Stuck

Jagerbombbb

We've been dating for two years and he promised me the world and his last name. It was kind of mentally abusive and in turn made me an anxious wreck and probably why I can't let go. I've been doing me for two months. I occasionally will send him and I miss u text but he never responds. He just broke up w me over text and never answered again really. Then he texts me I miss u too. We talk a bit and go to bed. I woke up eager to talk to him apparently overwhelming him to the point of cutting me right back off and I can't seem to stop texting him in desperation to maintain connection w him or get any sort of closure or answers from him. I feel like an idiot the amount I've texted him but I just need answers. He said he stilled loved me? Ahhh how do I stop?! Is this another mental game to make me hold on? I should be smarter then this and less pathetic it really was a never ending cycle of him putting me down and calling me names to the point where I believed him and only felt good with him cuz I hated myself. I'm back to second guessing and hating myself. I need advice. Anything!!

dixiefly

Tbh, your post is a little difficult to fully understand. It does seem that he is not a very nice person to be around. You should cut him out completely, delete his number and try to forget everything he promised you. Then try to rekindle relationships with those family and friends that care for you. A little councelling for you would assist your recovery.

Remember he is a bully and bullies say what suits their agendas and are not honest with reality.

Best of luck.

Abigayle

Jagerbombbb wrote: »

We've been dating for two years and he promised me the world and his last name. It was kind of mentally abusive and in turn made me an anxious wreck and probably why I can't let go. I've been doing me for two months. I occasionally will send him and I miss u text but he never responds. He just broke up w me over text and never answered again really. Then he texts me I miss u too. We talk a bit and go to bed. I woke up eager to talk to him apparently overwhelming him to the point of cutting me right back off and I can't seem to stop texting him in desperation to maintain connection w him or get any sort of closure or answers from him. I feel like an idiot the amount I've texted him but I just need answers. He said he stilled loved me? Ahhh how do I stop?! Is this another mental goame to make me hold on? I should be smarter then this and less pathetic it really was a never ending cycle of him putting me down and calling me names to the point where I believed him and only felt good with him cuz I hated myself. I'm back to second guessing and hating myself. I need advice. Anything!!

Sounds mentally abusive and controlling, and you're right, you're stuck in a bad place. I can't tell you to stop wanting him, but please put down the phone and get help and support from family and friends.

You deserve to be treated better than this, and I do mean by someone else.

Esoteric_

I'd seriously advise you to speak to your doctor about being referred to a counsellor to discuss why you are chasing a man who was controlling and mentally abusive. I understand why you're doing it, and you can't just switch off your feelings, but maybe talking to somebody will give you the confidence you need to extricate yourself from this situation.

Jagerbombbb

Thanks guys. Sorry that was all over the place. After sitting down and talking with family I realized someone who really loved me wouldn't be doing what he did to me. He told me he still loved me and missed me. Then told me he loved me to much and maybe in a few months we can see eachother. I just know if I truely loved someone and it was over for me or I wasn't ready for a relationship right then, I would NEVER give them false hope. Because I would want them to be happy. I would want to set them free. He just would say "not right now" And when we talked, it was all me, wanting to hear how he was doing. I was so excited to hear he was doing well. He never once asked how I was doing or how my gradschool applications were. He really doesn't care. He is a bully and was being selfish and probably texting me to keep me holding on because he was lonely. Probably wants to keep me there incase nothing better comes a long. That's just not love. I could never imagine doing that to someone I loved. I've been strong for two months and I need to keep it that way. He's like a virus. Just sneaks his way back in my head. Told him that this isn't good for me anymore and I'm letting go. Of course he never answered but it felt great to say. Joining a kickboxing/MMA class Monday! Just hope I can stay strong

Abigayle

Jagerbombbb wrote: »

Joining a kickboxing/MMA class Monday! Just hope I can stay strong

Please do stay strong, regardles of whatever lines he gives you to hold on to you. It's almost as though you're merely there as an ego boost for him, don't give in to it.

Enjoy your classes and do everything you can to keep your mind occupied and him out of it. Stay strong and firm Jager.


All the best.

FLOWERS1

Apparently you can become addicted to people particularly within a toxic relationship and so he's just like a drug which is a destructive habit in your life and so you know what you need to do - I hope you find the courage to do it! I know you feel desperate for answers but you'll will have to accept that there are no answers that will suffice and simple recognise that this relationship is not good for you

Best advice like the rest of the poster's have suggested speak to a counsellor and surround yourself with the support of your family and friends

If you do what you've always done - you'll get what you've always gotten

Jagerbombbb

Thought I'd update you guys cuz I'm proud of myself! Like I said I told him that this was no longer what's best for me and that I'm letting him go. And he never answerd. Then tonight I get a text saying "sup" are u kidding me? Just "sup" Haha this kid is a fool, a child. He's not a man or the one for me. Idk why it took so long to see that. I just deleted the text and continued writing my essays for grad school. Yay me!

Jagerbombbb

First time I had the self respect to ignore him

Esoteric_

Well done you!


If you start to struggle, read back on this thread. What you've done is a huge step in the right direction. Be proud of yourself