would be more expensive than that to keep myself going for long enough to find a job. Edinburgh and London are both places I was thinking of. Then another possibility I thought of is moving to Asia to teach English, but again even less likely due to expenses. Staying in Dublin is driving me crazy though. I spend all day on the internet applying for jobs, and watching TV series, having no contact with anybody. I've tried meetup before but it didn't work out.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

travellerblues wrote: »

I have thought about moving abroad but the problem is that I have €2000 in the bank and I reckon it would be more expensive than that to keep myself going for long enough to find a job. Edinburgh and London are both places I was thinking of. Then another possibility I thought of is moving to Asia to teach English, but again even less likely due to expenses. Staying in Dublin is driving me crazy though. I spend all day on the internet applying for jobs, and watching TV series, having no contact with anybody. I've tried meetup before but it didn't work out.

Out of interest, are you claiming dole at the moment? I ask because it's usually possible to trasnfer it while you look for wrok in another EU country:

Jobseeker's Benefit (JB) may be transferred to another EEA member state for up to 13 weeks (78 days), if you are looking for work there. You must be getting Jobseeker's Benefit for 4 weeks before you can transfer it to another EEA member state. From 1 May 2010 new EU Regulations came into effect (pdf) which mean that if you apply to transfer your Jobseeker's Benefit, it will be paid directly to you. You are still required to register with the employment services of the country where you have gone to look for work within a week. If you are leaving Ireland to move to Northern Ireland or Britain your Social Welfare Local Office will issue you with the Form U2 (formerly Form E303) which you take to the UK social services. If you are moving to another EU country the Department of Social Protection will send the U2 form to your new address in that EU country.

You may transfer your JB payment more than once while you are unemployed provided you do not exceed the maximum period of 13 weeks.

Source
Might be worth investigating if you decide to stay in more local than SE Asia.

Pippy1976

I totally understand where you're coming from having lived abroad for a number of years and then returned home. The world here seems very small but it's up to you to make the changes.

You say you're very close to a few people. This is absolutely fine. It's best to surround yourself with a few close friends than alot of hangers on. However, you do say that your friends are driving you mad because of their negativity. Have you ever thought that your negativity is making you fed up of your friends? Don't isolate the few people you are close to in your life. Talk to them, discuss your fears about your current situation.

Again, it's up to you to make the changes. I first went to Australia for a year with £2,500 in my bank account. Granted it wasn't much but it got me there and soon after I picked up casual barista work and other bits and pieces along the way.

If you really are unhappy with your current situation you're the only one that can change your circumstances. If you want to travel, book the flight and go. Give yourself 6 - 9 months. If your circumstances haven't improved, work-wise, abroad then come on home and re-train etc.

You're the master of your own desitiny!

travellerblues wrote: »

I recently went on a solo trip to SE Asia, and now that i'm back I feel absolutely terrible. Before going, I struggled with feeling down a lot due to not knowing what I want to do with my life, living in an area that quite frankly I despise, and having a grand total of 3 friends. Now that i'm back, these problems seem to have got a lot worse. Especially the point about not liking where I live. The hustle & bustle of a place such as Bangkok is in stark contrast to the lifeless area I live in now. It's a suburb in Dublin but I just feel devoid of energy, happiness and motivation living here. I'm only in my mid 20's, but I feel that 95% of people my age have a sh*t ton more friends than me. The social highlight of my week is a few drinks with friends whom I've started to dislike because of their negativity and also because they never actually want to go out. I've been looking for a job related to the college course that I studied in, but anywhere I've applied for has rejected me. Basically my whole situation is pretty sh*t and the only thing i'm happy with is my family (who I live with). How can all of these issues be resolved?

ivytwine

travellerblues wrote: »

I have thought about moving abroad but the problem is that I have €2000 in the bank and I reckon it would be more expensive than that to keep myself going for long enough to find a job. Edinburgh and London are both places I was thinking of. Then another possibility I thought of is moving to Asia to teach English, but again even less likely due to expenses. Staying in Dublin is driving me crazy though. I spend all day on the internet applying for jobs, and watching TV series, having no contact with anybody. I've tried meetup before but it didn't work out.

Try TEFL? A lot of the jobs in Korea and China pay your airfare. Two grand is a perfect minimum tbh. Enough for the flight (which will be reimbursed) and enough to keep you going for the first month til you get paid.

Save your money by not going out with people you don't like and fly away somewhere new

WellThen?

I had a similar situation when I returned home. It is almost impossible to go back to where you were, especially if it is back with your parents....!

I had no money either and moving abroad was not an option because of this. However with the first pay I received I moved into a house share in a different area. It was the change of scenery I needed, and I was able to get back on track. Got me out of my rut anyway.

LegacyUser

Stuck in a rut is exactly how I'd describe my situation right now. Living with my parents in a soulless neighbourhood where barely anyone even looks at me. Such a contrast to Thailand for example, where everyone would always smile and complete randomers say hi. I know it's nothing compared to the problems some people have in life, but it's really tough living in a place where you feel unmotivated an uninspired every single day. Another problem is, if I move, do I move to another part of the city such as the city centre or do I move to a completely new country? I know I need a fresh start, but i'm uncertain as to where that should be. A friend is emigrating in January and I've thought about the possibility of moving with him, but that means at least another month of unhappiness in my current situation. Another problem is uncertainty in terms of what I want to work as. I've been aiming for a job related to my degree but unfortunately I picked that degree with euro signs in my eyes. I don't think I would actually enjoy the job. And with no previous work experience, any type work abroad could be very tough to find.

ivytwine

travellerblues wrote: »

Stuck in a rut is exactly how I'd describe my situation right now. Living with my parents in a soulless neighbourhood where barely anyone even looks at me. Such a contrast to Thailand for example, where everyone would always smile and complete randomers say hi. I know it's nothing compared to the problems some people have in life, but it's really tough living in a place where you feel unmotivated an uninspired every single day. Another problem is, if I move, do I move to another part of the city such as the city centre or do I move to a completely new country? I know I need a fresh start, but i'm uncertain as to where that should be. A friend is emigrating in January and I've thought about the possibility of moving with him, but that means at least another month of unhappiness in my current situation. Another problem is uncertainty in terms of what I want to work as. I've been aiming for a job related to my degree but unfortunately I picked that degree with euro signs in my eyes. I don't think I would actually enjoy the job. And with no previous work experience, any type work abroad could be very tough to find.

If you go with your friend, a month is just a month. You will get through it, that's no time at all.

I know how gloomy Ireland seems after somewhere sunny and lovely, but it's not all bad. Even the most soulless Dublin suburbs have voluntary groups and social meet-ups or you could get involved in something just for the month you're waiting (if you go in Jan). Have you tried getting seasonal work? Similarly, now's a good time to get involved in volunteering; everything from Christmas FM to charities like the Lions Club and St Vincent de Paul would be looking for volunteers around now. Seeing as you loved SE Asia so much, would you try doing some fundraising for the Philippines, even something small like a bake sale?

I'm not saying any of this to diminish your experiences by the way. I was in a very similar place last year. Unfortunately the more time you stay in this rut the longer it will go on for- which sounds like tautology I know but it is easy to let time slip by when you're feeling stuck. It is really up to you. None of us can say for sure whether moving somewhere new in Ireland or going abroad is the better option. I chose the former and I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing. But at least it was my decision, if you know what I mean?

I also want to mention about your friends- last year I felt like not talking to anyone half the time because things were so bleak. But this will pass. Only you know if you are friends with these people from convenience or if it's just your perception is colouring things.

Wednesday Addams

OP, if you still wish to travel then 2k is more than enough. Many schools in Korea will actually pay for your flight upfront if you ask for it, and then you just need money to keep you going til your first payday. Pay is normally circa the equiv of €1300-1500 monthly and your rent is paid for by the school also.

LegacyUser

Haha, mentioning Korea has led me to do a day of researching on teaching there, another option to add to my list! Sounds like a great place. My one big fear with not going straight into a job related to my degree is that a degree, from what I've heard, is rendered practically useless if you wait a few years to get a job related to it. So I will have studied for 4 years for nothing. I know I've said I picked my course with euro sings in my eyes, but it would be nice to have that to fall back on if working abroad & for example teaching English failed miserably. It's a pretty confusing time in my life, 24 years old and just out of college not knowing what to do with myself. Most of my classmates clearly have their goals set and went straight into a job. I'm just not exactly sure of the right job for me which at this age is disheartening.

BillyMitchel

Korea! Too late for public school but plenty of good private schools about.

Flights paid for. You have your degree. So all you need is documentation. It won't even take that long. You could be out of here by Feb!

You'll earn enough to do what you want 7 days/nights a week and will meet a lot of really cool good people. You'll live by yourself too. It's an amazing experience.

Need any info on it PM me. I know how exactly how you feel when I came home I went through the worst 12 months of my life. It was such a comedown. I regret coming home at all but I sort of had to.

Oops I see its already been posted! It's a great option to have.

coolemon

I wouldnt advise going abroad unless you intend to stay there for good.

You wouldnt want to come back in a couple of years and have to press the reset button again - with no/few friends and stuck back with the parents or in a place you dont like.

2000 isnt a lot. But perhaps consider moving/sharing in another part of the city. Close to the city centre would be best for you. You will find that the greater density and diversity of people will increase the chances of those important simple interactions. A Hello from a passer by or helping a blind man cross the road can make your day if feeling a bit lonely. There si also more to do and more opportunities to get involved with something and meet friends there.

If you are on social welfare for more than 3 months perhaps apply for internships if you are having difficulty getting paid employment. Its possible to rent a single shared room for 300 a month, which would leave you with about 168 euro a week while doing an internship. 40-50 euro on food, 10 for bills and your left with a sizeable amount of discretionary income. Relativley speaking.