Size, does it really matter

newbie2013

After seeing a deleted thread on here it got me thinking about the size of willies and women.

My wives friend has been in and out of relationships for the last few years after a long term one with the father of her kids. Now, she is sleeping with every tom dick and harry and even meeting people on line. Now its got to the point where she told us that she just cant see herself ever being with a guy whos not so big down below. Doesnt care how good a person they are or how wealthy but if they aint packing, then its a no-no for her.

Now this is where it gets tricky. Im not blesses down below, infact i think im pretty small but my wife has now started fantasizing about having sex with men who are really big after listening to her friend going on about it. We did buy some thick toys, which she does enjoy but i asked her does she still have thoughts about having a real one that size and the answer is yes!

Im now thinking to myself should i let her experience this seeing as i love her so much and im not overly jealous. If she cheated, yes, i wouldnt be to happy but im thinking we could share this experience together. I just noticed a few comments on here the last few days about swinging and its defo go me curious.

One thing id be afriad of is that she gets to fond of this and starts not wanting me to be in here seeing as im not blessed down below. Quite what happened to her friend once she got a taste of them

FunLover18

Speaking as a man I wouldn't even consider it. At the moment she's just fantasizing, leave it at that. Have you ever fantasized about other women? When you say you're curious about swinging....

Every couple is different and it completely depends on how comfortable you are with each other. But if it were me I would say no. I would argue she's far more likely to get over this fantasy than you are to get over another man. That's just my take though.

beks101

If you're basing this entire thing on some silly conversation between your wife and her friend, who's life situation is totally different from yours and is currently getting her kicks from sleeping around, I'd say the whole thing is a bit retarded to be perfectly honest.

Have you had any problems in your sex life up to now? Women talk, and yeah sometimes we have silly graphic conversations, but unless I was totally miserable with my own sex life, I can't envisage a scenario where some flippant comment a friend made about penis size would make me completely re-consider my sex life and think that I needed to introduce a third party.

Does size count? It can make a bit of a difference yeah, but generally it's less about what he's packing and more what he can actually do with it. The whole "package" as it were, foreplay, attention to detail, attentiveness, sense of adventure, sexual chemistry and rhythm between two people. The best sex I've ever had was with an average guy, the worst was with the 'biggest' because it was so damn uncomfortable to the point of painful.

What works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for another. Have a frank conversation with your wife before assuming this is an issue for her.

FLOWERS1

Sex to me is much better with someone I love regardless of size and if he is not well equipped it really doesn't matter once we are loving and exploring in various ways:0 hehehe
and lets face it, her friend is only out of a serious relationship and is playing the field I really don't think that if she met someone significant that it would be ruled by the size of his penis

also would you complain if your wife was the shape of a bucket or consider sleeping with someone who was shaped like a tin whistle???
Maybe its not always the man's size that counts, as I can assure you we come in all shapes and sizes and what's average to one woman is a bit big for another

don't fix it if its not broken

blatantrereg

Im now thinking to myself should i let her experience this seeing as i love her so much

Nope you want it for your own gratification. Deciding your wife should be with other guys is in the "kinky deviant" category, not the "loving romantic" one.

One thing id be afriad of is that she gets to fond of this and starts not wanting me to be in her

Of course there's a risk of damage to your relationship by the sort of experiment you're talking about. Your wife might be horrified by the suggestion, regardless of how openly she fantasises about it. It's highly emasculating for you, and perhaps places your relationship as less important than gratification.

ted1

It's the motion in the ocean.
Honestly it ain't what you do it's the way that you do it. Some women like big ones, most hate the feeling of it hitting the cervix, most prefer the felling they get if the public bones grinding of each other and especially off the clitorous. As for girth, there's plenty of positions that can make a penis appear thicker or thinner find a few that work for you.

Most men find it hard known that there partner was with other men before them, can't imagine a relationship lasting known your partner was with someone while your together.

If your worried about your size and pleasing your lady, master the art of cunning ligneous and the use if your digits.

dobman88

I am male so I can't tell you if it makes a difference from a womans perspective but don't go rushing into anything. Threesomes rarely work and I have seen threesomes ruin 3 of my friends relationships. This is just a fantasy for your wife and girl talk with her friend. Best left as a fantasy imo.

heretochat

Good lord.. your post sounds like you are considering "pimping" your wife out to a guy with a big package for some reason that would be totally alien to me.

So what if your wife has certain fantasies, we all do to one extent or another. But they are just that - fantasy..

As one of the other posters said, if you are in a loving relationship with your wife and there is nothing wrong sexually, why in the name of God would you want to see her with another man?

As long as you're completely OK with it, your marriage is strong enough to survive any aftermath that may come, and as long as she knows it's just a little fun, then there isn't anything specifically wrong with allowing your wife to sleep with another man. Some people love the idea, some people do not. It's down to the particular individual and their relationship. If you think the answer to the questions I asked above is 100% yes, then go for it, but only if you're 100% sure.

But no, it's not the size. It's what you can do with it. If you feel like you're not .. well endowed, then look into sexual positions that would help this, rather than create a barrier.

FunLover18

I wonder if OP has Indecent Proposal, it's kind of the same thing except no money involved

fungun

2 inputs -

your wifes friend sounds like she is just in it for sex and no attachment. Thats grand, no judgment, but just because she likes that (and feels size matters in those types of engagements), it doesnt follow that this will work for your wife. She may miss the emotional aspect or she may find it uncomfortable or whatever, so she should be wary of being overly influenced by someone whose attitude to sex may not match her own.

if, however, this is a fantasy she has and you are also excited by this then by all means go explore it, as long as you are both honest and comfortable with it. Your reaction to this suggestion sounds to me like you were thinking this way anyway....asking your wife would she like a real one kinda suggests to me this idea excites you, independent of what she would like (whether this is swinging or you being a cuckold). It should be done only if both of you want to explore this, and Id advise you explore this just between the two of you first like, for instance, she was blindfolded and imagining you to be someone else, calling out his name...how do you feel? But be aware that any exploration like this should be done carefully.....it can (and often does) end in disaster, whether emotionally or physically.

(as a test, change your way you think for a second...instead of imagining your wife having a 'big cock', pick a guy you see somewhere or a man she knows and imagine her with him. This way it feels more 'real' than a disembodied cock in a fantasy...if you are now thinking...hmm, not so sure I'd like that...then Id suggest this is not for you)

Potatoeman

Sounds like you are overthinking it. Do you have fantasies about women with larger brests than her? Does that mean she should be ok with you sleeping with one. Maybe you are insecure about your size and this hit a spot?

I would also consider that the friend is talking her experience up so it looks like she happy. It might be hard for her to be single when her friend is in a relationship. Some people are competitive like that.

Czarcasm

OP correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem fiercely negatively judgemental of your wife's friend for her attitude. I can't say I blame you, but not for the reasons you're thinking. She sounds like a mouthy twat. I wouldn't care how many guys a woman slept with, but clearly she has you two as a willing audience for her sexual exploits, hanging on her every word. Everybody has a laugh about a few funny sexploits, but your wife's friend seems to need validation for her choices. That aside, if you're judging your wife's friend like that, what way will you judge your wife if she has sex with other men?

You really do seem to want this more for yourself than your wife the way you talk about it. Your wife's fantasies aren't the problem. Your own insecurity about your ability to pleasure your wife is the problem, and because you're trying to pass that off as something your wife really wants, you focussed on the penis as the solution.

All due respect OP, great sex is 1% penetration, and 99% imagination. If the best you could come up with for giving your wife pleasure is watching another man giving her pleasure, then seriously, you'd want to go away and think a bit harder, rather than just solely focussing on penetration with a piledriver. As beks said above, it can be incredibly painful rather than pleasurable, and I'd go further than that and say that for some women, their eyes are bigger than their vagina.

That's why for both you, and your wife, and her indiscreet and boastful friend, the reality can be very different from the fantasy, or do you think that larger endowed men don't suffer the same issues with being too large for most women? That's when they too have to use their imaginations and find alternative ways to please their partner.

TL;DR: Deal with your own insecurities first OP and learn to get creative in the bedroom rather than expecting somebody else to do all the work for you. It's not that hard to use your imagination, the size of which is far more important than the size of your penis.

BraziliaNZ

Czarcasm wrote: »

All due respect OP, great sex is 1% penetration, and 99% imagination.

How do you know? Do you have a vagina? Did your wife tell you that?
Penis size is important, I wouldn't imagine any woman would have "Small dick" in their list of must haves for a man - if your dick is too small, it wont do it for many women, certainly not ones who know what normal sex feels like.
I wouldn't advise the leasing your woman out scenario OP, it's only going to cause insecurities - you may not be jealous now, but she's not out getting banged by men with bigger wieners than you right now. Personally I can't think of anything worse!
If your sex life is satisfying as is, let her decide whether she needs a larger dick or not.

Holsten

The friend sounds like a complete idiot.

As for your wife... wow, I know what I'd be doing in that situation, she can take it or leave it.

Matteroffact

The biggest turn on for women is a guy with confidence. If you go to your wife with this paltry idea that she can have sex with a bigger man because you don't feel adequate enough you will be doing yourself no favours. You need to work on your technique and be full of confidence if you want to satisfy your wife and drop all ideas of her being free to have sex with someone else. This is a ridiculous idea in my opinion. I don't know which of you is worse, you for entertaining the idea, your wife for being so insensitive as to say something like this to you, or her friend for bragging about it.

carzony

If you can make a girl cum with your finger than size really doesn't matter that much lol... That's how i'v always seen it anyway......

MagicMarker

Op, it doesn't really matter what anyone here says. What matters is what your wife says.

Men come in all shapes and sizes and so do women, some men are small and some are big, some women are tighter than others. The fact that this women married you should tell you all that you need to know in that respect.

The bigger issue here is her mentioning this to you at all. It's incredibly insensitive and disrespectful in my opinion.

LegacyUser

It is possible to have open relationships or swing but it's something both people need to be 100% comfortable with and you set clear boundaries before and make sure you keep communication open and clear. You don't sound like someone who could deal with that sort of relationship OP.

Have you thought about exterminating with your sex life just the two of you. There are toys such as silcon gloves you can buy to increase your girth, they slide over your penis and usually have an open top so your still getting all the sensation on the top of your penis and the insides can have bumps that also stimulate you and depending on the design ridges and bumps on the outside for her. There are loads of other toys and aids you can use...if it is really bothering OP then do the research and play around with things....but remember no matter what you opt to do OP always play safe

LegacyUser

OP: as a woman I can say yes, absolutely yes, size does matter. The bigger the better. Position wise it's great. Small is extremely disappointing, it just does nothing for me, and that is that.
I wouldn't advise the threesome/watching your wife being taken by another man, it will ultimately lead to resentment at some stage down the line, but only you know the limit of your own tolerance!
Best of luck.

dixiefly

newbie2013 wrote: »

After seeing a deleted thread on here it got me thinking about the size of willies and women.

My wives friend has been in and out of relationships for the last few years after a long term one with the father of her kids. Now, she is sleeping with every tom dick and harry and even meeting people on line. Now its got to the point where she told us that she just cant see herself ever being with a guy whos not so big down below. Doesnt care how good a person they are or how wealthy but if they aint packing, then its a no-no for her.

Now this is where it gets tricky. Im not blesses down below, infact i think im pretty small but my wife has now started fantasizing about having sex with men who are really big after listening to her friend going on about it. We did buy some thick toys, which she does enjoy but i asked her does she still have thoughts about having a real one that size and the answer is yes!

Im now thinking to myself should i let her experience this seeing as i love her so much and im not overly jealous. If she cheated, yes, i wouldnt be to happy but im thinking we could share this experience together. I just noticed a few comments on here the last few days about swinging and its defo go me curious.

One thing id be afriad of is that she gets to fond of this and starts not wanting me to be in here seeing as im not blessed down below. Quite what happened to her friend once she got a taste of them

OP, Maybe I have not read all the threads but the only reference to swinging has been from your good self when you brought it up as a suggestion to a lady having problems with her hubbies interest in sex. I have rarely seen it referenced before.

On the topic in hand others have answered it very well. I am not sure how you can tink what you are suggesting is anything other than a time bomb. There are plenty of marriages breaking up for much less reason but, as they say, it takes all sorts to make up the world.

As regards the friend, it is up to herself what she does but I think she is looking for validation for her behaviour somewhere and seems to have found a recipient in your wife and, possibly, you. She may have limited things to taklk about but, if it was a friend of mine, I think I would ask her to go a bit lighter on the details.

Bajee

newbie2013 wrote: »

After seeing a deleted thread on here it got me thinking about the size of willies and women.

My wives friend has been in and out of relationships for the last few years after a long term one with the father of her kids. Now, she is sleeping with every tom dick and harry and even meeting people on line. Now its got to the point where she told us that she just cant see herself ever being with a guy whos not so big down below. Doesnt care how good a person they are or how wealthy but if they aint packing, then its a no-no for her.

Now this is where it gets tricky. Im not blesses down below, infact i think im pretty small but my wife has now started fantasizing about having sex with men who are really big after listening to her friend going on about it. We did buy some thick toys, which she does enjoy but i asked her does she still have thoughts about having a real one that size and the answer is yes!

Im now thinking to myself should i let her experience this seeing as i love her so much and im not overly jealous. If she cheated, yes, i wouldnt be to happy but im thinking we could share this experience together. I just noticed a few comments on here the last few days about swinging and its defo go me curious.

One thing id be afriad of is that she gets to fond of this and starts not wanting me to be in here seeing as im not blessed down below. Quite what happened to her friend once she got a taste of them

She may be suffering from a lazy vageen which she may want to get checked

Abigayle

Isn't the friend just delightful. I've no issue with the woman enjoying single life, but being honest she sounds crude and gobby.

Her tales of her wild nights have triggered something in your wife by the sounds of things, which can happen if a relationship isn't kept exciting in general, not just bedroom related matters.

I might add that I think your wife is being incredibly insensitive towards you. She's twatting on about bigger men, without so much as a thought for how you might be feeling.

Rather than dive down the swingers route first, I think you need to work on your marriage first. Swinging couples will only stay together if their own relationship is sturdy enough to withstand it, and Im not getting the feeling yours is.

Another point, I do not discuss anything to do with mine and my partners sex life with anyone, I love and respect him, that's why. I think it's out of order to talk about something so private with anyone else.

Sometimes marriages need a little jump start, which is fine. Every day stresses and life can put a strain on a couples sex life, and this is something you need to talk about, because this friend is putting the notion in your wife's mind that she needs a bigger man.

Arrange date nights with your wife, make time for each other, and work on that before you go adding anyone else in the mix.

You need to talk to each other, and the sooner the better.

RoscommonTom

You can buy cock extenders in the internet what will give you a few extra inches, they are fairly cheap, they are a bit like a rubber tube that you put on over your cock, maybe that would let her get what she is looking for without having to involve a another fella

Legs.Eleven

Whatever about the friend but I don't understand why your wife is saying those things to you. I'd be extremely annoyed with her about this and would love to understand how she feels it's okay to say those things to you.

It genuinely sounds like she's trying to make you feel like crap as it's not something you can change about yourself.

The mind boggles.

fungun

Friends influence each other to some extent - thats fine. But when her friend speaks about big cocks being great which is her view, does your wife talk back about sex in a real loving relationship is great? Is that her view?

Sounds like her head is being turned more than she is turning her friends head.