Unmotivated and lonely

LegacyUser

I'm coming to the end of a college course that has been very taxing on me mentally, mainly due to the people I was studying with. I am due to finish and have exams and assignments due before then. I don't know whats wrong with me but I feel like I've reached the end of my rope with it. I just don't care anymore. I know I have a lot of work to do in a short period of time but I just don't do it. I wake up every morning at 7am and just can't get out of bed. I can't do any work. I used to avoid work and have a lot of anxiety because of my college environment, but now its just like somebody has flipped a switch and I'm devoid of all feeling. I'm so closed to finishing and I need to start working but I just can't seem to self motivate. Does anyone have any practical advice for this?

Another issue I have is basically loneliness. I am early twenties but I live alone (my parent inherited a house and allows me to live in it for a small amount of rent). Obviously plenty of people might love this situation, but the house is not big enough for a roommate and I spend an awful lot of time alone. I have a boyfriend who comes over sometimes but he is busy a lot. My closest friends have moved abroad recently. Whenever I go back to my family house (where my older siblings still live) I almost feel like an outsider, as I often walk in when they are all having dinner or whatnot. Then when I go home to an empty house I just feel this loneliness to the core. I have a feeling it'll get worse with the holidays.

I used to be quite emotional and suffered with anxiety but I've noticed more and more lately that instead of feeling sad or down I'm just feeling empty and like I can't be bothered to even move. I know this may be depression and maybe I can get some counselling in the new year, but I mainly need advice on how it may be possible to alleviate the problem in the immediate future to get me through this course.

any advice or anything really will be appreciated

Merkin

If you are feeling empty and numb then I think you should really go and talk to your GP and get a proper professional diagnosis. I think that should be your first port of call hon.

seanie_c

alonealot wrote: »

Another issue I have is basically loneliness. I am early twenties but I live alone (my parent inherited a house and allows me to live in it for a small amount of rent). Obviously plenty of people might love this situation, but the house is not big enough for a roommate and I spend an awful lot of time alone. I have a boyfriend who comes over sometimes but he is busy a lot. My closest friends have moved abroad recently. Whenever I go back to my family house (where my older siblings still live) I almost feel like an outsider, as I often walk in when they are all having dinner or whatnot. Then when I go home to an empty house I just feel this loneliness to the core. I have a feeling it'll get worse with the holidays.

If you tried talking with your family, would they listen or be dismissive?
Would they say you were being silly? Too emotional?
Just wondering why you feel like an outsider among your own family.

It goes without saying, this time of the year is pretty depressing for most people. It gets dark earlier, it's colder, most people are generally miserable.

Some people go to work when it's dark and mightn't get home until it's dark so I've noticed a lot of people right now in the same boat. But once spring comes, the mood picks up. I agree holidays make it worse but I've spent many holidays on my own now and it doesn't bother me anymore. It's really nothing.

I used to be quite emotional and suffered with anxiety but I've noticed more and more lately that instead of feeling sad or down I'm just feeling empty and like I can't be bothered to even move. I know this may be depression and maybe I can get some counselling in the new year, but I mainly need advice on how it may be possible to alleviate the problem in the immediate future to get me through this course.

Is there no college counsellor you could speak with tomorrow or sometime during the week? It might be best speaking with one asap because if you decide you want to defer the course until next year or later on health grounds, the college shouldn't charge you for dropping out. I realize costs of your course are least of your worries right now but just thinking that might be a problem for you later...

The only thing I could suggest is counselling and in the meantime, look up a few different folks like Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts. Videos on Youtube. Try get Tolles book, The Power Of Now

Gnosticism, Buddhism, Zen, maybe take up Yoga or Meditation, healthy eating + exercise.
Self-Inquiry and spiritual development might be what you need right now.

A meetup group on depression might help too if you can locate one.
Most importantly, stay away from drugs/alcohol as they'll only make you feel worse.

Matteroffact

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life could you just do one little thing that you enjoy doing or that can accomplish something. If you take out your books and just say "I am going to read this chapter and master it and that is all I am going to try and do today". When you have achieved that much you will feel good and will be able to do another little bit the next day and so on. It all starts by doing something small and then build on that. Try not to think of the big picture just yet. You are crowding too much negativity into your brain and it is paralyzing you. What you have to do is just concentrate on one small thing that when you have achieved it you can say "at least I did that much". You will feel so good after that that you will want to do more and more. Eventually you will get back to your studies in this way. Don't give the social life in the college another thought. Things won't always be like this. You will have better days ahead.

littleblackDRS

Matteroffact wrote: »

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life could you just do one little thing that you enjoy doing or that can accomplish something.

+1
I'm in counselling for very similar reasons, and she couldn't stress this enough. The advice I got was to write down something I wanted to do the next day, "something to look forward to", and then spend an hour doing it. Simple stuff like reading, watching a movie, baking, just something you enjoy

It's good that you've decided to talk to somebody in the new year. It can be really scary thinking about having to talk to people about how you're feeling, but honestly it's so easy once you've spoken to your GP. Everyone is on your side, and everyone wants you to get better.

Good luck OP!

Santa Cruz

People don't appreciate the lonlieness being felt by people whose children, friends have emigrated.
With Winter here too there is less likelihood of meeting people out and about. Unless you really feel the need to live in that house perhaps you could think about moving back home for a while.